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Five ways to self recovery after heartbreak

Updated on April 18, 2016
MEND IT. You have the power to overcome heartache. Choose to recover, so as not to suffer.
MEND IT. You have the power to overcome heartache. Choose to recover, so as not to suffer. | Source

Recovering from a broken heart

Loving is innate to mankind, but so is pain. When we love, we never think of what may come next. All we know is that we hold in our hearts the strong feeling of giving to that one person the passion inside. But when all else fails, and when the fairy tale ends, all that's left is the sorrow of goodbye.

But we must never forget that it is not the end of the world.

1. Recognize that everything happened. The more you deny the fact that you have been pained, the more the wounds will go deeper. Tell yourself that your heart was broken, and that you accept it as a fact.

2. Cry it out. Call it emotional brutality, but take out everything that will make you unleash the pain through tears. In this process, think of yourself as a candle. The more tears fall from you, you gain a stronger base.

3. Write about the pain. Sometimes, articulating the pain can be an effort. Plus, you need a true confidante who can listen to you but can also manage to put his mouth in his pocket. It is best that you write about your pain, and the great frustration that burdens you. The feeling of ease equals verbalizing your pain.

4. Use your pain productively. Write a poem, a love song, or paint a sad art work. As they say, the best masterpieces are created when the artist is pushed to the edge.

5. Never close doors. The immediate reaction of people when they are hurt is that they refuse to love again. Do not let the temporary pain limit your capacity to live and love. Open yourself to the possibility of finding a new love, and when you do, celebrate it with all your heart.


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    • Boy Maldito profile imageAUTHOR

      Jose Paolo Calcetas 

      2 years ago

      Thank you for your comment. That is quite an insight. I love how this emphasizes "Every ending is a new beginning".

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      2 years ago

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Learn from your mistakes!

      Ideally with age and experience comes wisdom to become more selective with who we spend time with and emotionally invest ourselves.

      Until one figures out why they said "yes" to someone they're more likely to make the same mistake again if found in the same scenario.

      The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.

      Having said that there are instances during our youth where we are simply too immature and naïve to realize people rarely if ever find their "soul-mate" at age 17! We set ourselves up for heartache because we had unrealistic expectations to begin with.

      The average person in the U.S. loses their virginity at age 17. The average age of a first time married woman is 27 and it's 29 for men. That means the person one fell in love with and had sex with during their teens is not likely going to be the person they end up marrying. There's a 10-12 year gap on average.

      You also see this with college bound youth who are going away to separate schools. They honestly believe they will maintain a long distance relationship for next 4-6 years until they each have their degree.

      The reality is no teenager is going to spend their college years strictly going to classes, studying, eating, and sleeping. Eventually the pull to socialize with people who are actually on campus with you becomes too strong to ignore. Socializing leads to making new friends, parties, or joining a fraternity/sorority and dating....etc

      Truth be told when it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very few people hit a homerun their first few times up at bat. Thankfully there are over 7 Billion people on the planet!

      Odds are in everyone's favor that there are more than a few people who would make an ideal mate for any of us.

      Every ending is a new beginning!

      The world may not owe you anything but (you) owe yourself the world!


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