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Real Love and Emotions

Updated on February 27, 2017

Emotion is an instinctive, affective state of consciousness in which feelings such as happiness, grief, anxiety, and hatred are experienced as consciousness related to cognition and volition. Emotions fade away while real love is an unremitting, seamless flow. Fleeting emotions such as covetousness, passion, affection, and helplessness might ebb and flow depending on the situations, happenings, and moods.

Love is a feeling that can make you emotional - blissful or sorrowful. It is so much more than emotions. It is life’s get-up-and-go that emanates continually. External circumstances won’t have any impact on love and thus it can be defined as the depth and vastness of your own life form.

Love, an independent feeling, can be a discipline, duty, manoeuvre, act wilfully executed, prayer or worship etc. People with evil intentions use love as a tool of blackmail. Most importantly, love is that additional power we have around from God that helps manage when everything else fails and rise above ourselves. The objects of love might change, but love remains constant.

When you truly love someone, you are accepting him or her into your very being. The same thing applies the other way around too. When you accept someone in all honesty, you’ll learn to love him or her.

“When an emotion is healthy, it arises only when it’s essential; it recedes willingly as soon as it has addressed an issue. When love is healthy, it does none of these things. Although they are intimately connection, love is different from emotion; its behavior is different from that of emotions. Real love is in a category of its own,” says Karla Mclaren, an empathy pioneer, in The Language of Emotions.

At times, we fantasize ourselves in love, propelling out emotions against someone we’re not deeply attached to. In such a situation - lust, mood, and passion – all these can take part in the roles, but the real thing, love is missing.

So, how do you know whether you truly love someone or not? True love has power that can cause a noticeable change and makes us a toughie. When you love someone, it gives you an advantage and razor sharp sensitivity to our senses, permitting us to behold the world in a more meaning way and experience life. Love is all about sharing; a self-centered person can’t love someone deeply. If you’re happy in love, you spread the happiness to others whereas if you’re sad, you incorporate the lessons and move on.

According to Daisaku Ikeda, a Buddhist truth-seeker, teacher, writer, and anti-nuclear activist, “Real marriage is when you have been married for twenty five or more years, yet have a feeling of same love as that of your first date. In fact, love will deepen. Love is not merely based on simple likes and dislikes.”

If you’re love is true, you don’t just love your romantic or marital partner, but your parents, children, kith and kin, friends, and pets. Love originates from within and reaches out to embrace our near and dear ones. If you truly love someone, you’ll be easygoing and ignore their mistakes, and you’ll remain concerned and connected.

According to Sampooran Singh Kalra, popularly known as Gulzar, the poetic definition of love for the movie Khamoshi is love. Love is a feeling of the soul and not confined by nomenclatures or definition, pronounces this great poet. He says, love is indestructible and its natural flow cannot be hindered. If done, unfavorable emotions crop up. This is what he says with his poetic lines:

“Na ye bujhti hai, na rukti hai, na theri hai kahin

Noor ki boondh hai, sadhiyon se baha karthi hai”

Without a shred of doubt, love is a union of souls, where one is approaching the closing stages, the other begins.

“Where I exist, nor you

So close that your hand on my chest is my mine,

And so dear that your eyes shutter as I fall asleep,” Pablo Neruda, Chilean poet-diplomat and politician”

When the relationship is not in accord, it is most likely because of the central problem is – when there are differences in the love shone by each other. The bond becomes stronger and lives longer when the couple in it expect to be loved in the same manner. An amusing laughter will evade bitter arguments about these differences, on the grounds of mutual respect. At Bajrangi Dham, during your consultations, attention in detail is given to the following questions during the assessment of your marital relationship:

Physical

How attached are you with your partner, physically? Are you both satisfied with each other with the physical relationship?

Sexual

How harmonizing are your sexual predilections and sex coerces?

Emotional

Do you honestly share your feelings with each other and more importantly, listen to each other? Sharing feelings is very important.

Intellectual

How do your intellectual stimulants work with each other?

Practical

How is your association in executing mundane domestic tasks and issues including housework and financially plans?

Spiritual

Do your opinions see eye-to-eye as far as the meaning of life is concerned? Do you share views honestly about your values and visions?

All in all, love is a feeling that can make you emotional and is never ending. It is independent. Emotions on the other hand are fleeting and diminish after the incident or circumstance sooner or later. Your love life will be successful if the relationships – physical, sexual, emotional, intellectual, practical, and spiritual - are in harmony.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 5 months ago

      I've come to learn over time that "real love" is in the eye beholder.

      The reality is there is no true "universal definition" for love.

      Everyone has their own idea of what love is suppose to "feel like", "look like", and how people "in love" (should behave) towards each other.

      Essentially if someone does not love us (the way) WE want to be loved we will never FEEL loved (no matter how much they may love us).

      "How do you know when YOU are loved?"

      That is the question one's mate needs to know.

      A woman may be married to a man who has become emotionally distant. He doesn't do anything romantic or go out of his way to surprise her.

      And yet if an intruder broke into their home he'd die protecting her.

      Can anyone honestly say this man doesn't love his wife?

      Ultimately what it comes down to is finding someone who naturally loves you (the way you want to be loved). Sure you can "communicate" or tell a person what you want or expect but compatibility trumps compromise. Eventually most people revert back to who they are.

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on. The choice is up to us!

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde