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Photo faux paux - female photos that fail

Updated on June 28, 2011

Guys are visual, even when they have substance

The photos women post online to lure in guys can be artistically displayed, but still are not to be mistaken for an art exhibit. They are much more like advertisements where you, as the advertiser, are trying to sell yourself through text (3%) and photos( 97% ) as either, some, or all of the following: lovers, friends, sex partner, or future spouse. So, don't sell your 'taste in art', sell, instead, a 'taste of you'...

So, explain to me, PLEASE, without telling me that guys do EQUALLY LAME things- because I AM SURE WE DO- how any of this accomplishes any of the objectives, above:

1) A mix of Old Photos with New Photos- Think of it this way....if you have a spectacular new photo mixed in with old and bad new photos, we are going to assume the good new one is old. How does this work in your favor??? Fortunately or unfortunately, we are all stuck in the present and need to see that represented exclusively...A year or two ago works, unless you gained or lost 40 lbs, etc. Five to twenty-five years ago, well....

2) Pictures of Pets-cute or otherwise. are you proving to me that you are worthy of animal adulation, at least? I love animals and have some as pets. Does that make you want to jump on my bones?? If your dog or cat is adorable, I can probably find the breed, and buy one myself, don't you think?

3) Landscapes, sunsets, tornadoes, snow-capped mountains.... With you in the scene, fine.. I get it. Without you as part of the photo....I don't get it....at all. Even if you have 8 photos, of which 4 are you and 4 are your favorite images/landscape shots in between, as if to tell a story with you a part of that story...I don't get it.

4) Mother/Daughter shots with undeniably attractive daughters- We all know guys are shallow and overly looks-conscious, so why are we asking for trouble here? Most of the guys I know have college age daughters or son's. They are constantly letting me know that they "can't take how hot the friends are". They cannot all be perverted. Let's have the first glimpse of the teenage/young adult daughter be offline, not online, please.

6) No Photo at all- There are all sorts of excuses, some extremely valid and justifiable, as to why either sex should choose to omit the photo submission altogether. It is a tough road to hoe. I don't recommend it. On the receiving end, I don't believe in hard and fast rules, so I've followed up with women bearing no image with her profile. The killer is- once you get the photos emailed special delivery- by your prospective date- you have usually established some type of rapport or at least an interest on the photoless initiators part. If I fail to respond at this point- the jury is out and it's just one thing- I am not attracted. If you are ok getting far less solicitations and opening yourself up to making it truly all about the photo- be my guest...and good luck with that.

7) One Photo Only- Same theory as lightning...it is not supposed to strike the same place twice. If you are sizzling, you need to show the magic at least two or three times. If you are not, by all means, optimize and stylize, show diversity and depth, etc....and the best way to do it is with a few different shots that show off both a diversity in your look and in your personality.

8) Photo-edited shots- Best not to overuse the Photoshop tools, unless you are so good at it, that the guy won't have a clue. If you are "good at it" all will ultimately be forgiven and it may be worth it- because unlike 20 year old photos- you can always say "it was the make-up"

9) Blurry, dark, tiny images... I know, you did not have any good ones, and this is the best you can do because you are not a model and not accustomed to taking photos of yourself, yada yada... Find a friend, possibly one that takes good pictures, and pose for a few... The way you see it online is the way it looks to the guy viewing it...

10) Primary Photos with Other Women/Ladies - Ummm...don't you want me to know which one is you right upfront???

11) And, of course, the old partially Xed out or not Xed out X... Can't we X 'em out altogether or is your audience to assume that you are looking for a Third or a Fight? Here is where the old crop tool can come in handy...don't waste the good photo of you...just erase the guy!!!!


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