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Should We Live Together?

Updated on October 2, 2019

Living In Sin

There you are you in your panties and him in his boxers standing side by side brushing your teeth. Did you ever think it would be like this?

You know, they say you never really know someone until you live with them.You really don't know what a person does when they're alone. Or as the case may be, ...what they do when the two of you are at home together. There's a lot to discover when you move in with someone.

Marcie, a girl that lived in my apartment building during college says she's glad she spent three years living with her husband Richard before they got married. According to this girl, she had to know just about everything before she was going to walk down the isle with anyone. She spent time pondering her parent's divorce much of her teenage years. So, hooking up with someone for the long haul wasn't something she was going to necessarily do later in life.

During those years together she found that he didn't like animals, he focused his parties around sports, he golfed every waking moment, and his ex-girlfriend was still in love with him. He kept a photo of his ex from school and special mementos she had given him. Knowing what she knew about Richard it's amazing Marcie married him after those years together.

The good things she found out about him ended up surpassing the bad. Richard is a great cook and he always leaves the kitchen sparkling clean, he can fix anything no matter what it is, he looks great all of the time, and he takes good care of himself. He would never pass by someone stuck on the side of the road, and he certainly would never turn on a friend.

When it comes to Marcie, Richard always ask her if she needs anything from the kitchen when he's on his way there. He covers her with a blanket when she on the sofa late at night. He gets her vitimins for her when he takes his every day. What she loves the most is how is so willing to give her great masages after she does a hard workout.

She also found that you don't just go off into what seems like eternal bliss at first and never fight. Marcie said that first year they fought all of the time. She knew from the start he would never leave things as they were when he thought he was right, whether he was or not. This really got to her, and made he wonder if things were going to work out at the time. After those "living together" years Marci says they learned to be more patient with one another. Most of all she says they both had to learn how to listen.

Living Together

Did you live with your spouse before marriage?

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    • lisasuniquevoice profile imageAUTHOR

      Lisa Brown 

      8 years ago from Michigan


      You have a good open view of this situation. Today, more people accept people living together even if they aren't going to get married. Way back when no one thought it was okay except those doing it.Thanks for your comment.


    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 

      8 years ago from North Central Florida

      Learning to listen with your mind and with your heart is a big one. If you master that you are on your way to developing a good relationship. Often it is the things that aren't said that answer questions, if that makes sense to you.

      After my divorce, a most wonderful person came into my life and remains there today, some 25 years later albeit at a distance.

      We were teachers at the same school is a small town. He lived 45 minutes from where I lived so we spent hours on the phone getting to know each other.

      Then time passed and he moved in with me.

      It was a huge period of adjustment for both of us. He had his definite views on things, on how to do this and that, on how to raise children (I had one, he had never had any), and he knew the answer to everything and his answer was always the correct one (he thought..and sometimes he was right!!).

      On the flip side, he was amazing. He helped me to discover the me that had hidden inside for so many years---he made me believe in, that was reason enough to be with him. But there was more..he was smart and talented and industrious...he could create amazing works of art out of wood, sculpting as any great artist might, he made many unique and beautiful game boards for use in his classroom, he had a lawn care business in the summers that was quite lucrative..and on and on....

      We would have eventually married but my parents were quite elderly and I had to move back to North Florida to care for them and our relationship could not survive that as I had to stay for years. But we are friends today and I am so thankful for this friendship.

      Angels are on the way to you...thanks for sharing this with us...some consider living together taboo but I personally think it can often be a very good way to get to know each other before making the commitment of marriage. ps

    • lisasuniquevoice profile imageAUTHOR

      Lisa Brown 

      8 years ago from Michigan


      I'm not sure any girlfriend could handle you on the homefront or anywhere else. You're just too busy I'm sure.



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