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President Obama, Men & The Dangers Of Complimenting Women

Updated on April 11, 2013

“No man is as anti-feminist as a really feminine woman.”

--Frank O’Connor

As I have said in previous postings, I am a proud male chauvinist…in the traditional sense. I believe in the strength of traditional heterosexual two-parent households (yeah, I know it’s not what it used to be), I believe that men were meant to be the natural head and chief decision-maker—with his spouse as co-counsel, and I believe that women are in fact the fairer sex (and were not meant to do everything that a man does). And as a caveat to proto-, traditional, and neo-feminists who might find that “offensive,” please don’t bother responding with catcalls of caveman, behind-the-times, or pig; I assure you that such judgments will not change my perspectives so please put away your keyboards.

I also believe that there is a great deal of social relevancy in the title of that book, “Men are from Mars, Women Are Venus” as it relates to the differences in men and women; we might as well be from two different planets. We handle and experience things differently. Women want romance, men want loyalty. Men learn to work the toilet seat, women complain our knowing how. And women tend to build an entire universe of thought about a notion or idea that a man wouldn’t even acknowledge as being relevant. Take for example the recent flack about an offhand remark that President Obama about California attorney general Kamala Harris.

Harris, a friend of the president, was present at a Democratic Party fundraiser recently when she was introduced Obama (along with other elected officials). During the president’s introduction of Harris, he described her as “brilliant,” “dedicated,” and “by far, the most best looking attorney general in the country.” The response from hair-touch-sensitive feminists and self-appointed guardians “gender equality” was swift and—by the thinking of most male standards—condemning. The president was tarred and feathered in opinion posts and online as being “insensitive” and reinforcing “stereotypical male attitudes” of judging a woman by her looks rather than acknowledging her professional accomplishments (which I thought he had done…”brilliant,” “dedicated,”, etc.).

Being a public official, the president was pressured to call Harris and apologize for (believe it or not) calling her “the best looking attorney general in the country.” My response as I watched this insanity unfold was, Are you ******* serious? The president of the United States—the highest profile male in the country—has to apologize to an acknowledged friend, supporter, and obviously accomplished woman for complimenting her?

We men know that, on the threat of being drawn-and-quartered by the PC police, that we have to censor ourselves in the presence of women--especially in the workplace. But such insanity is why men tend not to take feminism seriously. This “outrage” is literally taking a pimple of a non-issue and turning it into a Dolly Parton-sized breast. Where was the supposed “offense?” Have feminists become so sensitive to anything a man potentially says that he can’t even make an innocent remark, give her a compliment without her taking it as an affront to “gender sensitivity?” Of course they have!

And as with any level of indoctrination, the double-standards are totally ignored. Anyone who has a capacity for thinking beyond retardation knows that it’s a part of Obama’s personality to routinely introduce others, especially familiars, with the same type of compliment—both male and females. Consider the president’s remarks about Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar’s from last March:

“A couple people I want to thank for their outstanding work. First of all, our Interior Secretary, Ken Salazar, is in the house. He’s the guy in the nice-looking hat. Not only does it look good, but it protects his head, because the hair has gotten a little thin up there. He is a good-looking guy.” In much the same way that we don’t complain about toilet seats, male activists didn’t take it offensively (what male activists?).

We just accepted it as a compliment and opted not take it as an out-and-out stab to the heart of our gender identity. And in similar fashion, we continued to turn a blind eye when the president dared to compliment other men:

On Sept. 10, 2009, Obama said of the world champion Pittsburgh Penguins: “I have to say all of you look pretty good without your playoff beards. They’re pretty good-looking guys without all that.”

On Feb. 1, 2012, Obama said of Shaun Donovan: “There he is, the good-looking guy in the front here.”

During these instances when the president was “offending” males, feminists were as absent from their soapboxes as men are from reality when women tell us, “You should know what I’m talking about...” Their logic is based on the premise that taking notice of a woman’s physical appearance—even in a positive way—takes away from her accomplishments. In typical irrational fashion, these feminists have formulated a level of logic that’s devoid of such, implying that complimenting a man about his looks is not insult, but complimenting a woman is. This is to say that feminist feel that the accomplishments of women are undermined by men who have trouble focusing on anything beyond (their) physical attractiveness. In essence, we men can neither compliment nor ignore women for fear of showing either “insensitivity” or “bias.”

I offer the following solution to my fellow man trapped in this no-win, damned-if-we-do-damned-if-we-don’t conundrum. I say that we men should treat women in the workplace as androgynous sex-neuters. Ignore complaints, condemnations, assessments, and especially compliments when addressing a woman. Just ignore any behavior that could be even remotely related to an acknowledgement of their gender. That includes helping them with heavy objects, opening doors, holding elevators, and walking them to their cars during those late night demands for overtime at the office. In every way, we should ignore the feminine aspect of their presence and do the same things we have no problem doing around other men. That means farting around them and acknowledging it with a nod, scratching our various itches in non-discreet manners, and giving them practical gifts during the Christmas office party gift exchanges. Let’s just opt from this point on to treat women in the workplace like fellow work-related assets and see if it result in a chorus of “I Am Woman” as they attempt to convince us that they are in fact different.

See also: "A Nation of Whiners"

Is Complimenting An Accomplished Woman On Her Appearance...?

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    • Beyond-Politics profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from The Known Universe (

      Thank you. My point is that people/women have become so "sensitive" that anyone can say anything to anybody at anytime and "offend" them. I think the late Bernie Mac said it best during one of his stand-up routines: "Stop all that damn cryin' and so some push-ups or something.'" ;)

    • Darkproxy profile image


      5 years ago from Ohio

      Oh this is wonderful my friend keep it up.

    • DexisView profile image


      5 years ago from New England

      There are always those looking for ways to stir up the pot...politcally and otherwise. Look, it certainly caught your attention and inspired a hub ;) that a wink?!?! Most (and I truly mean most) professional men and women know what kind of compliments are crossing the line and which are appropriate. I would be flattered if the President referred to me as the most attractive woman in my field! I enjoyed this fun read!


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