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Paying it forward; a story of conquering domestic violence

Updated on February 1, 2012

Kindness in this dreaded world still exists. Who knew? Domestic violence seems to be on the rampage these days. Husbands and boyfriends killing or trying to kill the women they love. It seems everytime I turn on the television the headline reads something like "Woman strangled, husband is prime suspect". I have not seen too many cases though where the wife or girlfriend has tried to harm or kill their significant other. Why is this I wonder?

I have a close friend that was recent victim of domestic violence. She fits right in with the current news events. She is a past victim of abuse as well. It seems to be the theme title of her life. You would think after 30 years a person would be wiser at being a better judge of character. However, she always believed there is good in everyone. She only wanted to be loved for who she is. She wanted to trust and believe in someone again. My friend, lets call her Shay, had been hurt and betrayed by dang near everyone it seems. Over and over from childhood on. At her lowest point in life and not wanting to live anymore, the love of her life came along. The knight on the white horse so to speak. He resuced her in every way. Another chance at happiness. True love, or so she thought.

As usual in an instant the rug was jerked from under her feet, and her whole world turned upside down. Except this time she was left running on foot fearing for her life. Her experiences with people in the new town left her hopeless to find help. It seemed from the time she arrived, no one liked or accepted her. She has been warned to not trust anyone. Her so called true love had changed. She never got to go anywhere or meet people. He became jealous, controlling, not trusting her anymore. Shay had been in this situation before. She stayed though because she didn't want to believe this kindhearted man could ever harm her. In the beginning what they shared was beautiful, and she had never felt more loved. She ignored all the signs that she was being abused. Shay had left her friends and family behind, and all she knew was right, for him; for love. Who was she going to find to help her now?

He had snapped, screaming profanities and put downs at Shay. He kicked her and hit her.Shay begged him to stop and calm down. He wouldn't listen. She barely made it out the front door with a backpack. She had managed to call someone to meet her at the end of the road. Walking as fast she could to the meeting point, she heard him yelling at her from the house. Then she heard the sound of a motor. Oh God! He was coming after her in the truck. She turned around and there he was racing toward her. She managed to jump out of the way. He just kept lingering and coming after her. Then on foot he came toward her," this was it", she thought. "I am going to die". He then saw her friend waiting for her. He became so enraged he drove his truck into the side of her vehicle. Shay was so scared. She didnt know where to go or what to do. She hid behind a neighbors house. She saw him drive back to the house. This was her chance. She got back out onto the road. Walking as fast as she could to find the nearest house with someone home. Hardly being able to breath or swallow, she kept looking behind her. Then headlights appeared. He was never going to stop till she was dead. She saw a house up a head. Shay tried to think fast, and judge the distance. Could she make it to the driveway in time before he could reach her? Was there going to be anyone home? Would they help or care? She started running, and there in the driveway was a man. She tried to yell for help, but her voice was weak. He saw her and said yes she could use the phone. She was safe!

Inside was his girlfriend and his mother. They were so kind. They took her in as if they had known her forever. They fed her, protected her, and talked her through what had happened. They gave her a warm bed, and helped her retrieve her belongings the next day. They even paid for the fuel to get her back to her home town. The kindness and love these people showed to a complete stranger was incredible. Shay said she couldn't thank them enough, and would pay them back for everything. They wouldnt hear of it. Her new found friends had only one thing to say, " Pay it forward". Shay promised she would. She made it safely home, and the once in a life time love she had waited for was taken to jail.

If this excerpt from my friends life sounds familiar seek help right away! There are people out there you can trust. There are kindhearted loving people still in this world that seems so full of hate. Remember no one deserves to be treated like Shay was. Weather it be verbal, emotional, physical or psychological abuse, no one should ever be subjected to that kind of treatment. No matter how much you love someone its not worth it to risk your own life. Stop the cycle, seek help. Please remember to also keep the cycle of love going. There just might be a "Shay" on your door step one day. Will you help her the way those kind people did for my friend? Will you "Pay it forward"? I know my friend will, because thats what this world should be about; Love, kindness, and trust. Not fear and hatred.

Please consider the following websites for more information what domestic violence is, and how you or a someone you know can seek the help they need. Also as a side note: may I recommend watching the movie "Pay it Forward". It is truly an amazing story that touched my heart.

http://www.idph.state.il.us/about/womenshealth/factsheets/dv.htm

http://www.safehorizon.org/index/get-help-8/for-domestic-violence-35.html?gclid=CJrBufy7_a0CFQVahwodpxzCtA

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