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Play It Cool To Get Her Back

Updated on December 28, 2016

Are You Reading It Right?

It's not impossible

Getting back with your ex-girlfriend might feel like it’s impossible right now, but let me assure you that it is actually quite doable as long as you have a good plan of action and you know exactly what you are doing. The fact of the matter is that you cannot afford to simply take a trial and error approach to getting your ex-girlfriend back while being oblivious and totally unmindful of the consequences of your actions. This is why I would suggest learning how to make use of lovemaps in order to get your ex back. You need to understand why and how people fall in love and how the subconscious criteria held by everyone called “the lovemap” can be utilized in order to induce feelings of love in someone for you.

Reverse Psychology is Super Effective!

In getting your ex-girlfriend back, one of the most significantly effective psychological techniques that you can and should make use of is what is known as reverse psychology. You might be slightly familiar with this type of psychology and the best illustration for how it works would be in say a coach who wants to motivate his athletes to do better. Instead of telling them how much he likes their performance, he might use reverse psychology by saying that he thinks they’re the lousiest bunch of losers he’s ever had the displeasure of coaching and that he hopes they lose in the 1st round of whichever competition they’re entering. This would spur on the athletes to do their very best in the competition and in training in order to prove their coach wrong.

The use of reverse psychology has the advantage of being a properly recognized and proven psychological technique – therefore, it is more likely to be effective than taking a shot in the dark at some random techniques that you find on the internet with no psychological basis whatsoever. Basically, you will be doing some things which will seem like the exact opposite of what you actually want to happen.

Understand that women tend to have egos that are just as large as men’s. Therefore, they also get insecure when men do not give them enough attention and they feel more powerful when they have men chasing at their feet. With this in mind, your ex is probably aware that you want to get back together with her – therefore, she is expecting you to become desperate and to resort to begging her to take you back; you do NOT want to give her this satisfaction.

Tips For Getting Her Back

Right now, if you try to get her back by approaching her directly and telling her how you feel, she will just assume that you are being an insincere liar and that you’re just trying to sway her with sweet words in order to get her back. What this does is that it simply feeds her ego while doing nothing to improve your standing with her in her mind. You must realize that she has already put up a psychological barrier against your advances and that you have to get past this barrier in order to convince her to take you back. This is where reverse psychology comes in and here are some tips on how you can do this:

  • Act nonchalant: Do not let on that you are really dying to get back together with her. If you play it cool and act like it’s not such a big deal to you whether she takes you back or not, then she will become confused as to how you really feel about her and your past relationship together. This will in turn make her worried that she might be losing her control over you – and this is exactly what you want to happen.
  • Treat her well: While you want to act cool, don’t interpret this as a sign that you can just be a jerk and your ex will be fine with it. Treat her well and be nice to her, but again, don’t let on just how eager you are to get back together with her. You have to learn how to be nice to her while still being nonchalant about the whole issue of the breakup and getting back together.
  • Cut off communications with her: You will need to do this for a limited period of three weeks since the breakup. What you have to do is to basically stop contacting her via email, text, skype, social media or anywhere else in real life. Do not make yourself readily available for her and ready to do her bidding on a moment’s notice. She has to know that you have a life as well – and it does not necessarily have to include her.
  • Keep yourself busy: Try to use the time away from your ex to better yourself as a person. Try to engage in some meaningful hobbies, get in touch with old friends and family, and basically, reward yourself with whatever life has to offer in your favor.

By keeping yourself busy and basically acting cool about the breakup, you will be implementing a confusing kind of reverse psychology on your ex-girlfriend, which will make her curious about you. Naturally, since you are playing some mind games on her here, you have to know when enough is enough and that it’s time to confess your true feelings to her. If you time it right, then you will have a good chance of getting back together with her, but if you wait a little bit too long, then she might already have moved on with her life and begun a new, serious relationship with someone else.


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    • John Alex Clark profile imageAUTHOR

      John Alex Clark 

      4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      I actually agree. However, I do like to give people a choice. If they really feel that they want to get back together with their ex, then I'm here to help them out. If they want to get OVER a past relationship, then I'm here to help as well.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      4 years ago

      "It's not impossible" - Very true! But why would you want to?

      Unless two people have become different people they're likely to end up with the same results. An ex is an ex for a reason and it's usually a good reason! There are over 7 billion people in the world!

      In order for her to be "the one" she would have to see you as being "the one"! At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who actually (wants) to be with you! There should be no strategy required to be loved back.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

      Oftentimes people will "romanticize past relationships" when they are lonely or having a difficult time adjusting to dating again. The safest thing to do is go back to what you know. It takes courage to move on.

      Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you.

      One man's opinion! :)


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