ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Repairing Broken Relationships

Updated on June 12, 2015

Repairing Broken Relationships

Relationships are fragile and can be broken over trivial and minor issues if care isn't taken to protect them. And once broken, they can be very difficult to mend. The reasons can be many and varied.

To resolve an issue, understanding the reasons is important. Without knowing the root cause, reconciliation can't occur. We must analyze each stage of a relationship and find out what went wrong. Once the reasons are realized, a solution may be found.

Most issues can be resolved through communication. It is frequently a small misunderstanding at the root of a problem. Communication means conveying the facts truthfully and offering support where needed. Being able to forgive will become a key factor in repairing a broken relationship. Communication should be creative rather than critical.

Mending a Broken Relationship

One of the most difficult things in life is breaking a relationship with someone, especially if the parties involved were close. Once a relationship ends it can be hard to restore it to its former status. The closer you are with someone, the more intense the pain will be in a breakup. The good news is, relationships can be restored if those involved are willing to participate in the process of healing, although it may take time.

Obstacles to Overcome

Before repairing a relationship can begin, we need to consider what keeps reconciliation from happening in the first place. Most therapists agree the most common obstacle is pride. Many find taking responsibility for their actions hard because of their pride. Pride is usually at the center of a problem and is what keeps people apart. Our foolish pride keeps us from humbling ourselves and admitting we are partly or fully responsible. And most find the longer they wait, the harder it is to resolve the situation.

Another problem hindering the healing process is listening to perhaps well-meaning, but misinformed, friends and others giving bad advice. When listening to others we should take their advice with a grain of salt and use discernment. Along this line of reasoning, we should be aware some relationships aren't healthy to begin with and should be ended.

We should also realize, although we might be willing to restore a relationship, the other party might not be. In this case we should be patient and give them time to reconsider their decision.

Repairing Relationships

It's surprising how many don't recognize a broken relationship. Often there is an overlooked common denominator. Those who continually tend to have relationship problems, should take a close look at themselves to see if they might possibly be the source of the problem.

In these instances, humility is a must if a relationship is to be restored. It takes courage and humility for someone to admit they are wrong. The rewards, however, are much greater if they do. Even if they aren't responsible, steps must still be taken in order to reconcile. It's important not to wait on others to admit they were wrong.

It's been said, patience, is a virtue. Relationships usually don't end overnight, so they shouldn't be expected to be restored overnight. Time must be taken for each to think things through and begin the healing process. Patience is especially necessary if others fail to participate. Pushing them will only serve to drive them further away. Give them room to figure things out on their own.

Honesty is also an important and necessary aspect to healing. We should expect for each to place blame on others, it's part of human nature. However, it's uncommon when only one is at fault. Usually both parties are to blame. We must be completely open and honest. Genuinely seeking forgiveness and a hope to solve the issues are what bring healing. Don't let yourself get side tracked by non-issues or allow bitterness take root.

As humans we are prone to making mistakes, and should forgive others as we want to be forgiven. It should be noted, forgiveness isn't the same as forgetting. It's impossible to completely forget something happened. We may choose not to dwell on certain thoughts, but they are still there simmering in the background.

To truly forgive means we must restore the bonds of love and communion. Sin destroys our relationship with God and others. When these bonds are broken we tend to categorize others in terms of their transgression against us. The longer we hold on to our anger, the more deeply it becomes rooted in our heart. Resentment will destroy us without forgiveness.

Forgiveness means overlooking sins and transgressions, laying aside our judgments of others, and accepting them for who they are.


If we truly forgive someone, we need to be open to reconciliation. Reconciliation is forgiveness in action. But it's important to remember forgiveness is only consummated in reconciliation. God forgives us, therefore we must forgive each other. There is a sacred bond of love in friendship, therefore, we must strive to preserve that bond. Forgiveness is hard because it makes us examine ourselves and our judgments of others.

Many of us carry old wounds, even those caused during childhood. For example, we tend to project our issues with our parents onto those we develop relationships with. When we transfer these unresolved issues onto others, they can destroy our current relationships.

If someone we know constantly irritates us, it's as much our problem as there’s The other person may be accountable for their sins, but we are responsible for ours. We have to let go of our resentments toward others, especially those closest to us. If we admit our own shortcomings, how can we judge others for their faults?

How do we cultivate a spirit of forgiveness and reconciliation? We can cultivate a spirit of forgiveness by “never allowing the sun to go down on our anger.” If we allow resentments to take root, it's our sin.

We might refuse to forgive because we feel justified in our resentment and bitterness. We blame and criticize others, blinding ourselves to our own faults. Harboring bitterness is unadulterated pride and conceit.

However, sometimes people might refuse to receive our forgiveness. This is nothing more than pride and conceit. If someone doesn't want to be forgiven it's usually because they can't forgive themselves. We cannot accept love when we hate ourselves.

Humility doesn't mean kowtowing to others. Rather, it is being starkly honest with oneself and others. We must speak the truth in love. We can address offenses, but if there is no sincerity in our speech and attitude, there is no truth. Lack of forgiveness is at the core of most of our battles.

Real reconciliation means complete acceptance of one another, despite sins, and transgressions. There will always be sins and offenses, but we must not allow ourselves to criticize and judge one another.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)