Organize A Mummy Shower

Beyoncé announced that she is pregnant again in this year of the lord 2017. Her friends Kelly Rowland and Serena Williams might organise a little baby shower.

But honestly, baby showers are great fun for pregnant women and their friends, but the focus is on the little person that will soon arrive after nine months in mummy's tummy.

How about flipping the script and have a pregnant mummy shower, where friends and family will buy things she will need after birth?

Mother's Day is celebrated all over the world, but the missing link is the pregnant woman. There can be no Mother's Day without brave women who got pregnant and had kids.

Therefore, pregnant women should be made to feel good through pregnant mummy showers.

Babies born on the 25th of December like Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada will make headlines in print and electronic media the following day.

The end of the year is a time of celebration and a lot rushing about. Pregnant women who are due in December have a heavier 'kicking' load to think about.

It is therefore a good idea to have 'mummy showers' where the focus is on them, not the expected bundles of joy. How about combining them with baby showers?

The whole idea is to make pregnant women feel good, appreciated, as the people who give birth to generations and generations.

A baby shower celebrates the little person who will be joining the family. Revenue Canada pretends to be impartial but don't let that fool you. It is very happy that a new taxpayer is on the way.

The expected little mite is showered with gifts and family members boast that they will be uncles, aunts and grandparents. In some cultures, a godmother is chosen. That is a new concept for most of Africa, because tradition takes care of that.

There was no godmother because the little baby has ‘small or big mothers’, sisters of its mother. It also has ‘small and big fathers’ brothers of its father.

All the excitement about the baby pushes the mother to the sidelines, the person will be doing all the hard work. It won’t be a bad idea to buy gifts for her which will be presented at the baby shower.

Better still, tradition can be broken. Friends and family can organize a ‘mummy shower’ where it will be just her gifts.

A lot has been written about how pregnant women feel before and after birth, but we will never know the whole story because most women don’t talk about it.

Anxiety. This is most acute in societies that want to play god and demand male children.

The body. The little life inside the womb makes drastic changes to a woman’s body that could be corrected after birth. It is also possible that those changes become permanent and lead to the erosion of self-esteem.

Women in southern Africa used to go back home to their mothers to have their first child. Mothers advised their daughters how to get back their flat tummy, how to breastfeed, how to read the baby's needs, everything. Urbanisation changed most of that.

It is for these reasons why the mother should also be appreciated for getting pregnant, and for giving the family a bundle of joy that eats and sleeps most of the time.

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The baby shower coordinator is the ideal person to be the mummy shower event manager because she knows most of the pregnant woman’s family and friends.

The event coordinator can call a secret meeting, with the boyfriend or husband in attendance to broach the subject of a mummy shower. He will have helpful suggestions because he is closer to the source.

• What is the general feeling?
• Should we combine the two showers or have a separate mummy shower?

The event coordinator should write down what friends and family will buy for the new mummy. The husband or boyfriend will advise the group about colour. What is her favourite colour?

Also arrange for a fun video to watch for the mummy shower.

There are certain things that cannot be gift-wrapped. The new mummy will be tired after birth. She might be overjoyed that she made it and that her child has all the ten fingers and toes. She can also be depressed by all the extras her child left on her body.

1. Taking care of her hair and make-up is one gift that cannot be gift-wrapped. The event coordinator must source people who will be willing to take the pregnant lady to the beauty parlour a few days before the delivery.

2. Doctors can estimate the time when the baby will knock on the door, but that might not work because nature runs on its own clock. Be that as it may, the pregnant lady should not worry about grey hair when it is show time.

3. Hair and make-up is also crucial after birth because all you people have cell phones and will be taking photos of a woman who is tired and not looking her best. A hairdresser should be dispatched to clinic after the baby is born. This will depend on the clinic or hospital where she is. Money also talks. Anything is possible if she is in a private clinic or room.

The new mummy will be breast feeding so, she needs as many feeding bras as possible. This might be tricky because the breasts will be bigger once the baby is born.

Anyway, it is such details that should be taken into consideration when planning a mummy shower. The event coordinator should write down who will be buying the following:

• Button-down cotton and silk shirts which will make it easier for her to breast feed.

• Clever Capri pants that will discipline extra fat around the waist.

• Who will buy traditional clothes that will make her beautiful, if culture and religion do not allow Capri pants?

• Clever head scarves that will hide rude grey hair until she finds time to go to a salon.

• The family member who will tweeze her eyebrows and apply light make-up before the cell phone carrying members arrive.

• Gifts for the new mummy should also include ‘future’ clothes, that will inspire her to regain her previous weight or accommodate a size or two. Not all mothers have resources like Kimora Lee Simmons, Beyonce, Kate Middleton or Kelly Rowlands that put the clock back to their previous weight.

The woman’s weight gain or appearance was never an issue in traditional Africa because most men had more than one wife.

Women also had their own homes within polygamous compounds. They had their own huts where they had autonomy. The husband came to visit, or the wives were invited to stay over in the husband’s residence.

Culture therefore, gave pregnant women enough time ‘to heal’ after birth without worrying about the man’s needs.

That was then. The reality is that most women in Africa and other countries do not live in extended families, which leaves the woman more insecure about her physical state after birth.