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Relationships in your 40s

Updated on February 25, 2015

What is the difference between an older woman dating a younger man and an older man dating a younger female? NONE. Yet society has labeled the female a “Cougar” & the male a “Pervert”. WHY? Is it because in general it just looks bad? When you have understood what, who, when & why the relationship began and goes through maybe you wouldn’t be so quick to judge it (even when we’re not to be judging anyone whatsoever)

Being a female, it irritates me to see others who see this behavior as anything less than happiness. Allow me to shed some light on the “COUGAR” relationship.

Has anyone ever bothered to really ask if the parties involved in the highly publicized & ridiculed (age difference) relationship WHAT makes them happy? A female well into her 40’s begins to (skeptically) date a younger male. Let’s have you say he’s a complete gentleman towards her in every way she is looking for. Yes, she contemplates on the age difference but goes with the flow because it is making her feel pretty good. She feels sexy, confident & desired. The dating continues and moves forward despite all the negative comments by friends & family. She is happy, great conversation, mutual interests & whatnots. The physical part of the relationship sets in YES it is amazing for the both of them. When the honesty of it all is discussed between the two; birth control (may not even be necessary) safe sex will always be until you both are monogamous so yes it is GREAT. WHY? Let me tell you that a WOMAN in her forties when it comes down to the bedroom; is all about her sensuality, feeling love, touching, caressing, passion, romance, orgasms. She knows what she wants. Many times a man of her own age or older may not or cannot fulfill this task (for whatever reason they have). WOMEN in their forties have reached their peak. Females in their early years who go through partner after partner clearly have no idea on sharing this part of themselves with anyone. These girls are too busy focusing on finding the “perfect” guy and relationship instead of remembering they’re in the physical part of it also and well just (La--- there) assuming that’s love.

MEN; who date the younger female have been labeled a “Pervert” & screamed that it’s wrong & indecent; that he is going through a mid-life crisis. Well being in your 40’s may have its issues however feeling awesome with someone shouldn’t be considered such a crisis. A man of this age doing & feeling the same as the older woman is enjoying his life & emotions with that person. WHY does society have to condemn any happiness at all? Who says it is wrong? Love is Love & comes in ALL shapes, colors & knows no number.

Being in my late 40’s with older sons in their late 20’s I too have thought of the “What if it was my son?” Well, I wouldn’t condone it & would have to support my son’s decision to accept his happiness; if it lasts or not.

I can’t sit here & write on neither supporting it nor condemning it. I simply give you a view from both sides of the relationship. If it makes them happy; let them be. I personally believe that either gender in their 40’s with this kind of happiness just maybe in fact purely physical & if this is what makes them happy; so be it.

Enjoy life; it’s too short not to grasp any kind of happiness that comes your way; just make sure its legal…


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    • Herlinda Rocha profile imageAUTHOR

      Herlinda Rocha 

      3 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      Thank you, much appreciated.

    • Herlinda Rocha profile imageAUTHOR

      Herlinda Rocha 

      3 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      Thank you. Great Response!!

    • poetryman6969 profile image


      3 years ago

      I like your viewpoint on relationships.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      3 years ago

      It's my understanding that (younger women) coined the phrase "Cougar" when Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher started dating. These young women felt like Demi had "stolen" one of theirs.

      Older men could care less about who older women date. They themselves are usually more interested in younger women.

      And for this many of these men have been called "Dirty old men"/Perverts, "Sugar Daddies" or "Old fools" mostly by (women) once again! Why? Because they want the same type of women in their old age as they did during their youth!

      The only difference between a "dirty old man" and a "young man" is their age!

      Men didn't care when Cher was dating Tom Cruise or when a 68 year old Joan Collins married 32 year old Percy Gibson, the men her age didn't exactly rally to protest their union either.

      It seems to me that women have more of a hang up about ages differences. If they're older than their man they worry about what others may think or say. If they're younger and being pursued by older men they're "offended" unless he's RICH. Case in point Hugh Hefner was age 86 when he married his girlfriend Crystal Harris who was age 26 at the time. No many of men are upset with Hefner. A lot of women however believe he should be chasing after women who are Betty White's age! :)

      It's nobody's business who we choose to date or marry.

      Life is a (personal) journey.

      The world may not owe you anything but you owe yourself the world!

      Welcome to HP Herlinda!


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