ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Relationships-Do I really want one?

Updated on August 4, 2017

Is it too late to date?

 I remember one day when I was at a seminar for work. I was sitting in the front row, and the speaker was talking about the balance of life. I was very interested in the diagram she had drawn, and the sections that show a healthy balanced lifestyle. I was thinking in my head and soon the words had come out of my mouth. I said something to the effect that my life had no balance. If I remember correctly, part of the circle was for work, and another part was for relationships, it was all suppose to equal to a balanced life. My circle, if it was in a visual sense would be empty. At this point in my life I have no work, I have not had a relationship in 6 years, most of my long time friends have passed away, and my best friend and companion, Timmy died from the poison dog food from China. I have learned that you truly experienced being alone when your kids are grown and on their own. The first year, is probably the hardest to cope with, and you have your pets to keep you company. By the sixth year, you like being alone. It only bothers me on my birthday and holidays. I like my space, I like to travel when I feel like it and answer to no one. Is that being selfish? Could I share my space with the right person? Who is the right person? How would you even attempt to find a Mr. Right? I looked at Internet dating, and I was not impressed with the men on the sites. How would you really know who is hiding behind the keyboard? I do not really drink and I do not like bars.  I should go to church and I have been thinking about finding a church in the area. I always felt that my time was better spent making money. Since my divorce I have lost my drive and killer instinct. My kids notice the changes and make remarks and recommendations. So I was wondering if by 57 is it too late to learn how to date? Most men are not appealing to me. They are lacking the "it" factor. I have only seen a few men that caught my eye and usually they are taken, or married. I think I scare men because I am so independent, and I am not insecure or jealous by nature. I am really going to have to work on myself to fill my circle. I changed my hair color again. I need to loose more weight to make myself feel happy. I need to find a job that will bring me joy.I would be a good catch, if I wanted to be caught. Maybe small baby steps. I have trust issues, that is for sure. Maybe I need a complete overhaul in mind and body. It is very bad when the only emotion you can feel is fear. I think I have been hiding behind the weight. The general population of men do not attract to slightly over weight women. I have been using the weight to keep men at a distance. To prevent myself from feeling or being hurt. The true fact is that I know why I am doing it, and it does hurt me to do it to myself. It is almost like when in high school and they are choosing teams for basketball and you are always the last one picked. Or you are never asked out to the prom. Then 10 years later when you go to your high school reunion, no one knows who you are, because you have become so pretty, so confident and poised that it throws them all off balance. I realize that nothing will change unless I change it for myself. But it still leaves the question, where do youstart to find a suitable date? I always use to ask people the question , so how did you meet? Some say the Internet dating, but I do not see that as possible. I know I need to get rid of all the past love ghosts that keep haunting my memory. Why do I have the need to go backwards to the familiar? I lost two men that I really loved, and It was my fault. Perhaps that is why I am afraid. There must have been a inner feeling with both of them, a caution flag that caused me to bolt and end the relationships. The time has come, that I need to move forward, take risks and open my heart for the possibility of love. I will work on that tomorrow.


Submit a Comment

No comments yet.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)