ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Relationships People Who Need People Are Lucky Really

Updated on May 5, 2011
Source

Shouldn't It Depend On What For

Doesn’t that really depend on what people need them for. I mean I hate to be blunt here but some people, women included, need to start growing a set. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about then you definitely don’t need to be reading this hub, for two reasons. One is that you are to young, and number two if your not to young your definitely to naïve or sensitive for my type of writing. Call it tough love, straight to the point, I call it like I see it.

I believe it was Barbara Streisand who sang “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world,” and I have no clue as to how she really feels about that statement, but what I do know is that is not always a true and realistic one. Yes I know it was a song but it sends a very clear message to me, which is sometimes misinterpreted.

Source

All Fired Up

If your wondering what got me all fired up about this it started in a conversation with a friend of mine who is currently not in a relationship, and another one (which I’ve commented on in a previous hub) who has been whining about the break up now for about 8 months. I know it takes time sometimes, but I mean come on 8 months Of course his X is one of those stay in touch in case the new one doesn't work out, which doesn't help. Well I guess that kind of sums up the second thing that got me fired up so back to the first.

The first conversation got me going when we were talking about work and sometimes she wished she had another job. I know there is nothing wrong with that but it was the comment that followed, “I wish I could find a man,” that sent me flying. When I asked why and “Where did that come from?” the response was, “You know so he could take care of me financially and tell me it was OK to stay home or take my time and look for another one.” What? I was thinking of course along the lines of it being a joke, but I assure you it was not.

Source
Source

My Thought Process Scary But Sometimes True

Here is my thoughts on this line of thought processing. Relationships are hard. There is no doubt in my mind that they are a lot of WORK (probably why I’m not in one) which in itself can really be a pleasure, if your doing if it for the right person and the right reasons. I mean lets get one thing straight here, I am not against relationships, marriage, significant others, whatever the case may be as long as it is for the right reasons. Trying to find someone to take the pressure off financially, or so that you can take a break from work is not one of them. Believe me if it was, I would start looking TODAY! Then if you consider the beginning of a relationship, (which I call the mediation period), is hard enough without throwing some financial strain in there. Of course it takes two jobs right now to support a family and having that persons income is not only a need but probably a necessity, but it is not a reason to start looking for a man.

People should need other people for all kinds of reasons that are making them to be a better person, but not because you need the justification to feel good about who you already are. It’s like asking your other half what they think when you put something on before you go out. It should be done because you care what they think not because you need reassurance before you go out of the house. Having someone order for you when you go out to a new restaurant is great if your doing it because they know what’s good having been there before, and not because your afraid of what they will think if you ordered it yourself. Do you see where I’m going here?

Having someone compliment you or tell you did something right is great. Shoot we all like compliments it reassures us that the two hours of getting ready was worth the wait, (never happening at my house ½ hr max and that’s make up and everything OK maybe 45min). It should never be a need to be told that you did something right out of fear your always doing it wrong. If you have identified with a couple of these I’m going to suggest some counseling, a life coach, therapy, or something that can get you to the point of having a direction and just feeling good about you. If you want some info on life coaches you can check it out here (it’s just info don’t panic) You see it’s like this, how can you expect someone to love, care, and understand you when you don’t even understand who and what your about yourself.

Source

Taking Inventory

For a lot of years I never use to be able to take my own inventory, probably around 40 of them, (that‘s right 40yrs). Honestly it was because I was to busy taking everyone else is so they wouldn’t look to see the big empty hole inside mine, and then wondered why I always sabotaging every relationship I was ever in. You can’t get to close to someone who isn’t there.

Men always say they don’t understand women and vice versa, I think sometimes that’s because were not to sure on understanding ourselves.

So listen if your in one of those relationships where your laying on the beach, out back grilling, watching your child take their first steps, or looking over a mountain top at a dream home you know is a shared goal, and you can look into that persons eyes, and when they look back say to yourself “Yeah I know why he/she loves me and that’s just part of the reason I love him back” then I think you have been blessed in more ways than imaginable. Ok now for the I’m getting a little to sappy here. If you look at them and are saying, “Why is he/she always looking at me like that?”, maybe it’s time to take a good look at what there trying to see.

So people needing people can be great, especially if it’s in a relationship, but it needs to be for the right reasons.

Have an incredible day.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Charlu profile imageAUTHOR

      Charlu 

      6 years ago from Florida

      Hi Peggy It's weird sometimes for me because some women that's all they want. It just baffles me that someone could pretend and go through all those games just to be better off financially or stay at home. Oh well that's probably why we haven't talked in ages. Thanks for your valued time of sharing, commenting and votes and I'll talk to you soon.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 

      6 years ago from Houston, Texas

      You are absolutely correct in what you say. If people enter relationships or marriages for the wrong reasons, it will probably never last. And why put yourself through that treadmill of ups and downs that is bound to happen?

      That example you cited of the woman looking for a man to "take care of her" financially while she looks for another man...that is just plain terrible! She would not be the type of person that I would want to know. I can see why it inspired this hub of yours.

      Voted up and useful.

    • Charlu profile imageAUTHOR

      Charlu 

      7 years ago from Florida

      Hi Fuscia I couldn't have said it any better Thanks for your time and great comment Now I need t go check out some of your hubs. Talk to you soon

    • fucsia profile image

      fucsia 

      7 years ago

      I am totally agree with you. Only when we are indipendent, from all the point of view includind emotionally, we can have a true and deep love relationship.

      Great Hub!

    • Charlu profile imageAUTHOR

      Charlu 

      7 years ago from Florida

      Thanks Dream On You are so awesome and full of laughter and inspiration. Thank you so much for your valuable time and great comments

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      I came back to one of your hubs then I noticed I read it already.That means you have Great hubs that I can read again and again.I still find the same hub interesting and knowledgable and it continues to give me deep insight.I just don't want to leave.Have a nice day.

    • Charlu profile imageAUTHOR

      Charlu 

      7 years ago from Florida

      Hi Marellen, I know people ask me all the time why I don't date and my response is why would I? I mean I think it's great if they're happy, but I'd just rather not deal with the stuff I see most go through. Thanks for reading and your comment. Oh yeah my skunk is back and I think he's decided to stay:)

    • profile image

      marellen 

      7 years ago

      Charlu...I couldn't agree more. I'm not in a realtionship because it just doesn't work for me and I would rather be alone. I can take care of myself...Thank you very much....I certainly don't need someone else for that reason. I know people who are in miserable mariages but stay for all kinds of reasons. Frankly, I look at them and think, thank goodness I'm not.

    • Charlu profile imageAUTHOR

      Charlu 

      7 years ago from Florida

      Thank you I enjoy reading your comments as much as I do your hubs and poetry You are so insightful it's inspirational. Thank you again

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      I am happy to be the first to comment.I think if we have to change who we are because someone else doesn't like what we look like or how we we dress and what we do.When this is something we have always done and enjoy doing.Then it might not be the right person for the right reasons.When they want us to do something with them instead to make us happy only to make them happy. If they want us for a paycheck to make their life easier then your in for many surprises in the years to come.If you find someone who compliments who you are and makes you feel great and is willing and loves to do the same interests as you.Then you have found someone loyal and true.If you also love and believe in the same values and feel relaxed and proud to be with them for any reason then you have found a keeper.Love comes before money.Because when the money disappears you will have the love to make more money or do without together.If you never had the love to start when the money is gone so will your fake lover.Nice hub and many interesting thoughts.Thanks for sharing.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)