Rejection When Dating
Communication Is Key
A Guide To Expressing Your Feelings / How to Express Yourself When Dating.
Communication skills can make or break a relationship – Let’s start the process of decoding conversation. When people date you need to be comfortable expressing uncomfortable thoughts or having uncomfortable conversations. Rather than taking the coward way out and disappearing or removing yourself from interaction by ignoring calls –let’s man up.
Let’s share uncomfortable conversations when dating. If you share ways you express your feelings in a dignified way –please add to the forum.
8 Tips For Having Uncomfortable Conversations
- 8 Tips for Having Uncomfortable Conversations
» 8 Tips for Having Uncomfortable Conversations | "…on the shoulder of giants."
Uncomfortable Conversation Scenarios
Scenario: Online dating- A person looks unattractive or looks nothing like their online profile.
“Wow. Your profile pictures do not capture your features/beauty. Were those your pictures online or someone else’s? When were they taken? So what has taken place in your life from that time until now?
When I meet people one of the characteristics I try to evaluate is their honesty and ability to present their true self. Do you feel like your profile is an honest representation of who you are?
Scenario: Online dating- A person weighs 100 pounds more than their picture profile.
During your meeting/interaction take dinner off the table. Explain that you are respectful of their time and appreciate them agreeing to meet you. Make it clear that you want to have a conversation with them and ask them to join you for a cocktail at the bar of the restaurant. Explain that you want a few minutes of their time but you are unable to stay for dinner due to a pressing engagement. Don’t order a drink for yourself, ask for water, and let them order whatever cocktail that they want. Explain that true to your profile you believe in living a healthy life and appreciate someone that plans to live a healthy lifestyle with exercise and activity. Share the effects of endorphins released and the positive effects on your mind. When you have shared your philosophies for approx. 20-30 minutes, signal for the waitress/waiter. Instruct them to get another round for your friend and ring up the check. Pay a generous tip and inform the person that you feel the two of you share different philosophies in life that are deal breakers to you but wish them well in their future. Ask them for a hug and say goodnight.
Scenario: Broke / Class Difference
So you meet someone that works at the factory or is an aspiring singer/artist with no direction in life and no financial stability.
Find a way to guide the conversation into careers. You can share what you always wanted to be since you were a child and how you make adult decisions about your career. After sharing some of your goals change the conversation and ask them their thoughts and aspirations. Reveal prior that you admire people that work towards their goals and pursue financial independence which results in the ability to not only support themselves but their lifestyle and family. This will encourage the other person to acknowledge their dreams and the bridge between where they are going and their ultimate goals. Share with them that you are seeking the opportunity to build an empire with someone of similar mindset and respect those that feel and operate on the same page. Mention how compatibility is important. Apologize for cutting the interaction short but share that you wish them the best but ultimately feel you two may not be a good match.
Scenario: Too many children
So you meet someone and upon the course of conversation you discover a single mother or father with too many children, ex-spouses, baby mothers/baby fathers for your liking …….i.e. financial problems. Ask them how they are able to manage their households with such obligations and how they still manage to date. The person will reveal information about their life and you can take the high road and explain you feel both of you are operating in different spaces. You have obligations which are priorities in your life and I understand they do and should come first but I’m seeking someone that is on my same page that is able to engage in a relationship that suits my needs as well. Explain with the time constraints and their financial obligations we may not be the best match for each other at this point in life. Ask for a hug and say goodnight and thank them for meeting with you.
Scenario: No class
When interacting with someone you observe they are loud, obnoxious, or engage in inappropriate conversation. In this scenario mention women/men that you admire and why you appreciate the way they carry themselves. Mention how you are not a person that needs /craves attention in a negative light because it doesn’t sent a positive message to others. Ask what books the person has read lately and/or their favorite book(s. If they haven’t read anything lately explain how reading increases vocabulary, stimulates the brain, and exercises the mind. My favorite line “You’ve lived your life.” This means you have fathered and participated in activities far beyond my engagement and your tribe is too much for me to consider you due to obligations and the financial impact of those decisions.
Scenario: Bad sex -Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.
You don't have the right to hurt others and you should not treat anyone in a manner that you would not someone to practice on you.