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Rekindling passion- Biblical prescriptions for reigniting passion in a dormant relationship within 30-days

Updated on June 20, 2016

Rekindling passion- Biblical prescriptions for reigniting dormant passion in a relationship within 30-days

Rekindling passion- Biblical prescriptions for reigniting dormant passion in a relationship within 30-days

It is a cardinal principle that when we have something at our disposal whenever we want it, that object loses its importance and can easily be taken for granted; the object could be a friendship, money, or a physical relationship. When the object is not at our disposal whenever we want it, we begin to desire it until it consumes our thoughts. Prior to a marriage, immense anticipation and sexual tension exist between a couple that expresses itself in overwhelming physical passion once the marriage is consummated. Unfortunately, over time the all-encompassing flames that existed in the early stages of marriage slowly become quenched leaving the cool ash of a passionless and robotic like relationship. For thousands of years our ancestors have practiced the most effective method to maintaining an explosive sexual relationship that renders modern temptation irrelevant; the theory of distance. If a couple is close when they should be far, they will be far when they should be close.

The fetal stage of a relationship centers around fun and excitement. People put their best foot forward and anticipate going out to dinner, going to the theater, and discussing interests they may have. They are subconsciously determining whether or not they can visualize a life with this person. The fetal stage of a relationship is devoid of the mundane which characterizes much of real life. This stage is very similar to the fetal stage of a physical relationship where the couple is stimulated by the novelty of their spouse; the erotic scent of her perfume, the sheer ecstasy of beholding her in lingerie for the first time, the shiver her touch elicits down the small of his back, and the first intoxicating kiss of her lips. Over the span of a very short period of time, the fetal stage of a relationship gives way to the birthing stage.

As is the case with a baby experiencing birth, the birthing stage of a relationship takes a couple out of the comfort, warmth, and carefree atmosphere of the womb characterized by a new relationship, and into the reality of life. Conversations revolving around hobbies and travel destinations concede to discussions of the logistics of picking up dry-cleaning, grocery shopping, and other tasks that can hardly be described as exciting. This takes an enormous toll on the pleasure couples derive from physical time together and causes the ecstatic feelings of sexual conduct that used to soar like an eagle, to plummet like a stone. This is all the more the case if a couple is available to one another all of the time. A very destructive ingredient is the need to have things now.

A sad component of modern society is instant gratification. Those who came before us had to work for something and often wait for a long time to obtain it. This built anticipation and when they finally got the object they were working so hard for, they cherished it and it meant much more to them than the same object would mean to us today. Today we have credit cards to buy whatever we want whenever we want it. It seems immodesty hunts us relentlessly in our daily lives to the point where a person must actually put effort into avoiding such immodesty wherever in manifests itself- as opposed to the past when an individual had to search out the immodesty. This has hurt relationships between people in that for the vast majority of people, our spouses will not be as aesthetically pleasing as the visually enhanced images on billboards and in magazines. Without vigilance, a phenomenon could occur where these imposter images take the place of a spouse in terms of physical gratification. This is a deathblow to any marriage and must be avoided at all costs.

Having discussed destructive elements that send a vibrant relationship into hibernation, let us delve into the remedies. There is a religious concept known as family purity that centers around the reproductive cycle of a woman. According to this practice every month during the menstrual cycle of the woman and for seven (7) days afterward, she is completely forbidden to be physical with her husband. No longer may she hug and kiss him at will. No longer may he massage her tailbone after a rough day. In fact, no longer may the couple share their favorite dish at a restaurant, nor sleep in the same bed. The point of this essay is not to pressure people to go to this extreme, rather, to present the system and let each couple develop a plan as to how far to take this concept. One thing is for certain- IT WORKS!!!

When the woman gets her period, she may have a headache and require more sleep than usual. This is a time for the caring and emotionally supportive husband to prove that he loves more about his wife than her body. He will naturally want to take care of her by doing extra chores, helping out with the children more, and simply being beside his beloved and empathizing with her pain. The couple must reconnect on an emotional level without the narcotic effect of the physical that has a tendency to obscure reality. They can go to dinner, talk about their day, and work together as a team to accomplish necessary tasks. At night upon gazing at the inherent beauty of your spouse, you will see the good friend in her and fall in love with her again as she peacefully drifts off to sleep in the shadow of moonlight. In turn, she will notice the good man that she married that is helping with chores such as brushing the kids teeth and see that he values her as a human being, not just a sex object. This process continues and grows throughout the 5-7 day menstrual period. Towards the end of this segment of time, the core relationship will have been replanted and sexual desire will manifest itself at sporadic moments such as when she is getting dressed or putting on makeup- you will notice your eyes wander.

After the seven (7) day menstrual period and during the seven (7) “clean” days, you will notice your libido growing and gaining strength. Sexual tension may manifest itself at different points in the form of frustration between the couple over insignificant matters, but this is natural and necessary. The perfect storm of physical desire, emotional connection, and sexual frustration congeal into a nucleus of passion desperate for expression. As the timeline progresses towards the 14-day point, you will notice yourself counting the days, hours, and minutes until she is permissible to you again. At times it will be difficult to concentrate on ordinary tasks and you will visualize your wife in her lingerie. Anticipation will build as you mention to her that you very much look forward to the time when you can be with her again. When the 14th-night finally arrives, you will find yourself figuratively pulling out your hair due to unbridled desire for your wife. Without even thinking about it, you will find yourself washing the dishes and other forms of “choreplay” to earn brownie points and get on her good side. Your hungry stare will elicit chuckles from your spouse as she reads the thoughts in your mind by the expressions of your face. The moment you see her in her lingerie after two-weeks of drought, it will be as exciting as the first time you were privileged to see her scantily dressed. Her first touch will send shockwaves down your spine, and the first kiss will instantly launch you into the stratosphere. As this progresses to intimacy, you will find yourself in a dreamlike state that almost does not feel real. From this time forward, the couple is permitted to one another for the following two (2) weeks. Sheer ecstasy is the only adjective to describe the passion, love, and excitement you will feel. You will feel that you put your time in by waiting and now it is “my time.” At rare moments you will catch her glancing at you with sleepy eyes and a naughty smile that says a thousand words. After intimacy, if the fever of desire hits you soon thereafter, she will remind you curtly that you were just together and that you need to be patient. You will think to yourself, “patience my ass- I’m gonna kill something!” Now is the time to share meals, sleep in the same bed, talk dirty to her, and express to her in speech and action how much you desire her. As you have refrained from such speech for the two (2) previous weeks, she will want you to talk dirty to her and massage her beautiful body all over. She will appreciate that you waited two weeks for her and will want to avail herself to you. These two weeks of permissibility will literally feel like your honeymoon. As the two weeks winds down, you will feel remorse such as when a child knows his vacation is drawing to a close and will soon return to school. It will again be time to abstain from the physical and build your platonic relationship.

Distancing from your lover for short intervals on a regular basis is the most effective way to ensure that your physical relationship remains vibrant. With all of the nonsense and immodesty hunting us down from the outside, it is crucial to possess an inner sanctum of passionate monogamy in the home. Every couple needs to decide according to their own comfort level how far they want to go with this guide in terms of breaking from intimacy. Although it may be concealed by the fog of daily routine, assuming physical and emotional attraction still exist between the couple, this system is guaranteed to ignite the dormant embers of any physical relationship.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 17 months ago

      "It is a cardinal principle that when we have something at our disposal whenever we want it, that object loses its importance and can easily be taken for granted." - Valid points!

      However it's not uncommon that people who have different libidos come face to face with that reality after the "infatuation phase" passes. I've yet to hear of any couple waking up one morning and saying together:

      "Lets stop having so much sex!"

      While in the early days (both) people were looking forward to having spontaneous sex often as the relationship became more emotionally invested the person with the lower libido reverts back to (their) norm.

      Rarely would any mature man throw away a loving relationship because the woman was having her period. In fact some people have no problem having sex during periods. Others are open to being pleased manually or orally and there are also those who are okay with waiting until the period is over.

      Sexual compatibility is something you really won't discover if you have it until after you have been together for a while.

      Even then some folks feel if they can't have sex they are unwilling to sexually please their mates in anyway.

      Others get enjoyment out of pleasing their mate.

      Different strokes for different folks!