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Pardon me, am I the Door Woman?

Updated on May 6, 2010

Have you ever been coming out of a store and held the door for someone coming in, only to have them and their offspring march into the store, head held high and not said a WORD? Nothing, not adult, not child. No thanks, no attempt to help hold the door, no manners whatsoever! I bet this has happened to you, hasn't it?

One day, I decided to call someone on this rude behavior. I opened the door to leave a store, and a woman in her late 30's toting her Louis Vuitton purse, and wearing her Prada clothing, marched into the store, with her teenage daughter in tow, never saying a single word, and not allowing me to leave the store first. As I walked through the door, I turned and loudly exclaimed: "YOUR WELCOME!" to this oblivious woman, whom I am certain did not get the gist of my loud retort.

Another time, I was existing Massachusetts transit with a very large suitcase coming from Logan airport. As the "T" stopped, the doors opened, and before anyone could exit the train, people started to load on pushing and shoving their way into the small compartment. I raised my voice again, announcing that those who were entering needed to back up so my daughter and I could roll our suitcases out and make room for them to enter!

Rudeness has become almost epidemic in all parts of the country, and I know as I have lived all over the country! Drivers honk and flip their middle fingers at you, people try to cut in lines, others move into the middle of a lane in order to be able to turn against traffic, often holding lines and tangling traffic. If you are kind enough to let someone in, they ignore this gesture, or the cars behind you begin honking their horns.

While living in Massachusetts, which is THE worst state for driving, bar none, in my estimation, I was at a Dunkin Donuts and paid for my coffee and sat at the drive up waiting my drink. The driver behind me started honking at me to move my car, and my coffee has not yet been poured and handed to me! The entitlement issues people have are astounding to me!

While working in the Boston area a woman came into where my husband and I worked and started SCREAMING at him about her daughters account. My husband, cool and calm, stood while she was screaming and waited until she stopped. He calmly asked her "where all her anger was coming from?" only to have her meet his gaze with her mouth gaping like a fish. She honestly believed he would begin arguing back and when he didn't, she did not know what to do!

While at the grocery store a few months ago, a man nearly ran over me because he was on his cell phone. He turned to me and sarcastically stated:"sorry I did not see you, I was on my cell phone". I told him then he should get off his cell phone then. He looked right at me and said "F--k you lady". This came from a man who I judge was in his early 30's. His comment upset me so much I reported his belligerence to the manager. By this time he was gone, but not before yakking his way out the door and running into several other people. Totally unfazed, he felt it was his "right" to chat away and disregard others.

I try diligently to live my life without judging others, and it is hard to do in this world. But since I am not paid to be the doorman, it would be nice if someone at least reciprocated with a sincere thank you for my efforts. I do not think it is asking too much for someone to remember their manners. We all have to live on this planet, so what is so hard about some appreciation?

Thanks for listening while I vent!

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    • Aley Martin profile imageAUTHOR

      Alice Lee Martin 

      8 years ago from Sumner, Washington,USA

      Yup, I know it is my shadow side that is upset about this! most of the time, I can endure, sometimes it just gets my goat!

      Thanks for coming by!

    • green tea-cher profile image

      green tea-cher 

      8 years ago

      I understand your frustration Aley, I see it all the time. On the other hand, I often make a point of running ahead to open doors for people and you should see the big smiles I get. They make my day.

    • Aley Martin profile imageAUTHOR

      Alice Lee Martin 

      8 years ago from Sumner, Washington,USA

      You made me smile today..next time you are behind me, I'll hold the door for you!

      :)

    • Buffoon profile image

      Buffoon 

      8 years ago

      I was mentally venting right there with you all the while I was reading, I think I should feel good now but I'm really fuming at people's bad manners! LOL

      I SO empathize with the "doorman feeling"! I used to get upset, and sometimes do what you did, scream a loud "WELCOME MA'AM!", but I don't do that any longer, now as I see the doorman thing is gonna happen to me, I just let the door fall on the face of whoever confused me with the bell boy. I'm not entirely proud of this either, but damn, I've had it, you know?!

    • Aley Martin profile imageAUTHOR

      Alice Lee Martin 

      8 years ago from Sumner, Washington,USA

      Thanks to all for your comments. The fact that seniors, and disabled people must endure this from rude people makes me really furious! I go out of my way to hold the door for such, often running up to open the door for them. And those with baby carriages as well. I saw a woman once who was trying to cross the street shift her walker and a small grocery cart at the same time. This really saddened me...perhaps I am too sensitive...

      And I do recognize it is not everyone...thank GOD. But I wish people would realize: "there but for the grace of God, go I."

    • formerbronxboy profile image

      formerbronxboy 

      8 years ago from NOT THE BRONX

      Try being in a wheelchair and having people let a door go on you.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      8 years ago from TEXAS

      For sure the "me-first" attitudes are rampant. So few bother to consider how their behaviour impacts others. People on cell phones amble cata-cornered across the car lanes in parking lots without glancing right or left at the cars they're holding up, people turning off busy thoroughfares almost come to full stops in the busy lane before ambling around the corner. It almost seems that they think they're around it when their eyes are!

      And - oh, yes - the folks at doors who allow me to hold the door open for them! (and I'm obviously a senior citizen who doesn't appear to be working as a doorwoman!) It's not only the haughty ones like you describe who just glide through the door I open for myself, but sometimes a line of people behind those types just keep streaming in while it's open, seemingly not noticing that it's being held for them by someone's great-grandma! And sure enough - they take it as their due.

      Occasionally a gentleman or gentlewoman of a younger persuasion will get there & take over the duty, while the streaming line continues to use him or her as their doorperson. On the other hand, if I'm coming up to a door, many times the person ahead will just let it slam almost in my face as I get there rather than handing it to me as they go on in. (perhaps where I make my mistake; I won't do that, but I get caught and assigned the duty!)

      But in all fairness, I've experienced many nice folks who do hold it for me and graciously too.

      Apparently there are mannenrs being taught in some quarters. It's a sign of the times, though - - that it's so rare!

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 

      8 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Hi Aley-I so understand your misery! Eleven years ago I got so fed up with city folk that I moved to a very small town where everyone seems to mind their p's and q's.

      We have no choice-most of us know each other already!

      Good for you in standing up for yourself!

    • Aley Martin profile imageAUTHOR

      Alice Lee Martin 

      8 years ago from Sumner, Washington,USA

      I have had to come to the conclusion that I do the act mostly because I am polite, and it needs no "reward"...but sometimes, the total lack of politeness around us, just gets to me. Love your comments...thanks so much.

    • davidisaiah profile image

      davidisaiah 

      8 years ago from Klamath Falls, Oregon

      I, too, have noticed such lack of social grace in my small town in Oregon. One thing that helps me is to remember why I am being polite.....

      I was once standing in a stalled, long, and slow-moving line for check-out. Making small talk to the man in front of me, I asked, "So, How are you doing?'

      He responded, "No good, but why complain, nobody listens!"

      Then, in a moment, he said, "Wait a minute, that's not right, My grandmother always said, "With complaints come poverty, with gratitude riches!".

      With that comment, the line started moving again.

      I thanked him for making my day. I try to remember grandmother like maxims.

      To all those who choose not to be polite, thanks for the opportunity to become healthy.

    • suny51 profile image

      suny51 

      8 years ago

      so true,Aley Martin.what an embracing moment that,but we take it with a smile and watch around just to check if some one else is smiling too.

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