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Postmodern Relationships: The Evolving Roles of a Man

Updated on June 11, 2017
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Relationships are tricky and more so in this postmodern times of social media and virtual reality. Information today travels much faster and reach, much easier. This has added new complications to ideas like relationships that have historically been deemed difficult to fathom. Changing social ideas also contribute to changes in perception further. Besides, the fluidity of gender-specific traits and the recognition of it among men and women in the new world have surely made things more real today, but harder for observers to categorise and separate traits of men from women always. The new generation of men and women have begun to realise that there are no watertight compartments anymore when it comes to how a man or woman may behave in a particular situation. And, when I use the term fluid here, I only mean traits and ideas with which men and women think or approach life and relations today and not their sexual orientation ( which can bring in a new and exciting dimension to the existing discussion). The point I am trying to drive in here is that many heterosexual women today think, live, and love like men and vice versa. Many men today split house chores and take care of their children as their female partners go to work- thus, positively contributing towards the breaks created around the stereotypes of historically and socially assigned gender roles and traits. The old school Men’s perspective and place in a relation, both are changing fast and this article looks at the new trends that are emerging out of it.

  • Attraction: It is difficult to pin down on the laws of attraction. While Men have always been associated with recklessness and fidgets, when it comes to relations, it is true for many women as well. However, Men are more susceptible to attention compared to women who are usually used to it.
  • Communication: There are talkers and then there are those who talk with their eyes. In many cases, postmodern men can communicate their feelings as expressively as a postmodern woman. It varies among people in general, across genders. However, the need for communication is something the postmodern man strives for.One must adapt to keep up with changing relationship goals and expectations. Communication often helps in this regard
  • Sex: The postmodern man participates in sex as an equal, knowing that he is just one part of the whole experience and cannot take his partner for granted. He has to make equal efforts to ensure both of them feel an equally pleasurable experience.New-age men do not view sex as a way to ensure continual evolution anymore. Rather it is about having fun while keeping it intense. A perfect recipe for great sex is being adventurous, more so in a society where sex is not only considered taboo, but also anxiety-inducing.
  • Social perception: While showing off is commonly perceived as more of a female trait, men too, are not behind. Postmodern men are not always brutally honest when it comes to creating a public identity and rapport. Most of them are as controlling as their female counterparts, only that, it may be a little less on their face. Social media profiles and profile photos are a good example. Further, society has its own expectations from a relationship. And yes, relationships and societal perception do not always see eye-to-eye. No longer do we see strict codes of conduct in relationships. So much for the Victorian repressed morality!
  • Success and failure: Anger and Jealousy are animal traits and most men have them. Both feed on a man’s pride. In these times, when both men and women in a relation have equal opportunity to carry on their life goals, pride and jealousy within couples from each other’s achievement can ruin relationships
  • Insecurity: Even the most confident and suave man around is sometimes insecure because of the expectations the new world has created around them. Most men usually look for the support of their female friends and partners when they feel unsure. From professional failures to nervy familial spats, men usually lean on their partners to get through worries
  • Honesty: It is a tough nut to crack for both men and women. Even the most committed men may fail his partner and vice versa. To be a postmodern man is to respect the idea of consent and understand that consent is more important than the socially constructed morality assigned against promiscuity. Honesty is often a loaded and subjective term. The rules of what is considered honest, therefore, have seen a huge shift. What one person considers as being dishonest, may unfaze another person. We do appreciate honesty, but we can take it or leave it.
  • Space: Space is very important in postmodern relationships. In fact, it is a hallmark of how the new relationships have evolved over time. Being independent, financially and otherwise, is a great asset. One needs to have a life beyond his spouse. It keeps the relationship interesting and you have stories to share with each other.In fact, space could be a vital insurance against boredom

The dawn of social media has simultaneously complicated, as well as, eased relationship goals. Men and women today are surer of what they want in relationships. Gone are the days when men were supposed to be stoic, and women, emotional. Gender roles have, therefore, become fluid. Men and women are of various kinds. A generalisation and assigning fixed gender roles hence is difficult. However, these are a few basic components that acquaint us with today's informed and heart-headed Men, and how they approach life and relationships.

© 2017 Aimee S

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 months ago

      I believe it's easy for us to get caught up in "gender wars" or "changing expectations". However the reality is finding the "right mate" for oneself is really about finding a person who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another. Compatibility trumps compromise!

      The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.

      Thankfully we live on a planet with over (7 Billion) people!

      There will always be some "traditionalist" and "progressive" women and men. Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself.

      Odds are there's thousands if not millions who agree with you!

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Choose wisely!

      One man's opinion! :)