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Overcoming Pain In A Broken Relationship

Updated on December 20, 2014

Getting Over Hurt When Love Fails

No matter our status, our personality or our background, many of us have gone through pain in a broken relationship. I believe many of us cling to the promises made by either partner when courting and all those promises are so real they keep us hopeful for a very happy relationship.

This hope is what we believe in and that is why when things go wrong, the vulnerable ones stay in denial because they believed in the promises so deeply so they can't imagine why or what went wrong and so, they will always find ways to keep hoping even when chances are thinning and even when all that hope is gone.

Come on, you will all agree with me that the best thing ever to happen in a persons life is being loved and the worst thing ever to happen to a persons life is to be denied that love and if I may go ahead and specify, if the person being denied the love still loves that other person who selfishly denies them that love makes it more unfair. So from the ancient times, we all know that love is very powerful and it can lead to so much joy, happiness, and satisfaction and this radiates in humans giving them so much warmth and energy. In the bible love is described as the greatest commandment in the new testament so when we use love it means a lot. Below are some attributes of love:

  • kindness,
  • patience,
  • caring,
  • understanding, persevering, and
  • forgiving.

That is what makes love hurt when a relationship ends and the person you loved is no longer a part of your life.

When love fails, there is:

  • hatred,
  • anger,
  • sorrow,
  • despair,
  • jealous,
  • unforgiving,,,,,, all the vice.

That is why when love is gone, the heart is broken because all the nice and wonderful components that make love and nourish it are gone and malnutrition of the heart begins:

  • depression,
  • suicide,
  • drugs, in short we say our hearts get broken. When love is gone, all the energy and warmth goes away with it and in many cases some people also develop
  • a lack of appetite for food,
  • friends,
  • good grooming,
  • good sleep and what happens after?? the health is at risk and before you know it, you succumb to desperation and depression .

How we can overcome the hurt

You see, people cope with hurt in a relationship differently. There are those who cope with it in a calm way and try to reason what went wrong and there are those who get angry and get into denial and mostly these are the people who withdraw to themselves and harbor bitterness which can lead them to doing things they didn't intend because they will be doing this to ease the pain. There are ways to deal with pain and loneliness, you can either choose to do the following:

  • Go places,
  • see people ,
  • visit different places to try and forget the pain, and these are the people who heal and recover quickly from the hurt.

Others will stay to themselves and

  • seethe, and
  • swear, and they will
  • keep to themselves reflecting on what went wrong, to these, it can be even more painful because they will not have anybody to unload their pains onto or have a shoulder to cry on and this can be quiet painful and instead of this person healing, he will continue to suffer silently.


How To Cope With A Broken Relationship

How do we deal with pain when love is gone?

First of all: no one sees it coming, everyone wants to imagine that their relationships are the best and that they are going to live happily ever after until poof!! it hits. I am not saying this applies to everyone because there are people whose lives are a fairy tale.

  1. Never blame yourself when a relationship fails
  2. You have the right to be angry but don't stay on the anger forever, just try and let go
  3. Reflect only on the good things that you did together and not the bad it will help you ease the anger and see a positive side
  4. Don't stay closed up in self pity, go out and meet your friends and do things together
  5. Decide to do a new thing that you never did before and this will take your mind off the break up
  6. Try and venture into something exciting to stimulate your mind and excite you to keep you happy
  7. Do sports, you might not be a very good sports person but this is a sure way to energize yourself and keeping yourself occupied.
  8. Read books, or take up a course to keep you scheduled
  9. If you like writing, wow!! amazing because this is one way of you writing off your pain and stress
  10. Go out, meet new people, liaise, go out shopping, cinemas,before you know it you will be smiling back to your old jolly you
  11. If you are not working, instead of staying indoors and mounting up sorrow and self-pity, then go out and even look for voluntary jobs and this way you will also be helping others and you will feel good about it.
  12. If you can't handle being alone, go to a friends for some time, parents or anywhere you feel good to visit
  13. Always think positive about yourself and know that you are the best
  14. Love yourself a bit more and by doing this others will start to love you.
  15. Lastly but not least, the hardest bit of all, Forgive that person who hurt you and by doing so, you are easing the burdens from your hurt and opening your heart for love again.
  • With all this said and done then we can say love never fails or is it never dies?? well why not try giving your heart another chance and see for yourselves if there still is love out there. Enjoy life or is it vivre la vie?


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    • dodonet profile imageAUTHOR

      Dorothy Godier 

      9 years ago from LONDON

      I will let you know about it very soon Keep on being blessed and thank you Lucy.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      How true this article is--

      It has really benifited me alot would be glad if you can introduce me to any book you have published.i have totally enjoyed-good article indeed.


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