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Risking friendship for desire

Updated on February 18, 2008

friends or lovers

I think I am falling in love. She is eighteen, a beautiful, young woman, I am nearly twenty. We are friends and have known each other for awhile; we have talked about friendship more than once. We have been comfortable doing homework together, going to a movie or the library and quite often eat together in the student union cafeteria. We don't consider that we are dating. We have talked about love and romance and neither of us has ever been in love or had a romantic relationship or desire for one. Call her innocente, call me Freddi.

Innocente does not know that as we spend more time together my feelings have changed subtly but enough so that i know i am feeling romantic toward her. I particularly notice female gestures and movements and the clothes she wears create strange feelings in me which I quickly push down and tell myself are the result of the Kabasa and onions with a beer I had for lunch.

Why can't we be lovers and friends and still continue just as before?

As most readers here know, there is a line once crossed that rings a bell which can never be unrung. Once certain words are spoken and physical desire consummated the lovers might say nothing has changed, however, invisible barriers have been unlocked and a bond as old as time springs forth like an uncorked genie.

Of course the fires of passion still burn brightly and the consequences of this singular show of love won't register until much later. for now, a little voice is saying, " all in good time, come on let's savor this once in a lifetime moment."

What has happened is exactly as nature has intended. The female need not turn on any particular charm but display the soft, smooth limbs, dainty arched feet, clean lines and secondary sexual characteristics that are designed to catch a mate. so a couple of friends commenting on a local town "babe," have this to say: "Those lips! They don't need any of that red stuff, why they look ....... like.... a Georgia Okeefe painting!

Couple these physical qualities with a naturally clever mind that is quick to assimilate, store, and retrieve information, well....a man simply doesn't stand a chance.

And it's true, isn't it? The fair sex makes the male look ape like by comparison.My experiences do not include many friendships with members of the opposite sex because that isn't the purpose they were designed for.

Only you may decide whether to risk what you have with her now or take a chance and lose everything. So you bring it up with her and she laughs, doesn't take you seriously, or says, for example, " I been meaning to talk to you about that!"

If she is truly your friend, then a subject that often comes up between a man and woman should be a snap to bring up between the two of you. She might surprise you and be completely open and honest about it. Sometimes a woman will say: "Oh yeah, that--I tossed it around between my mates and they don't like it. Neither do I. So cool it!"

Sometimes,(usually) it's best to just talk to your friend about it(that's what friends are for, isn't it? If you keep it inside she will suspect you are hiding something. Remember, you have your whole life ahead of you and many opportunities to encounter potential life partners. Accept that she is off limits, and, if she is receptive, think of all those responsibilities that will put your back straight Chores like taking out the garbage and cutting the grass on her fathers acre of land will seem like childs play! Good luck.... ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


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    • Dr. Amilia profile image

      Dr. Amilia 6 years ago

      Lovely hub.

    • LondonGirl profile image

      LondonGirl 8 years ago from London

      lovely hub.

      It can work - my boyfriend and I were in the same position, and the same age, as you. 11 years later, we're still happy and together.

    • bhalla_neet profile image

      Ravneet 9 years ago from Delhi

      Beautiful hub!