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Presidential Candidates 2016: What Type of Lovers and Husbands Are They?

Updated on February 14, 2016

Imagine Politicians In Other Positions

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays designated—to remind us of those we love and appreciate the most. It might be difficult to imagine politicians in positions that don’t involve campaign ads and political promises. Here’s a shocking revelation—for a moment let’s consider the electoral candidates as lovers and husbands. The following information is a playful romance analysis of the men running for Chief Executive Office of The United States.

1. What type of lover and husband is Chris Christie? Because of Christie’s attentiveness it is likely that his wife Mary could not get away with any secret shopping sprees. Christie—is that! Wait is— that a new dress type of guy? It’s probable that he notices Mary’s hair color and slight highlight changes.

A gentle giant and a protector he’s very sentimental and can be emotional when it comes to love of his life. Christie is that rose pedals on the bed—type guy. He’s the guy that runs a bubble bath and lights a candle. He may occasionally forget to put down the toilet seat—but when it happens he is very apologetic.

2. What type of lover and husband is Marco Rubio? It’s likely he’s the guy that doesn’t have a problem telling his wife Jeanette during dinner—that she should consider controlling her food portions. He may have brass balls enough to tell her to skip dessert. Aside from that, he’s not a good listener and is a control freak. To make matters worse—he is a finish first type-of-guy.

The one that rolls over and falls asleep after intimacy—not realizing the other person didn’t come close to finish line. In addition, he’d be the guy in a locked office with his computer—use your imagination. He’s a leave the toilet seat-up and forget to take out the trash type guy.

3. What type of lover and husband is Jeb Bush? He is that thoughtful guy that is open to new ideas—but doesn’t have many of his own. He’s the, honey where would you like to go for dinner tonight type guy. Often deep in thought—he likes to avoid arguments. He’s not a leave the toilet seat up type of guy because not only is he thoughtful—he’s respectful of others. He also makes sure the trash is taken out—even though he may not do it himself.

4. What type of lover and husband is Ben Carson? He’s a play by the book—where’s my calendar type guy. He’s on schedule and very routine oriented. There’s a lot of planning, less excitement, and a lot of predictability. Not to mention he is likely that same-position-sex type guy. If something new happens in the bedroom it’s because he did a lot of research. Keep in mind that people often spend years researching—while their projects go unfinished.

5. What type of lover and husband is Bernie Sanders? He’s the—I suppose I should take her out to dinner tonight type of guy. He's likely the guy that receives friendly reminders of occasions by chance--in line at the grocery. Thank God the candy is located at the register. It’s not that he’s not a good husband—he’s just somewhat indifferent when it comes to romance. However, he makes up for his near mishaps.

6. What type of lover and husband is Ted Cruz? He’s the guy that needs affirmations from his spouse more than most. He’s very needy and demands attention. He’s okay making his lover late for an event or scheduled appointment because it’s all about him. He’s one of those guys who prolongs an intimate finale without consideration.

He likely has tantrums to get his way. He doesn’t have to think about the toilet seat—he’s well trained at putting it down. However, he reminds everyone of all the good things he does—keeping tabulations to use for guilt trips later.

7. What type of lover and husband is Donald Trump? He’s a shark in business—but he’s milk toast at home. He’s a pleaser—very spontaneous and accommodating to his wife. He most certainly does not leave the toilet seat up. Besides it’s likely that he doesn’t share a bathroom with his wife.

Trump likely wants his wife to be in control and this includes intimacy. Almost like the dominatrix with the heels and whip in hand. Visualize this—Trump might appear to be that poker face type guy in public—but at home he never wins a starring contest.

For those who took time to read this article, thank you.Remember this article was written for entertainment purposes only. If readers are wondering why Hillary Clinton isn’t mentioned—it’s because this playful analysis is about the men running for president. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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