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Relationships & Marriage – Importance of checking family Background

Updated on February 27, 2011

It was in Ghana, Africa; Rita got pregnant when she was a Teen and the father disowned the pregnancy, so when she had the baby, she gave it to the Mid-Wife in Hospital to look after. A lovely baby boy, but she didn’t want to take him home. The mid wife kept the baby as hers and later got married but never told the boy she was not his real mother. She called him Paul.


About 30 years later, Rita was feeling lonely. She had settled into a nice marriage, had another son but had lost her husband. She was a lonely widow and one of her friends boasted to her that she was enjoying the company of younger men and adviced Rita to do the same. She said, it would make her happy and they would be at her beck and call. Rita took her advice and found herself a young man, they had a nice relationship and she showered him with money.


Meanwhile, one evening Paul sat in the living room holding his head in his hands looking as if his world had collapsed. His “mum” (the midwife)  was worried and asked what was wrong. He confessed that he had gotten a woman pregnant. Instead of being disappointed, she was very happy. She had always looked forward to having grandchildren. She asked Paul to arrange for the 3 of them to meet.

A few days later, the 3 of them met – Paul, his adopted mum and Rita. After pleasantries, Rita said that, Paul’s “mum” looked familiar and asked her if she was a Midwife. Paul’s mum nodded. A few minutes later, it all came back to Rita and she asked Paul’s mum to recall about 30 years ago when she left her new born baby with her. She said to her “I wonder how he is, I hope he is still alive.”

The mid-wife nearly fainted in her chair. Paul and Rita were worried about her. She then pointed to Paul and with tears running down her cheeks, she said to Rita: “this is your son.”

Rita fell out of her chair in shock. She was pregnant with her son’s baby.


** (This type of situations happens a lot. Sometimes between brothers and sisters, cousins or other family members).


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    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 7 years ago from London, UK

      ** Ladyt11 - thanks for your encouraging comments.

      Best Wishes.

      ** toknowinfo - Glad you found it interesting. It could happen in any part of the world. A lot of people go missing in life and coincidentally end up meeting someone they don't know is their relative - until they dig into family records. :)

    • toknowinfo profile image

      toknowinfo 7 years ago

      Wow, you told this story amazingly. It is shocking to think that this could happen, yet I guess I shouldn't be surprised either. People in third world countries have some things so difficult, that the rest of us, don't even realize. Thanks for bringing this type of story to light.

      Rated up.

    • profile image

      ladyt11 7 years ago

      oh my god!! This is unthinkable, I can't even imagine this! Things like this do happen though. I agree with you that it is important to check family background. I also agree with Deborrah k Ogans. Another good and interesting hub Elena, I really like the things that you write about. Keep up the good work.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 7 years ago from London, UK

      ** Cheers anglnwu. It is shocking. Glad you stopped by.

      ** Always exploring - I guess that's why they say "it's a small world". Thanks so much for stopping.

      ** Hello Deborrah - totally agree with you. It's one of the reasons why in Africa, emphasis is made on families meeting themselves (before their kids marry each other) and lots of questions are asked about backgrounds. Have a blessed week.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 7 years ago

      Lady E, How atrocious! This is shocking my heart sank when I read this! I cannot begin to imagine the inner perplexing turmoil this would cause... I would think that the younger man would automatically remind her of her son? It is really important to know well who you are letting enter you… Preferably be married! This would further help to prevent this since you need birth certificates! I hope this helps others who may not be aware of who they are sleeping with!

      I agree with givingfairy. You certainly delivered a "good one!" Thank You for sharing, In HIS Love, Grace, Peace & Blessings!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 7 years ago from Southern Illinois

      OMG! This would be the worst possible out-come of an affair. Who would ever contemplate? Very interesting indeed!

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 7 years ago

      What a shocker. Sounds like Greek mythology in the modern version. Thanks for sharing.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 7 years ago from London, UK

      ** Cheers Paul. Hope you're doing fine.

      ** Giving Fairy - Aaawh... thanks so much. I clicked on your name yesterday and it took me to an outside link (education) but it didn't open. Thanks for stopping.

      ** Mentalist Acer - Indeed what a turn. Hopefully, one we'll never have to see in our life time.

      ** Thanks Becky - for your supportive comments. Glad you stopped by.

      ** Hi Fastfreta - I like the point you made on adoption records. Hope you are doing fine. Thanks.

      ** Lorlie - That's true. I feel sorry for those who totally love each other and can't turn the clock back once they find out they are related. Hope you are fine and enjoying doting on Quinn. :)

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 7 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      This IS shocking, Elena. But it is a perfect cautionary tale.


    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      OMG! What a horror story for all concerned. I've actually never heard of this before, and you say it happens a lot, WOW! How important it is for any contemplating a relationship with anyone to check out their background thoroughly. This underscores the importance of being able to investigate adoption records. Very good Lady_E.

    • Becky Puetz profile image

      Becky 7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Good grief! What a horrible, heart-breaking thing to happen. You're right, it's extremely important to check family background and keep good records. Great hub.

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 7 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      What a turn of event Lady_E.;)

    • profile image

      givingfairy 7 years ago

      Once again Lady E delivers. What a story! It still happens today. Hope this hub will be enlightenment to others who are on the path to romance. Your hubs are always interesting. Keep up the good work.

    • profile image

      paulgc 7 years ago

      O.M.G what a shocking story. Thanks for sharing, I think,lol.