- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
Pray Your Daughter Never Dates A guy Like You
Ever wondered if you are a good man ? Would you be a good husband figure for your daughter? Can you accept your son-in-law to be your mirror image?
My hub is not to ridicule or judge any man .. but just a question that has been in my mind all the time for a long time. Doing some research on it made me wanting to share my opinion
The first man in my life, he was a good man when it came to the children (son and daughter alike) . But was he a good husband? Probably not because my mother was and is not happy, she was abused verbally and physically.
Why? well they had difference of opinion in almost everything. They have been together for more then 50 years now, just for the family and not for themselves.
My father was never .. I will stress NEVER and abusive father, he never raised his hands on us for anything. He spent a lot of money for our education, to give us a good future in life.
His abusive act towards my mother reduced once the girls in the family were matured enough to understand life, so we never really witnessed much. My only memory of his violence was when I was 9. Probably my elder siblings would have witnessed more.
Anything you hate in your Son In Law
Just wondering what reaction i could get from most man, lets just see ..
- A violent man ~ who hits your daughter
- An abusive man ~ who is verbally and physically abusive
- An alcoholic man ~ who can turn violent and abusive
- A drug addict ~ who can turn violent and abusive, some can not hold a job too.
- A selfish man ~ who denies everything your daughter wants
- A stingy man ~ who does not buy gifts or valuable things (goes for TOO cheap food, TO cheap cloths)
- Mental abusers ~ how about those who mentally abuse your daughter
A Fathers view of a Perfect Son In Law
So what type of husband does a father dream for his daughter, other then being not like the above stated few
A person who :
- does not neglect his duties and responsibilities
- respects his wife (your daughter) and her family
- can accept your daughter as she is, her desires and her dreams
- believes in gender equality, shares home making decisions and duties
- is affectionate, just like the days of courting
- does not mess up, and cares for her and only her and family
- does not lie, cheat or betray and break her tiny heart
- care for her well-being
- meet her needs and thoughtful of her emotions
this is actually a long list and does not end here as fathers want everything of the best for their daughters ..
Just a reminder, in some cases we do have woman who are abusive towards their partner and children. Many times when an issue of domestic violence is raised people always assume it as one way .. Man towards woman .
Some rebellious woman mistakenly takes the path of being the abuser themselves. As this hub is more on man and son-in-law, we will just look into this in another discussion I will start soon.
There are very few people who are going to look into the mirror and say, 'That person I see is a savage monster;' instead, they make up some construction that justifies what they do.
(http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes)— Noam Chomsky
Mirror ... Mirror .. On the wall
Are fathers ready to accept the reflection they see in the mirror or still be in denial.
Have they been a good husband to the wife ? Have they been the same person they expect their son in law to be .. ?
Do fathers realize that their son in law could be the reflection of themselves, and be the husband like they have been to their wife.
Everything starts from home ..
It is time for parents especially father to actually start thinking of raising a son who would be a good husband. 'Lead by example' would be the best approach. Show our sons how to act towards the family.
- Show and care for the family
- Take responsibilities and Be truthful
- Show love and affectionate to everyone in the family
- Encourage healthy dialogues with all
- Be an inspiration to your children