ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Pick-up Lines Girls Never See Coming

Updated on June 9, 2016
kenneth avery profile image

Kenneth has been a member of HubPages for five years. He is retired from a 23-year career in the weekly newspaper business.

Source

Below dialogue is what is happening in above bar.

Guy: "Uhhh, say sweet thing. What's your sign?"

Girl: "Are you nuts?"

"I hate pick-up lines like: Can I guy you a drink?"
"I hate pick-up lines like: Can I guy you a drink?" | Source

Where we have been

Together, you and I have traveled down previous roads about "how to" and "how not to" pick up girls. I know that my feeble efforts in the past have not even scratched the surface of this sensitive issue, but I can live peacefully with knowing that I tried.

Today we are going to go down a completely different road. That is if you are a dare-devil at heart and like to live a bit dangerously. I do not think that any harm will come to you or your friends while we are embarking on another road with the sign that reads . . .

Pretty girls and respectful pick-up lines:

"Do you like to grow your own herbs and spices," will work with a girl like this
"Do you like to grow your own herbs and spices," will work with a girl like this | Source
"You look a lot like a world traveler. Would you share with me the places where you have been?" You can use this line if a girl is dressed like this
"You look a lot like a world traveler. Would you share with me the places where you have been?" You can use this line if a girl is dressed like this | Source
"Oh, you are a free spirit. I respect that." This is a safe line for you to use
"Oh, you are a free spirit. I respect that." This is a safe line for you to use | Source
"Have you went to Hawaii? I wish I had the bucks to go there." Unexpected conversation works most all of the time
"Have you went to Hawaii? I wish I had the bucks to go there." Unexpected conversation works most all of the time | Source
"I just want to sit and look at how gorgeous you are." I love this line
"I just want to sit and look at how gorgeous you are." I love this line | Source
"I am not into camping." This will tell a pretty girl like this "some" info about yourself
"I am not into camping." This will tell a pretty girl like this "some" info about yourself | Source
"I literally wish Playboy would go out of business." Say this with a straight face and watch the girl's reaction
"I literally wish Playboy would go out of business." Say this with a straight face and watch the girl's reaction | Source
"You look like a poet to me. Have you had any of your works published?" A very respectful line that compliments a girl's education
"You look like a poet to me. Have you had any of your works published?" A very respectful line that compliments a girl's education | Source
"Sure, I love quiet time. I just need someone to be quiet with me." Cute, but not too bold. Girls love this
"Sure, I love quiet time. I just need someone to be quiet with me." Cute, but not too bold. Girls love this | Source
"Is this your car? Wow, you sure make the big bucks." This line is good but do not let the owner of this car catch you leaning on it
"Is this your car? Wow, you sure make the big bucks." This line is good but do not let the owner of this car catch you leaning on it | Source

Pick-up Lines Girls Never See Coming From Guys

As a change of pace, let me preface the "meat" of this hub with a brief explanation. As pick-up lines go, they can range from "Hey, sweet thang. You are the 'sweet' in my tea," to "I am a Virgo and I like being a one-woman man." And these lines are usually made by terrified guys who frequent dim-lit bars for someone they trusted, another male who bills himself as a "rounder," told them that the best place to pick-up pretty girls is in a bar.

So these terrified guys use the lines that "Rounder Guy" gave them and you guessed it. The terrified guys "crash and burn" and always heading home half-buzzed and lonely.

That was before "these" lines were said by men who are just being themselves, but exhibiting a good amount of confidence.

  • "Oh, wow! I'd love to take you out to dinner in an affordable place then let you help me choose the right plants for my greenhouse."
  • "Would you mind terribly if I offered to buy you the next drink?"
  • "Miss, I am overwhelmed by your pretty face and I am in this bar for my very first time."
  • "Hello. I am so honored to meet you. Care to just sit and chat about things "you" like?"
  • "Oh, I love hot wings, but I am too nervous being around an attractive girl like you to eat them."
  • "May I take a wild guess at what your hobby was when you were a little girl?"
  • "Oh, I love flying kites and having a delicious lunch of health food."
  • "I am sorry that my staring at you made you uneasy, but I find your eyebrows so sexy."
  • "If you turn me down for going to dinner, I will not blame you for here I am in a bar and I do not even drink. What a dork, right?"
  • "I am sorry that I do not have any horses for you to ride."
  • "I know that I do not look anything like Steve McQueen, but "The Great Escape," is my favorite film."
  • "I am pleased to meet you. May I get all of the things about me out of the way? I do not fish, hunt, or go camping with buddies. I hate football, baseball and just tolerate basketball. I have a good job. Not a great job, but it has a nice pension. I live alone and my mother never calls."
  • "Please tell your girlfriends who are staring at me and acting like they are gagging themselves that I hold no ill will toward them for I am no Brad Pitt. Woody Allen, maybe."
  • "I would love for you to tell me a funny joke."
  • "I do not drink, but would you like to drive my new Volvo? I just remembered that I left my driver's license at home."
  • "I can tell you right away that Kid Rock is my favorite singer."
  • "Do I like limo rides with a pretty girl? What do you think?"
  • "May I bother you for a moment? Do you, by chance, spend a lot of time outdoors? I say that because you have such a nice tan."
  • "Mind if I tell the bartender to change channels? I hate that UFC stuff. Way too violent for me."
  • "Oh, how I wish that satellite television companies had a "Puppy and Kitten Channel."
  • "Oh, I would look at you when talking. I am just concerned that you might think that I am lusting after your cleavage."
  • "If you are wondering, I am not seeing anyone now, or anyone in the past two years."

And the Best Line of all . . .

"Would you mind just talking to me. I want to think that a pretty girl "might" be interested in me."

Good night, Concord, New Hampshire.

No, hold it!

For your further knowledge-gathering, I have a "Bonus Summation." I cannot believe that you did not see this coming. But here it is.

If any of you confident-but-humble guys decide to use any or most of the above lines to pick-up pretty girls, well you know and I know that the chances of you getting turned down are very good. But do not "throw in the towel," for the best is yet to come.

My advice: the end result

Okay, follow me on this. After a few girls turn you down when you use "my" refreshing pick-up lines, you know that girls love to talk about guys and who they are chasing or whom is chasing them. Well, the girls who you used these lines on will share your attempts to pick her up with her pretty friends. Upon hearing how you have a "good" job with a fine pension, and you do not smoke or drink and love to respect women, I would bet my 500-acre horse ranch in Lexington, Kentucky on this one if I owned one that the next trip you make to the bar where you were shut down, some or most of the girls' pretty friends will be there just waiting for you to try and pick them up.

And wa, la. Bim, bam, hello, Uncle Sam! You "hit one out of the park" by getting a date with a slender brunette with a charm that is to die for. Oh, you can call this luck. Or you can believe what you like, but I see this as a solution for your case of loneliness.

Now. Good night, again, Concord, New Hampshire.

Source

Dialogue that is about to happen in above photo:

Girl: "Excuse me, but I have lost my wallet and I do need a drink."

Guy: "Oh, I'm sorry. I am not a drinker, but I will be glad to buy you a glass of this bar's most-expensive wine."

© 2016 Kenneth Avery

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)