Relationships Need Vehicle Maintenance
I have discussed how important it is for men and women to take care of their cars and their bodies in order to get the most out of them. It occurred to me that some of those same principles can be applied to a relationship. I will start with the gentlemen.
I want to challenge you to make it a point to think about the special woman in your life every time you work on your vehicle. She needs to know you think about her and care about her. It is important to her to feel wanted. Your car may not have the ability (yet) to actually vocalize what is wrong with it so you have learned to ‘listen’ to it, to ‘feel’ how it is running in order to know how to care for it. She is more complicated but if you listen, she will tell you what she needs.
The most important thing a man can do for the woman in his life is to spontaneously show her how much you care. Many women love getting flowers. It can get expensive so if your budget is on your mind, consider sending chocolates or even a card or love letter in the mail every time you change the oil.
It is recommended that you change your wiper blades every six months, most people do this once a year as long as they are still performing properly. Consider this a good time to take her some place special. Again, it does not have to be expensive, even a private picnic in a tent in the back yard after the kids are asleep will let her know you thought of her.
If you can, schedule any significant routine tune-ups the day before your anniversary. That date will be in your mind so it will be easier to remember what the next day brings and the car will be in top form for cruising the strip with your gal.
Checking your fluids and topping them off as necessary should be done on a regular basis. Think of the dipstick as your romance level (yes, it is dorky). More often than not, you double check the results. Likewise, do not assume everything is okay with her, double check, pay a little extra attention. ‘Listen’ to what she is, and is not saying, ‘feel’ how she moves. Is she tense? Are her communications with you short and choppy? You should get to know her as well as you know your car. Your car repays you by giving you years of quality service. She will repay you by giving you her heart and years of faithfulness and love.
Ladies, it is your turn. You love to get pampered, whether by your man or yourself, it really does not make a difference as long as your needs are met. Your man has needs, too, he just has not been raised how to express that. Let us see if you can rise up to meet the challenge I set for the men.
If you get your nails done, you know how high maintenance that can be. I propose that on the days that you have a nail appointment, wake up your guy to a good-morning massage. You will not have to worry about ruining your nails and he will appreciate the attention.
How about tanning? Whether you lay out or go to a salon, you probably have it all planned out at least a week in advance. Why not also plan to make him something special on those days? It could be his favorite dinner or even a new dessert. (Such as you in your darker shade topped with whipped cream and cherries.)
Even if you do it at home, you likely trim or dye your hair every six weeks or so. Great days to plan a night out. You will be looking good and feeling good, and that vibe will rub off on him leading to a hopefully fun and rewarding night.
He may not tell you that he wants more attention, but he does. Just as you feel good when you go shopping for yourself, he would feel good if you bought something for him as well. It would show him that even when you are out solo or with the girls, you are thinking about him. You might be saying that he knows that due to how many times you text him while you are out of sight. That would be wrong. Guys do not want to feel smothered and they do not need anther maternal figure vying for their attentions. Give them some space to do their own thing while you do yours. He will appreciate it and want to do more for you.
Calling or texting him too frequently is a sensory overload for him. To put it into perspective, it would be like adding highlights to just about every strand for fear that if you left one out, it would not look right. Instead it is too much and ends up ruined. Bottom line ladies, you do not have to be subservient in order to be attentive. When ever you think about something that would make you feel good, think about what might make him feel good, too!