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Preparing Yourself For A Relationship

Updated on August 14, 2015

Are You Prepared For Love?

Many persons have approached me for help in finding that special person with whom they share their lives and dreams. Often, after a brief interview and assessment, I realize some are not prepared for a relationship and love.

What about you? Are you prepared for relationship and love?

Preparing for love is not as easy as it seems, especially after past failed relationships and being alone for a while. It is a hard journey of self-discovery, character building, and awareness.

If you are trying to find love, here are some ways to prepare yourself:

1. Do a Self-Introspection

Have a honest conversation with yourself. Look back at your past relationships to see if there are common patterns and if you have contributed to its demise. This is important, otherwise you will fall into the same old patterns and continue to make the same mistakes, resulting in the same results - hurt and pain. What are your feelings toward love? Know what type of persons attract you and why.

2. Eliminating Emotional Baggage

Get rid of the emotional baggage sapping your energy. Emotional baggage is all the negative experiences you’ve accumulated in relationships (romantic and otherwise) that you bring with you throughout life. Accept your part of the responsibility. Get the closure you need. Honour your past relationship. Before you can move on to bigger and better pastures, you must take responsibility, forgive old trespassers, and most importantly forgive and accept yourself.

This may not be easy to do on your own and you may need to seek help from a trained counselor.

3. Pay Attention to Your Emotions and Triggers.

Learn to recognize the signs your body gives when you’re starting to experience an emotion. This helps you figure out your triggers. The stronger your responses, the more likely it is you are dealing with a hot issue that may provide some problems in a new relationship. You may need to seek professional help to assist in managing your emotions.

4. Know What You Want

If you’re not sure what you want in a partner, you’ll choose anyone who comes along. Be specific and confident in your choices. Visualize this person walking towards you when you wake up, when you are brushing your teeth, and when you lay down to sleep. Pray and ask God and you shall receive.

5. Prepare Yourself Physically

Persons sometimes physically “let themselves go” when they are alone for a while. Here are some tips to make you look healthier and physically attractive:

  • Lose some weight to get rid of unattractive flabs
  • Exfoliate the skin to get rid of dead cells and calluses
  • Do a manicure and pedicure
  • Visit the dentist to clean and get rid of caries which may cause bad breath
  • Do a colon cleanse to get rid of bloating and gas
  • Visit the doctor to do a physical and to test for infections
  • Visit the beauty salon/barber
  • Manscape. Lighten the thick ‘forest’ in the pubic areas (crotch and inside of thighs). Get rid of unattractive hair from the face, earlobes, nostrils, and chest

Doing these will help to boost confidence.


6. Put Yourself Out There

You certainly won’t find your lover in your living room! You must go out to socialize at the places that you enjoy going as this increases your chances of finding someone who shares the same interests as you. Put yourself out there as much as possible, whether physically or using the services of a matchmaker.

7. Be Patient

All good things come to those who wait. Keep your hope alive at every minute. When hope starts to fade, return to step four, visualize your new love walking toward you and repeat. It helps.

By following these steps, you will open yourself to love. Additionally, you will also sharpen your character, build confidence, discover your wants and desires as well as heightened self- awareness.

Now, go get yourself prepared for love!

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