- Gender and Relationships
Relationships: Is There A Way To Tell If Your Partner's Cheating
Clandestine meetings beneath streetlamps, the slip of a bra strap, the tap of a stiletto on the wet pavement, a kiss at the nape of your neck. These are the things we think about when we think "affair."
I once had a neighbor who said she left an earring behind at her boyfriend's house so she could later ask him where it came from. She did. He didn't know what to say. After a few months she realize he was seeing other women and broke it off.
There are the obvious things a woman looks for when she feels her boyfriend is cheating, like lipstick on the collar. There was this woman in my sociology class in college that only dated married men. She said there was no fuss. No bother with these men. Her thing was to never wear lipstick so there would never be a chance of it landing on anyone's collar. She didn't wear perfume for the same reason.
Going through bank statements, credit card statements, phone bills, text messages, airline schedules, planners, wallets, and cars are some of the things women think to do first when they suspect something. These things can help lead you in some sort of direction if you pay careful attention.Otherwise you'll have to rely on other measures to catch the cheater.
Many people who find themselves in this situation have at least narrowed the field down to a few suspects do to their own instincts. They know when a partner shows up late with liquor on his or her breath, looking like they just got out of a bar fight. You'd think a person like this would at least straighten up before coming meeting with you. One women I used to be friends with had a long standing affair with a married man with four children. I kept telling her to stop, to no avail. That is why I an no longer friends with her. I couldn't stand it. Needless to say, she told me that her married boyfriend had her get the same kind of soap he used at home so his wife wouldn't smell something else on him when he did show up.
A change in sexual behavior is also something to pay attention to when it comes to other women. A cheating spouse may want to change things up after never doing that, or may want more or less time with you. Something is often odd in this department.
The proverbial man or woman having an affair will change their clothing, hair, shaving routines, facial expressions, mannerisms, and in general his way of communicating with you.
But if you've tried everything from staying awake so you'd hear if they leave at night, to taping the door opening with Scotch tape so you'll see if someone's gone out, then maybe you need to resort to some serious tactics to get the job done. One way to do this is to hire a private eye. He will probably put a GPS on your boyfriend's car and follow him, and take pictures. The GPS can be purchased at your local spy shop, and attached with a magnet to the inside or outside of a car. In fact it doesn't even have to be attached to anything. It can just be sitting in the car. If you want the pictures and don't want to pay a big fee, do it yourself. Or, have a friend do it.
If you suspect that something's amiss in your relationship or your marriage and there's an affair brewing, you'll either accept it, or you'll push until you find the truth. Then the" ball is in your court" as they say.