Relationships People Who Need People Are Lucky Really
Shouldn't It Depend On What For
Doesn’t that really depend on what people need them for. I mean I hate to be blunt here but some people, women included, need to start growing a set. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about then you definitely don’t need to be reading this hub, for two reasons. One is that you are to young, and number two if your not to young your definitely to naïve or sensitive for my type of writing. Call it tough love, straight to the point, I call it like I see it.
I believe it was Barbara Streisand who sang “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world,” and I have no clue as to how she really feels about that statement, but what I do know is that is not always a true and realistic one. Yes I know it was a song but it sends a very clear message to me, which is sometimes misinterpreted.
All Fired Up
If your wondering what got me all fired up about this it started in a conversation with a friend of mine who is currently not in a relationship, and another one (which I’ve commented on in a previous hub) who has been whining about the break up now for about 8 months. I know it takes time sometimes, but I mean come on 8 months Of course his X is one of those stay in touch in case the new one doesn't work out, which doesn't help. Well I guess that kind of sums up the second thing that got me fired up so back to the first.
The first conversation got me going when we were talking about work and sometimes she wished she had another job. I know there is nothing wrong with that but it was the comment that followed, “I wish I could find a man,” that sent me flying. When I asked why and “Where did that come from?” the response was, “You know so he could take care of me financially and tell me it was OK to stay home or take my time and look for another one.” What? I was thinking of course along the lines of it being a joke, but I assure you it was not.
My Thought Process Scary But Sometimes True
Here is my thoughts on this line of thought processing. Relationships are hard. There is no doubt in my mind that they are a lot of WORK (probably why I’m not in one) which in itself can really be a pleasure, if your doing if it for the right person and the right reasons. I mean lets get one thing straight here, I am not against relationships, marriage, significant others, whatever the case may be as long as it is for the right reasons. Trying to find someone to take the pressure off financially, or so that you can take a break from work is not one of them. Believe me if it was, I would start looking TODAY! Then if you consider the beginning of a relationship, (which I call the mediation period), is hard enough without throwing some financial strain in there. Of course it takes two jobs right now to support a family and having that persons income is not only a need but probably a necessity, but it is not a reason to start looking for a man.
People should need other people for all kinds of reasons that are making them to be a better person, but not because you need the justification to feel good about who you already are. It’s like asking your other half what they think when you put something on before you go out. It should be done because you care what they think not because you need reassurance before you go out of the house. Having someone order for you when you go out to a new restaurant is great if your doing it because they know what’s good having been there before, and not because your afraid of what they will think if you ordered it yourself. Do you see where I’m going here?
Having someone compliment you or tell you did something right is great. Shoot we all like compliments it reassures us that the two hours of getting ready was worth the wait, (never happening at my house ½ hr max and that’s make up and everything OK maybe 45min). It should never be a need to be told that you did something right out of fear your always doing it wrong. If you have identified with a couple of these I’m going to suggest some counseling, a life coach, therapy, or something that can get you to the point of having a direction and just feeling good about you. If you want some info on life coaches you can check it out here (it’s just info don’t panic) You see it’s like this, how can you expect someone to love, care, and understand you when you don’t even understand who and what your about yourself.
For a lot of years I never use to be able to take my own inventory, probably around 40 of them, (that‘s right 40yrs). Honestly it was because I was to busy taking everyone else is so they wouldn’t look to see the big empty hole inside mine, and then wondered why I always sabotaging every relationship I was ever in. You can’t get to close to someone who isn’t there.
Men always say they don’t understand women and vice versa, I think sometimes that’s because were not to sure on understanding ourselves.
So listen if your in one of those relationships where your laying on the beach, out back grilling, watching your child take their first steps, or looking over a mountain top at a dream home you know is a shared goal, and you can look into that persons eyes, and when they look back say to yourself “Yeah I know why he/she loves me and that’s just part of the reason I love him back” then I think you have been blessed in more ways than imaginable. Ok now for the I’m getting a little to sappy here. If you look at them and are saying, “Why is he/she always looking at me like that?”, maybe it’s time to take a good look at what there trying to see.
So people needing people can be great, especially if it’s in a relationship, but it needs to be for the right reasons.
Have an incredible day.