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How to Deal with a Crush on a Married Man

Updated on December 24, 2015
word55 profile image

Author of (Love Is Our Law) poetry book, songwriter, firefighter, real estate broker, College Instructor. 3 songs released. Yet to marry.

Trade The Crush for A Love That's Plush


A Crush Is Infatuation

Worship It Out Of Your System

A person with such a crush: male or female should get out while they can channel that crush in another direction. It can be done because it has been done. Don't be left with a stigma that will ruin your reputation. You must 1st be in control of prioritizing. Under God, you come 1st, (love and respect yourself) don't allow your feelings to go further than mutual with the subject person. Please understand that this is the reason for God in our lives; to regulate or hearts and emotions so that we don't get hung off into the wrongness of life and that's where the crush holder is. Right away, being a believer in the principals of God, if I see an attractive lady whom I may tend to have a crush on and she is married then a signal hits me that says “she’s married, there is someone else that is better for you” and I accept that as sheer truth.

A Good Message Here

Seek A Love Of Your Own

The only feeling that a married man can give is temporary satisfaction. As I mentioned in a recent hub, we should focus on “Do You Really Know How To Love.” Expending energy, having a crush on someone will only lead to the heartbreak of someone perhaps, you, the crush holder. Most married men stay with their wives and deal with a mistress or girlfriend on the side. Surely, it feels good in the beginning but it is not right. There should be guilty consciences on both sides however; I will deal with one side and the big question asked in the title here.

Having a crush on someone else's husband make's her deceiving makes her short of reaching her full, greatest potential as long as the heart is as wicked. Obviously, she needs something to distract her from thinking of him. I’m going to put this phrase out; for every good married man there are two good single ones available as well, somewhere.

By Changing Your Frame Of Mind

  • Allow your mind to be changed through spirituality (putting God first and you second.
  • You must remain faithful and obedient to the principals of God
  • You must make yourself more available to good-natured, single men
  • Love and respect yourself to the point of accepting through God the man (your own) that is appealing to you and your morals

I must think of the fact that I would not want another man poking my wife although; I do not mind her attractiveness to other men. There is not only a cliché but fact that what goes you do can comeback to haunt you like, when you settle down and get married then a woman can have a crush on your husband and lure him away from you. You would not want that so make an effort to rid yourself of the crush. You can also, go to the gym, exercise at home, outside and avoid watching sexual enhancing television programs as well as listening to sexual arousing music. This is serious and it’s going to take all this ad more to keep your mind away from him.

You are someone else’s queen. You must prepare yourself for that person while you still have oats to float.


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    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      mdscoggins, I'm glad you came by and gave your unique comment to such an unrelenting problem in our society. Be blessed!

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Hey Ken, you are the wise man as well. That's why you recognize wisdom. Thanks for stopping by and God bless!

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Hello oldies, Glad you overcame the crushes that you had on married men. You used the strengths that were available for you to not give in and be weak. God bless you!

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Hi Devika, one should not overstep their bounds in a relationship. Be blessed!

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      MsDora, Thank you for your comment of self-worth prior to a relationship as well. God bless!

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Hello Lorelei, How right you are about faithfulness being in a relationship and more. Thank you for your gracious comments. God bless you!

    • mdscoggins profile image

      Michelle Scoggins 3 years ago from Fresno, CA

      Great advice Word55 - not to be lead by lustful ways or crush as you mention but to lead into a pasture all your own. The level of respect that keeps a person from treading on taken ground comes from within. If you respect yourself and your spouse then there is no ground for crushes that move to something more than that. Too bad more people do not feel the way that you do.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Word55, you are a wise man. It would pay people to listen to you.

    • oldiesmusic profile image

      oldiesmusic 3 years ago from United States

      Great points there. I had crushes with married men but they were just crushes. I can't feign attraction, but that's it -- attraction. Of course I know my place and where I should stand. I wish other women should have this mindset too, because some of them couldn't help giving in to temptation.

      And when there's God in the center of your relationship (married or not yet), everything good follows. It may sound trite but it's really true. :)

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Great aspect on a relationship. You make helpful pointers. One shouldn't overstep their bounds.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Good counsel from you, Word.

      A healthy sense of self-worth tells an individual that he or she deserves a partner for himself or herself.

      A healthy sense of respect for others deters tampering with another person's marriage relationship.

    • Lorelei Cohen profile image

      Lorelei Cohen 3 years ago from Canada

      Faithfulness is so very important in a relationship. It is a bond of trust and loyalty that strengthens all other factors at play in the union. I had a married man (who of course did not tell me he was) ask me out at one point and I was suspicious so I called him out with, "you are married aren't you?" He replied that he was but that he just wanted to go out for a couple drinks to talk. My reply to him was that if he was talking to me then he was not talking to his wife and she is the one that he should be discussing this with. Period and end of discussion on my end. I would not communicate to even say hi to him again. Marriage is sometimes difficult and it takes a lot of strength to make it right. Loyalty is so very important.