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Relationships - The Do's and Dont's
2 Bodies 1 heart!
A relationship is a state or a way of connection between 2 people, objects or things. But since the relationships between humans are far more complex in nature, we shall limit our discussion in this hub to human relationships.
A relationship between 2 people is formed by the combined acceptance of the mind and heart. The sense of togetherness and the desire to lead a life of content with the person we cherish is what makes a relationship stronger. In any relationship for that matter, the unspoken policy of 'Give- and- take', without consciously dwelling over it, is what makes the bond between 2 individuals permanent, with far reaching relational longevity.
As is the case with all things in Nature, relationships too do break, more so often in today's materialistic centered world! And we end up depressed, frustrated, helpless which eventually gives rise to anger, revenge, frustration and sadism.
We often, quite erroneously, think that the remedy to a broken heart is to forget, not necessarily forgive and move on! Yes! This indeed holds true in cases where in a relationship ends in a bitter and violent manner. But even so, a broken heart can be mended and the methods used to mend it are often so trivial, that we overlook them by the sheer simplicity of their magnitude.
Strengthening a Relationship!
6 Steps to strengthening a relationship
1. Accept the problem: More often than not, a relationship is further deteriorated by a singular party failing to analyze and accept the problem. In such cases, we often end up blaming the other person for 'creating issues out of nowhere'. Hence, when you sense a problem in your relationship, accept it!! That way you will start to get thinking about a possible solution!
2. Lock your Ego!: Perhaps the single biggest factor which stops a relationship from being strengthened is our inflated ego. Having a sense of one's self-esteem and self-importance is important for the self development of any individual, however, in the matters of the heart, an inflated ego can often cause a blinding effect on an individual's practical & logical way of thinking. The solutions to the gravest of our problems often lies in the simplest of solutions. However, our ego acts as a deterrent to accessing those simple solutions. Hence before you actually begin the process of communication with your potential partner, make sure that you have locked your ego in the deep recess of your mind:)
3. Communicate: Communication is the best and the most effective solution to forging a strong bond. It doesn't harm to talk your heart out and let the other person know as to how exactly you have been feeling! Always remember that your silence will only worsen matters and help create frivolous conclusions in the other person's mind. Hence speak your heart out and let the other person know the precise reasons justifying your opinions!
4. Listen: We all hear but we seldom listen! In matters of the heart, we always seem to be in a hurry to put forward our thoughts and opinions first! On the contrary it would help your cause by leaps and bounds, if you would first listen to what the other person has to say. Of course, you would have to talk too, but if you sense that your partner or the person in question is restless and judgmental, then allow him/her to talk first with you being the perfect listener. Always remember that if you don't listen to what your partner has to say, then do not expect your partner to listen to what you say either:) Because your partner would be in a far better position to listen and understand your point of view once you have listened to his/hers :)
5. Do not wait for too long: In a new relationship, time is of essence. No! You don't have to be in a hurry, but neither take the person in question or the time or the opportunities offered for granted. Life is fun, joy, humor and having a good time alright. But at a certain stage of our lives, we got to get serious in matters that needs seriousness :) The longer you delay it, the more distance you would be creating between you and the potential person in question. Hence, take a deep breath, start thinking about the person and the relationship and go for it and best available opportunity. At the end of it all, if you are confident of the other person's response, a few month's brief analysis stint should be enough for you to start giving the right signals :)
6. Never ever compare: People, relationships, emotions and feelings are like good food. We relish them at the same time we compare them with what we have encountered in the past, either good or bad. This might work brilliantly in the matters of food, however for the matters of heart, it's a completely different ball-game :) Comparing a new person with someone from the past is a dangerous proposition in the long run. You are the master of your own life and you know why you have come out of your past, so why compare with something that you have left behind? :) Instead, direct your energies towards the one person who matters today. Nobody is perfect and we all have our white and black shades embedded within. So let go off the past and channel your efforts towards the present, since the present is what matters for a beautiful tomorrow :)
Make it work!
Conclusion! Don't give up!
No two human beings are perfect for each other. Differences are always present and would remain so during the course of a relationship. However the desire to be with a person for life is independent of the perfectionism associated with him or her.
A successful relationship is based on the acceptance of each others short-comings and respecting them. Success in a relationship is not to get gullible with external influences but listening to your inner-self first before arriving at any conclusions.
As they say, a relationship's success is not because you are perfect or the other person is but the combined flaws are arranged in a way so as to allow two separate beings to hinge together :)
Don't give up, it's just one life! Think you can make it work and it will indeed work:)