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Relationships Can Be Complex

Updated on September 30, 2017

Relationships. They are splendid, but get difficult from time to time. There are many issues surrounding this twelve letter word. When is the right time to get into a relationship? How do you know when you’ve found the right person? How does one keep a relationship going and what does it entail? What happens when one senses the beginning of the end? Just to name a few of the questions that bounce around our heads.
So the major conflict for teenagers is when the right time to get into a relationship is. Take that thirteen year old girl who claims to be head over heels in love with that sixteen year old guy. Well most parents would go ballistic; stating that she is way too young to even know what love is. In my opinion you are actually never too young to fall in love. It just happens and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. However the younger one is the more carefully he or she must tread. Love can make one completely blind and hamper judgment terribly. It is the situation whereby one opts to think with their heart rather than their brain. The younger one is, the rasher their decisions are. So basically you can love when you’re ready. You just have to know that the younger you decide to jump into a relationship, the more mature you must be about it in your thought process. One small mistake and it’s crash and burn.
The million dollar question is how you know that you’ve met the right person. This is pretty intense; something that comes because chemistry cannot be forced. In my opinion, the right person has a very unique effect on you that you cannot fail to notice if you really want to know. This person makes your heart race whenever you see them, no matter how many times. Weeks, months later your heart still races and you can’t help the smile that graces your face whenever they’re around. You crave this person. Not necessarily in the sexual way; you just want to be in their presence all the time. What they say about thinking about the person you love every living breathing moment is not a myth. It is very accurate. No matter how much you want to shove them out of your thought; put them on the back burner, you simply cannot. You worry about this person. When they don’t call or text you swallow your pride and check in on them just to make sure they’re okay. This, my friends, this is true love. The selfless love where you love this person not just because they love you but because of who they are. Loving a person just because of who they are and just wanting to see them happy is true love.
Everyone has their own way of keeping their relationship going. It’s kind of a personal thing. Based on my experience? Well excuse me while I cringe. So far the longest relationship I’ve been in lasted about half a year. But I believe honesty is key to any good relationship. Don’t bottle up your feelings. Speak your mind without fear of intimidation because this person loves you as you are. Also, remind the person of interest that you love them every single day.
There is nothing worse than sensing the beginning of the end in a relationship with someone you truly love. We hear of heartache and think it is hyperbole, but it actually hurts. Heartache is real. It is an inexplicable pain that builds from within. That feeling that washes over you and makes you cry, no matter how strong you think you are. When you begin to sense the beginning of the end, just take a deep breath and calm down. Give your love interest space to collect his or her thoughts so that the problem can be voiced. Step back and watch from the sidelines. If they come looking for you to put you back into the game, all is well. If they don’t bother…Well, honey have a Kleenex. Life can be unfair sometimes but the best thing one can do is pick themselves up and march on.
Clearly, relationships are not all they are cut out to be. It requires commitment and agreeing to disagree. All in all there is nothing better than knowing that someone somewhere is crazy about you.

© 2017 Valerie


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      16 months ago

      "In my opinion you are actually never too young to fall in love. It just happens and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it." - This mindset often leads to heartbreak.

      Most young teens lack the ability to think beyond "right now" which is a sign of immaturity.

      When I was in Jr. high a 13 year old girl attempted suicide because her 14 year old boyfriend broke up with her to date the "new girl" in school.

      As an adult it is heartbreaking to believe any 13 year old would believe their life is not worth living. It's also incomprehensive to believe a 14 year old boy should be held responsible for anyone's welfare! He can't take care of himself!

      I've often wondered if this woman is able to look back after having graduated from high school, college, establishing a career, getting married, and having her own 13 year old daughter....ever looks back at herself and how immature she was to believe she had found her "soulmate" at 13.

      Each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Each of us chooses who we spend our time with.

      Therefore we actually (do choose) who we will love.

      Nothing happens until you say: "Yes".

      When it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very few people hit a homerun their first, second, third, or fourth time up at bat. If this were not the case everyone would be married to their high school sweetheart!

      The reality is when we're young we pursue relationships without figuring out who (we) are let alone know what we need in a mate for life! We allow "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate our relationship choices.

      It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

      Whatever made for an "ideal mate" at age 13 or 14 most likely will not cut it when you're 25 or 30. However teenagers as I pointed out aren't know for thinking beyond "right now"!

      After a series of heartache it's only then that we consciously create our "mate selection process" and "must haves list".

      Note: These are likely to change or evolve as we get older.

      The best advice which no teen wants to hear is date for FUN.

      Your priorities should be education and establishing a career.


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