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Updated on May 6, 2011

Face the facts

 Can you see yourself in the following descriptions:

1. I can not stand up and speak in public to save my life!

2. Even if I want to make a key point in a meeting, I fear making a fool of myself.

3. I hate entering any room where there are other people I either do not know at all or just slightly.

4. It would be impossible for me to perform in anyway on a stage. The thought of people looking at me is petrifying.

Just 4 examples of pretty commonly held personal views by people in respect of themselves and their interaction with others,There are many more but they just serve as examples of lack of self confidence and maybe even low self esteem.

It is no use berating someone who has such thoughts and in effect telling them to think as a pair of curtains and pull themselves together. Brusque and neo bullying approaches will only make things worse.


The key thing to understand if you have such feelings of low self confidence is that you are far from alone and also that the most self confident person you know once harboured exactly the same inhibitions as you still do.

We all need to be able to develop security in our surroundings and thus ourselves. Thus, when I was first training to be a Teacher, I suffered all sorts of panic and despair when taking a class in front of my peers or Tutor. At the end of 3 years, it was just another task. The preparation, application and concentration were still there but all the negative emotions had vanished, leaving my whole a much better Teacher and person. Practice along the way was the only difference. In this case familiarity bred confidence and not contempt.

So what is there to do?Firstly, identify your key problem. Do not try to solve everything at once, although you will find that establishing your foot hold in one area will have beneficial effects in others. If for example, you find room entering difficult, put yourself into those situations whenever you can. Use a friend as a prop initially, but do not fall into the trap of clinging on and as soon as you can make an individual entry. If you hate public speaking, then converse initially in a small group comprised mainly of friends but with the odd stranger and go on from there.Public Speaking needs confidence and Technique but most of all the speaker must know what they are speaking about.I attend too many events where speakers have the style but not the substance and where a less polished but sincere and informed speaker holds the audience far better.


I know many reading this who lack self confidence will conclude that it is easy to say but harder to do. Correct, but not impossible. Back yourself is my message, for that is what all the others you wish to emulate do. No one is useless and what may seem mundane to you may be of interest to someone else. Sometimes I feel we think too much about what we might say ,when listening to what others say may open the door for us. Of course there are many, better qualified to give advice than I and my link below gives such an example that may be of help. Overall we must remember that whilst we are all different we are all worthy and the true person fully understands that we learn from each other. The road to self confidence should be built on firm foundations by genuine practice and application. Given that I know of no one who will not advance themselves.


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