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Recognizing The Signs That Suggest You Might Be Clingy

Updated on May 1, 2014

The clingy woman

You meet this gorgeous girl. You two hit if off almost-instantly. You think (with your track record with women) that you are dreaming. No woman this hot could ever have a long-term relationship with me, you begin to think.

But you keep these feelings hid. You do not want to jeopardize your new relationship with this girl you have just met. Besides, talking only wastes time. And you want to utilize every waking moment with this "girl of your dreams."

Clingy is no joking matter

As time goes by

you have (some of) the best times of your life. You even go as far as to confess to your new girlfriend, "I never knew that love could be like this," but you didn't see her grimace behind your back as those words left your lips.

It's early, but something is definitely going on. And it is not good.

Then it happens and you are totally-unprepared. You call this new girl one night just to talk and go over the plans you have for the weekend with her. As you talk, you can sense that there is something in her voice that is very unsettling.

You ask if something is wrong and she giggles, "No, silly. You worry too much." And you feel that old familiar relief returning to your mind and soul.

If you haven't guessed the problem by now, I will go ahead and "break the news," to you.

My friend, you are clingy. Your new girlfriend knows it. All of your previous girlfriends knew it. Even God knows it. Everyone knows it but you.

These are all signs of being clingy

Just what is clingy

you ask. Clingy sounds so girly, but I am a man, you protest.

It doesn't matter. Clingy can surface in both men and women. And while we are here, let's look at a few signs that you are clingy:

  • You find it hard to trust your girlfriend
  • You have to know everywhere she has been in a day's time
  • She always has to tell you who she talked to at work, school, and even the grocery store
  • You call her way too many times in a week's time
  • You are on-edge when you are out in public and a strange man or girl speaks to her
  • You are quick to accuse her of cheating for any minute thing you find uncomfortable
  • You ask more probing questions than you do listen
  • You are constantly fighting over her past which is none of your business
  • Sometimes being clingy drives you to stake-out her apartment and take notes of her coming and going
  • You are always redefining your relationship with her.
  • You always get to say that she loves you even after two dates
  • Your talk of marriage too soon
  • She begins to want her space when you call her or come by to visit
  • She is beginning to be distant
  • Even if she has work on her mind, you accuse her of seeing other men

And these are just a handful of crucial signs that you are a clingy guy.

Other "good" gestures that say you are clingy

  • You send her expensive bouquets of flowers after your second date
  • You buy her expensive jewelry after the fourth date
  • She gets nervous as you talk about your future together
  • You start to ask her about moving in with you
  • You make her car payment for her
  • You automatically-assume that you are her "only" male friend

How do I stop this clingy thing?

Well, depending on the severity of the problem of being clingy, you must learn these few things in order to start a new process of thinking if you really want to stop being clingy.

  1. Admit the fact that you are clingy and when you are open with it, the next steps, although they may seem hard, are going to get easier as time goes by.
  2. Learn to trust your girl or boyfriend. That is key to you being non-clingy.
  3. Learn to trust what he or she says to you. If she says that she likes being with you, trust her. Do not say or do anything more. True love begins with a simple like.
  4. Take it easy. Do not rush your relationship. If he or she needs to talk something over with you, do not think it is you who is the problem.
  5. Learn to listen intently to your girl or boyfriend.
  6. Stop assuming that your mate is cheating on you simply because he or she does not want to discuss every detail of their life with you.
  7. Enjoy every minute with your girl or boyfriend.
  8. Do not rush anything on your companion.
  9. Do not smother your companion. Allow them to have space to breathe.
  10. Do not call your girl or boyfriend too much. This shows you do not trust them.

If you can start with the first step in this list and work on it until you master it, you stand a great chance of overcoming this being clingy.

These work. I know. I am a reformed clingy man of now 39 years of marriage.

Men: Be honest. Are you clingy with your girlfriend or wife?

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    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, sujava venkatesh,

      You are right. The opportunity of the hour. Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it.



    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      Thank you so much for your input. I needed this and will forget it. I cannot tell you how many clingy girls I dated, but I too, was clingy with a few myself.

      It's like a snake sneaking up on its prey. Clingy will bite without warning. And make one's life miserable.

      Come back anytime and talk to me.

    • sujaya venkatesh profile image

      sujaya venkatesh 3 years ago

      need of the hour

    • Anna Haven profile image

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Good advice for those who are crowding their partners.

      Your tips to overcome and move on from the fear driven emotion will surely help them move forward and find lasting love on an even keel.

      Anna :)