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Nothing Wrong by Eve

Updated on June 13, 2016

He doesn’t think he did anything wrong

I didn’t realize he did anything wrong

All my life I’ve been someone who pushes everything down I don’t want to feel I don’t want to think about it I rationalized it a million times in my head

I was sexually assaulted December 3rd, 2015 and I didn’t know until April 2016

Sometimes I still feel like it’s my fault

I was the one who initiated anything

I was lonely and knew he was interested in me

When it happened I felt paralyzed

I spent my whole life thinking this couldn’t happen to me this couldn’t happen to me this couldn’t possibly happen to me

After it happened and we were still naked he said he didn’t think we should do this again

But we could still be friends

Someone told me a few days ago

“It doesn’t get better, it just gets easier”

I’m still waiting for the easier part to happen

Someone told me

“A part of you died when that happened and it’s okay to grieve for that missing part of you”

He told me

“I’m learning to treat women better”

“I would never have done the things I did if I had a better understanding of what I was doing”

“I didn’t enjoy it”

“I am so sorry”

Until the police got involved via a third party

He told me

“I don’t know why you’re feeling this way with me”

“It bothers me that I scare you so much”

“I never did anything that I didn’t think was in the heat of the moment”

“I’ve done nothing I feel that has greatly hurt you”

He said

“I never thought she would say anything about you to the police. I didn’t know you talked about me to people in that way”

I said

“I talked to my close friends about being sexually assaulted but I trusted them with that information”

He said

“But xxxxxx I’ve never thought that I sexually assaulted you”

He said

“You weren’t the only one bothered by the whole thing”

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