- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
Learning to Love Yourself After an Abusive Relationship
The first step towards relearning to love yourself after an abusive relationship is what I like to call "The Awakening. " This involves you really looking at yourself and realizing you deserve so much more out of life than to be treated like a piece of used up, recycled trash.
Nobody has the right to make you feel like less of a person, you are a wonderful, beautiful, creation. You are the only one who can end the abuse, if you stay with someone who abuses you the pain will never stop, people who treat others violently are struggling with things in their own lives, you can't change them. They have to want to change themselves, their problem is theirs but they have a tendency to make it others problem when they put their hands on people. Don't wait another minute, if you are being abused please end the relationship right this minute, relearn to love yourself today and end this vicious cycle.
Next thing you need to do to relearn to love yourself, is to renovate yourself. So you can find yourself and reclaim your happiness once again. Think long and hard about what makes you happy and only you happy, put yourself first for a change. Start a journal about your triumphs, relish in every new achievement you make call it your "I can do anything book. "
Do things that you were afraid to do in your past, like sing in public, even if you are a little off key, dance in front of someone else, besides your bedroom mirror. Shoot, you can even take up playing an instrument or speaking out in a public space, if that is what you want. Whatever you decide to do is fine, it doesn't have to be done perfectly, all that matters is that you tried and have accomplished the act of actually trying something a little out of your comfort zone. This will help boost your self-confidence so much.
Ease Your Mind
Once you have eliminated the problem and started going through the process of relearning to love yourself and finding out who you are, you should start noticing yourself opening up a whole lot more, spiritually, emotionally and physically.
This is when you should try incorporating some type of meditation or yoga into your daily routine. You will be pleasantly surprised, both are very enjoyable, healing and relaxing. You don't need much to try either one just your mind, body mat and a little time.
Forgiveness is also a very important step to learning to love yourself again, the first person you should forgive is you. So many abused people blame themselves for everything, they seem to put more blame on themselves for the abuse they went through, than the person who actually did the abusing.
You also need to forgive your abuser, never give them that satisfaction of being a burden to your progress. Hating them will just take a toll on your mind, body and soul, free yourself from their tight grip.
What would you do if your partner abused you?
Stop saying sorry all the time, don't be one of those people who apologize for others bumping into you, be the one who says "Excuse Me" instead of "Sorry," after all they bumped into you. Stop saying sorry when it's not necessary, if you haven't done anything rude or obnoxious you have nothing to apologize for.
Accept who you are, everything about you, being you is what has got you through what you have made it through so far. Never give up on yourself and always hold your head up high, you are amazingly, wonderful. Embrace your spirit and let it prosper and branch out.
Hopefully you will find the steps I posted above helpful during your journey of growth and relearning to love yourself again. The true secret to loving who you are starts within yourself.
- How to Deal with Leaving Someone You Love
Break-ups are painful but so is spending your life in a loveless relationship. Never pick an unloving partner over you. In this hub I give a few tips on how to deal with leaving someone you love.