Pros and Cons of Sex Before Marriage
An activity between Consenting Adults
There are many pros and cons to sex before marriage. As individuals we all have our own cultural and social believes that we must uphold. This article is more of overall advice with no religious, cultural or social standard. Sex before marriage is a sticky subject (no pun intended) and I will do my best to help the reader sort through the mess that today's society has created.
Sex, in general, should be a very private and special moment, no matter who we are or from where we come from. Sex should also be an activity between CONSENTING ADULTS. I highlight those two words because of anything other than consenting can be considered rape, child sex abuse or anything else that can harm another person. I also state adults because of the risks both mentally and physically that are associated with sex. It should also be noted that the writer is not here to judge what type of sex those involved are having. Every human being has a right to practice sex in whichever manner they desire.
There are many cons to sex before marriage. The following are just some examples of these so-called cons.
The first one is the whole "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". This was an old passage for the young ladies that taught them that most guys wouldn't marry the girls that would give it up before marriage. This not necessarily true in society in general, however, the stigma for women is still there in society's mind. As a guy, this writer can say that many of the girls that gave it up to me on the first date were never kept for too long and many more became what we call "booty calls". I am not proud today about these actions but I was also younger and dumber when these actions occurred. Guys, shouldn't feel privileged. This passage also applies to them. Many guys have had their heart broken by their first sexual partner. No one is safe from having their heart broken once or twice in their life.
The next con, of course, diseases. STDs (Sexually Transmitted Disease) can range from AIDS to genital warts with some of them carrying a death sentence. "In the United States: According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there are between 800,000 and 900,000 people living with HIV. Through December 2000, a total of 774,467 cases of AIDS have been reported to the CDC; of this number, 448,060 persons (representing 58% of cases) have died." (www.AIDS.org) AIDS or HIV can be contracted in many ways. Nonetheless, sexual activity is the best-known manner to get it. During sex of any kind, this disease can be transmitted through blood (from the tiny abrasions that occur during sex), semen, and vaginal secretions. This is not the only disease but it is the deadliest disease associated with sexual activity. No matter what if one is going to have sex please practice safe sex.
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The last but not the least con is unwanted pregnancies. Many couples today forget that with great sex comes great responsibility (just trying to lighten the mood). "Approximately one-third of the 6.4 million pregnancies in 2001 (the most recent year for which adequate data are available) in the United States were unwanted." (http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/resources/pdf/FactSheet-Overview.pdf) That is approximately 2.13 million pregnancies in which most end up in abortions. Abortions are a very sensitive subject and even if we support it, the mental anguish and guilt associated with it can lead major mental health issues for the women that must go through the process. Most of these unwanted pregnancies are found in teenage and unwed women who were not educated or did not practice safe sex. An unwanted pregnancy can and has destroyed many families and couples. This is not a scenario that many people want to find themselves in this situation and it should be taken into account when planning to have sex prior to marriage.
Now is time to provide the beautiful pros for premarital sex. The first is my version of "you can't buy a car without test driving it first." What is meant buy this is that marriage should be viewed as a commitment that a person makes for life. It is not another form of dating. Many in olden times had to uphold a standard and so they married before having sex. It turns out that many of those folk were unhappy with their sex live and this led many to divorce or have affairs. Sexual satisfaction is just as important as financial security in a marriage. To be sure that the marriage will have a chance at longevity a person should probably participate in some safe sex prior to marriage.
There a many people that will state that according to the Bible or in Gods eyes sex before marriage is unholy or even sinful. However, "There is no prohibition found anywhere in the Bible concerning sex between two unmarried adults while there are ample passages that presuppose it and imply that it is perfectly fine with God." (T.Simmons on www.ExChristian.com)
Another pro for sex before marriage is the intimacy that it leads to before marriage. Many couples who get married before having sex have no inkling of what satisfies their partner in bed. The first experience with a new partner no matter how experienced a person is, is always the most uncomfortable. Now, let's imagine this first time is a persons honeymoon. This can lead many to feel uneasy and inadequate on what is supposed to be the most beautiful night of their lives. Why not get the jitters out of the way prior to this night and enjoy the honeymoon.
There are many other pros and cons for sex before marriage but the list is way too long to be able to write it all in this essay. The best way to make the move to this milestone in life is to stay informed and educated on the matter. No one person should ever do this on a pulse because this is where sex can lead to disaster. A person should be old enough and smart enough to decide for themselves what path they decide to take. No one should interfere or push a person to make a hasty or irrational decision. We must remember that ultimately we are the only ones responsible for our own bodies. So please be smart and if you want to have sex, be responsible and practice safe sex. Remember, the decision is always ours to make so no matter what I or others say, make your decision on the matter. After all it is your body to hold dearly.