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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
Reflections #1 - BLESSINGS
A friend and I saw each other one time in a bakery we often visit during our elementary years. As usual, greetings of Hi's and Hello's then questions about family, work and anything you can ask when you met somebody after a long time. My usual answer is that I am already a full-time mom managing everything at home. Usual replies you will receive are "That's good, you are really hands on in molding your family"...and "Really, don't you find it very tedious and taxing especially taking care of the needs of your children?"
A smile just appeared on my face everytime the second statement is being said. What would be the best reaction for this then?
Gains and Losses
It's been two years since I resigned from work and heeded to the family decision of giving up my work for the sake of the children who are about to go to school at that time. The adjustment was not that easy. I missed working very much, especially those times of travelling and dealing with clients. I also missed interacting with bosses especially those meetings with a lot of brainstorming to do. I missed visiting deliquent clients together with my AOs, and also missed the month end reportorial requirements. I missed our monthly get together of sharing what we can afford for a meal or snacks. I missed all those things.
Other things that I missed are the summer outings, the parties, the perks and recognitions that came along with work quotas. What I really miss is the learning I get everyday in dealing with the people around me, and the stories that I will forever cherish and consider confidential from those shared by my bosses.
These were the things I have given up when I decided to become a full time mom. It was so difficult for me to accept for quiet a while, especially, when you see other women going to work early in the morning, with bags of the latest fashion and corporate attires to wear even without a body to flaunt with it (just jesting)...Seems like a long list of losses huh...
What did I gain after giving up my work or career if I may say?
Well, reflecting on the losses, made me realize my gains. And here's the list:
- I loss the chance to be employed, but gained the opportunity to have a small business of my own which I can manage at my own convenience
- I loss clients to deal with their accounts everyday, but gained the chance to deal with people from all walks of life and serve them in their needs
- I loss the chance of having monthly reportorial requirements, but gained the chance to put into account every detail of my daily transactions in the business
- I loss the manpower to supervise, but gained other factors to manage - time, kids, inventories, and many others
- I loss the chance of work-related travels, but gained the chance to travel whenever I feel like to
- I loss colleagues to brain-stormed with, but gained a real partner not just to debate with, but a teammate for a vision - my husband
- I loss the monthly chance to go to the the bank/atms for salary credits, but gained the daily opportunity to handle money, and spend it the way I want it to be spent
- I loss the daily chit-chat of colleagues, but gained new acquaintances with better stories in life to tell and share
The list will not end here, for I have so many things to be grateful for. But what remained in me, is my unique individuality. What I may have lost in giving up my career did not lessen me for being the real me. I will forever remain a person with a grateful heart, who will fight for her rights and who will stand up for what she believes in.
For those who put their security on their careers, think twice. You might loss it at a time you least expect it. Statements from career women for stay-at-home moms as moms with bundles of insecurity is the most degrading thing you can ever tell to another woman. Be sensitive enough, for only a woman can ever understand another woman.
God Bless us all women.