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Polyamory: The New Relationship Dynamic

Updated on January 23, 2018

Since the dawning of time, the world has accepting of only one relationship style, that of one man and one woman. This has been ingrained into our society for thousands of years, up until recently. in the early 1920's people started to express their sexual attraction to those of the same sex. Once men and women started to express their sexual preferences, society acted repulsively. Then towards the early 2000's, others started to express themselves as wanting to be the opposite gender of what they were born as. society didn't receive that news very well either.

Today, as of 2015, same-sex couples are allowed to legally marry in the U.S . Same-sex couples can adopt children in all 50 states. Those who are trans-gender can now get a sex change operation that allows them to be the gender that they feel they are meant to be. Now, there has been another shift in relationship choices and that is polyamory.

What is Polyamory...

Polyamory by definition means to love many or more specifically to have more than one romantic relationship simultaneously and happens between consenting adults over 18 years of age. There are many misunderstandings about polyamory as most people have only heard of polygamy which has the same principles of a man having more than one woman but polygamy is based on the old Mormon religion.

Society was also introduced to polygamy through the cult that Rhuelon Jeffs created. This was based on the old Mormon teachings but yet was also misguided in that women were taught about sex way too early and they were never taught about their bodies either. they were groomed for the church which not only included what was expected of them as a polygamist wife but also how to pleasure their husband. This meant that they were touched inappropriately as early as 12 years old. They weren't allowed to choose a different path either.

Former FLDS Wife's Encounter

Now polyamory does share the same set up as polygamy where a man has more than one woman, however, in polyamory, consent between each person is of high priority as well as a high level of commitment between a man and each of his partners individually and then there's a high level of commitment to the family overall.


Communication in the lifestyle is vital in order for a poly dynamic to work successfully. It is very important. Everyone in the dynamic needs to be able to express their feelings and concerns openly without judgment. They should feel a sense of safety with their partner and partner's partners.


This is probably a burning topic for most people as many make the assumption that polyamory is a sexual free for all, which it isn't. Sex in a poly dynamic can be just as romantic, just as respected and just as sacred as sex for a monogamous couple. sex is vital to any romantic relationship and being polyamorous doesn't change this.

Safety in the bedroom is a very high priority as partners strive to keep each other healthy. So condoms and birth control are often discussed among the partners before a sexual relationship begins.


The Dynamic Itself

A poly dynamic can take many forms, it's not always a man with many women and the women are only intimate with him. Sometimes a man can have two women who are not only intimate with him but may also may be intimate with each other or one woman may have another man in addition to her boyfriend while the other woman is intimate with just the one.Let me give a few examples:

1.Jeff, Mary and Jill are a triad. Jeff is intimate with both Mary and Jill, but Mary and Jill are not intimate with each other.

2. Mike, Joan and Emily are a triad. Mike is intimate with both women and Joan and Emily are also intimate.

3. Alan, Tracy, Cody and Amelia are a quad. Alan is intimate with both women but not Cody, Cody is only intimate with Tracy. Amelia and Tracy are intimate.

As per these examples, the dynamic itself can play out a ton of different ways.No matter the choice in dynamic though, everyone is healthy and happy.

© 2018 Kirstie


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      12 months ago

      "Since the dawning of time, the world has accepting of only one relationship style, that of one man and one woman."

      According to the bible King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines! King David and others had several wives.

      In fact many religions in the past and some still do condone a (man) having multiple wives.

      Very few people in society have been open to the idea of a (woman) having multiple husbands or lovers living under the same roof or even in a polyamory relationship with multiple men.

      Can you imagine a woman with 700 husbands and 300 "boy toys" being viewed as natural in any era?

      I suspect one of the reasons is because (men) are very territorial when it comes to women (they care about).

      In fact it's probably fair to say (most people) who are "in love" have a sense of "ownership" when it comes to their mate.

      The introduction always begins with:

      This (my) girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband....etc

      Monogamy and polyamory are lifestyle choices.

      The primary reason why polyamory will never be as popular as monogamy practiced by a couple is because most people really don't want to (share) someone they "love" with anyone else sexually. Jealousy is here to stay.


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