- Gender and Relationships
Public displays of affection in adults: Right or wrong?
Is the excessive amount of affection display sign of insecurity and immaturity?
In younglings, puberty and lack of experience in life combine to make these look for love in a way in which they can’t keep themselves from showing displays of affection- including long kisses, excessive amounts of hugs and constant and frequent flirting and pretty talk. Although this does not mean this may look inappropriate and parents and teachers should be able to talk to them about consequences of such displays and the implications if they go beyond that, the truth is that this behavior may be found in adults of all ages.
As said, young people are discovering themselves in the matter of love and sexuality and guidance from adults in terms of talking, orientation and psychological help should be provided, so we can basically conclude that public displays of affection may look immature, but not necessarily wrong. In adults, this behavior shows mostly a severe lack of self-esteem, unjustifiable immaturity and could also be a sign of insecurity within a relationship. Let’s see why.
Nobody cares on your relationship with another person
If you are beyond 21, you have basically acquired a sufficient amount of experience to know who really loves you and wants to use you. Although falling in love may be something “magic” for some, that magic cannot make you lose focus on the real world around you. There is a strong difference between love and sex, and people who are old enough should differentiate to avoid falling into the trap of confusing them. Sex is simply a pleasure felt in the body- love goes well beyond that. In women, love takes more importance than sex, generally, which is way they seem to fall in love more often than men. Looking for love in men who are simply looking for sex is the equation for disaster in the sentimental realm of a human being. There are men out there looking for love, and love is much more than kisses, hugs and physical displays of affection. Love that lacks of trust, honesty, respect, support between each other is not love, is simply sex. Love does not even depend on sex to happen- which is why asexual people can fall in love. And if you fall in love, honestly, with another person, and he or she reciprocates the feeling, nobody else really should care on their relationship other than friends and family of the couple.
Excessive hugging and constant kisses in places where there are others can be seen as a form of boasting of a love that may simply not be there. One can think that the couple is extremely in love but truth is that they may be faking it so they are taken seriously. It even looks much worse when one of the parts gives all the affection while the other seems bothered and annoyed with it. It can be seen a lot especially when women give all the affection and men seem like they want to stop.
Also, an extreme amount of affection display may look as if the people cannot control their sexual nature. They have to keep touching and caressing each other and it gives the impression that they are capable of having sex in front of everybody. This is a severe sign of insecurity- love is not proven by the act of sex. Sex per se does not consummate love. You may have sex with your partner tonight and tomorrow have a severe discussion because of not agreeing with each other’s opinions on something and take it personal. Love is consummated in the form of devotion, dedication, and ultimate honesty. You prove you love someone not by giving kisses and hugs and having sex with him/her- you prove love when you are faithful in your mind and your soul.
If you do this, you don’t need to keep kissing and hugging your partner every time and everywhere, in fact, you don’t even need to do it outside your house. To make a display of affection every now and then is not necessarily bad but the truth is that no one outside you circle of family and friends really care about how much you love your partner.
Equality for heterosexual and homosexual people in the topic of public display of affection
A lot of people still see the display of affection between a male and a female much more bearable than coming from a homosexual couple. Personally I have only see just a few forms of affection from homosexuals, and only two of them in public, as they seem to hide to avoid mockery and bullying. Public displays of affection are just as immature for both heterosexuals and homosexuals. Culture and religion have made people think that a kiss or romantically affectionate hug between two men or two women is wrong and against nature. I already covered in another hub on this topic of homosexual nature, so having concluded that homosexuality is the natural orientation of a minimal percent of humans, and it can’t be controlled or changed; there is nothing worse in two homosexuals than two heterosexuals. Again, a public display of affection may make the couple look insecure and vulnerable.
So, is all physical display of affection all about sex?
Culturally, kisses and hugs in this part of the world is a sign of love, but it’s only cultural. Truth is that other than the perception provided by the culture to people, physical display of love in excess is purely sexual. Touching people in excess looks like a need to feel something physical and thus, sexual. It’s not that if I touch a friend during a conversation with the hand to the arm or shoulder it means I want something but doing it a lot is just inappropriate. Again, in younglings is more common because of puberty and the discovery of the sexual nature, but in adults is just not excusable. Again- as part of culture, not all touching and physical display of affection is sexual, but in excess, it is.