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Relationships: How to Choose More Carefully

Updated on April 23, 2013

Many people spend so much time and energy on their love lives, striving for the ideal relationship. While self-love is the only true love in our view, it's understandable why the feeling of being loved and accepted by another is so desirable.

Along the path to finding compatible love, everyone has their share of adverse relationship experiences and some people are fated to have more than others. Although challenging love connections seem to only complicate your life, in time it's easier to see how they've helped you learn and grow.

Sometimes the best path seems to be to go forward with a challenging relationship even if you are aware ahead of time that it could be problematic. Other times a relationship may seem wonderful at first, but then you realize you didn't know the person (or yourself) as well as you thought you did, you end up bringing out the worst in each other, or you simply grow apart.

Our research and work firmly indicate "negative" relationship situations are karmic.

Even so, ultimately you do have free will to react to the situations and conditions in your life, and the more in tune with yourself you are, the easier it will be to choose and navigate your relationships with compassion and understanding.

Self-Exploration, and Relationship Traditions

If you avoid self-exploration and solitude at all costs, and you place great importance on relationship traditions, it will be much more difficult for you to avoid the bad apples and emotionally, physically, mentally, financially and, or psychically draining relationships. A fear of being alone and an avoidance of self-analysis will cause you to overlook obvious signs and become involved with or remain with people who, all things considered, work against you. As discerned through astrological and numerological comprehensive charting methods, handwriting analysis, and psychic insight, some people are born much more relationship oriented, with scarce emotional independence (or are even prone to co-dependence). Hence, situations involving unhealthy relationships decisively manifest as part of their predestined path. Though even in these cases, they have the option of using free will to make the most of it all.

If you fit into this category, one possible remedy to help limit toxic relationships is having goals that supersede "The One" ideal. School, career, your children, fitness, volunteering, hobbies, or other such things on which to focus your time and energy could help you make better decisions in your love life by helping you to detach and view it all from a higher perspective. At the same time, we've found that people will do as they are fated to do time and time again, but at least awareness can assuage dilemmas and you can work within your destined framework for more desirable effects.

Knowing Thyself and Meditation

If you are one of the few who know themselves very well on levels other than conscious understanding, or meditate regularly to the point of consistently experiencing divine insights, you'll be able to perceive quite a bit about potential matches before getting involved with them. This will also give you a head start in how you approach and respond to people and situations in your life, allowing you to use your free will more constructively.

For example, after meeting a new relationship, friendship, or employment possibility, you'll be able to more easily pause, step back, contemplate the situation, and consider if it's worth the time and energy and if it would be supportive of your goals. But maybe you're also wise enough to know that one's heart can interfere with decision-making.

Metaphysical Tools, Advisers, and Eremites

If you consult with a metaphysical adviser or even actively apply tools such as astrology, numerology, handwriting analysis, or tarot, or work with dream analysis, for example, you may know quite a bit about potential matches even before you meet them. Higher than average psychic abilities can also allow you to perceive the "good" and "bad," or at least what you need to know, about people and situations ahead of time. Unfortunately, this may often cause you to be forced to decide between the complexities of the connection and being alone, and remaining single may seem like the better choice more often than not.

This dynamic could partially explain why "wise women," "old sages," and other mystically inclined individuals are often depicted as living alone, such as in the forest or on a mountain top; they see beyond the surface, detect the spiritual reasons at the start, and opting out might seem more appealing. Of course, they may also be alone because they enjoy it, their collective natal and timing indications symbolically choose this for them, they are simply taking a break between relationships, or they have so many friends (guides, spirits, etc.) in the unseen dimensions that taking on ones in the here and now may seem unnecessary or pose too much of a burden.

There will always be "good" and "bad" apples in the barrel of your love life and in the rest of your life. Expanding your awareness will help guide you to make smarter choices, and when the only option is a connection that lacks a reasonable level of compatibility, use your free will to accept where you are and navigate to a better place. Although due to your personal fate, you may not be able to manifest more desirable circumstances right away, but eventually you'll be able to make the best of even the most trying times.

Copyright © Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

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