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Resolving Relationship Conflicts Through Lovemap Analysis

Updated on December 28, 2016

Problems are normal in a relationship

Some people have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that every relationship must go through a number of problems and be tested by several trials as time goes on. The longer a relationship goes on therefore, the more problems that appear for some people. The difference between a relationship that lasts and one that is doomed to failure is in the latent compatibility of the two persons in the relationship.

In order to find out more about the compatibility of different types of persons, it is important to understand a few things about the psychological area of lovemaps. To give you a basic idea, a lovemap is a list of the traits that everyone has in their subconscious mind of the type of person that they would want for an ideal, long-term romantic partner. What is more, the lovemap is not a static thing that always remains the same, but is actually dynamic and changes over time as the individual gains new life experiences.

For example, take a situation wherein a man and a woman fell in love with each other because they both matched each other’s lovemap components and then the wife eventually found out that her husband was compulsive drinker. The wife was unaffected by her husband’s drinking habits because both her parents were actually compulsive alcohol drinkers as well, but this was never a hindrance to them being good parents for her.

However, let’s say that there was an economic recession and thanks to this, the husband lost his job and had to rely on his wife for a few months. During these lean months, the husband never quit his drinking and in fact, he became even more obsessed with it because he was drowning his sorrows in alcohol. The problem is that his drinking was now eating away at their joint funds – especially since he had been laid off. In this case, the wife would now have a problem with his drinking habits.

There’s a loophole

Do you see the loophole in this scenario? The husband could easily resolve the problem if he would just quit his drinking habits, but if he does not want to, he could actually continue drinking without affecting his relationship with his wife negatively. The bottom line here is that his wife never despised his drinking in the first place. What she actually despises is that his drinking habit is eating away at their joint funds for their own living expenses. Therefore, he could just:

  • Find a job and then be able to finance his drinking habits by himself
  • Cut down a bit on his drinking habits so that it doesn’t negatively impact their living expenses
  • Find some method through which he could either increase their disposable income or simply finance his drinking without relying on his wife.

Matching your partner’s lovemap is key

The key to keeping a relationship going despite any problems that might come up is to ensure that you keep up with your partner’s changing lovemap specifications. Just try to be aware of what it is about yourself that attracts your partner to you and watch out for any events that might cause some significant changes to your partner’s lovemap.


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