- Gender and Relationships
Romance, Marriage, and Relationships—8 Huge Myths You Need to Know About
After over 25 years of empirical research involving relationships, spirituality, personality and compatibility assessment, matching and observing thousands for love relationships as a matchmaker, and writing a book about soul mates, we've noticed that there are many love life expectations and myths that repeatedly trip up even the most intelligent and otherwise successful people.
Consider the points below to make the most of your love life, whether you are single or involved.
1) “The love of my life.” You don’t know who the love of your life is until the last day of your life.
2) Only one soul mate? The myth that everyone has only one soul mate, if you happen to believe in the concept of soul mates, causes plenty of problems. Metaphysical research has shown that everyone has many soul mates. Of course, some are much more compatible than others, and it’s not always obvious at first.
3) “You are my one and only.” This idea can work temporarily, but it may be unnatural, and considering the high rates of cheating, the majority of people are unable to actually live it permanently.
4) “You are my everything.” This is the ideal, and certainly a nice thought, but how many can live up to such high standards? Frankly, it’s often unrealistic and unfair to expect one person to fulfill all your needs for the rest of your life.
5) “Together forever.” It’s okay to hope that a relationship lasts “forever.” Unfortunately, most don’t. Our findings indicate that all relationships have destined beginning and ending times. If you think about it, it really doesn’t make much sense to expect a relationship to last from age 25 to 85 since everyone is always evolving, changing, improving, and sometimes regressing at different rates.
Are you the same person you were 20 years ago? Probably not. Do you expect your best friend from 6th grade to be your best friend when you’re 80? It can happen, but it’s rare. Do you expect to have your first job for the rest of your life? No. Granted, many couples can “grow old” together and are destined to do so, but for others, it’s just not meant to be long term. Resisting this will only cause more heartache and stress.
6) “The relationship failed if it didn’t last a lifetime.” As mentioned above, our findings show that all relationships have destined beginnings and endings. Some are meant to be short-term (even if the couple chooses to stay together as, essentially, roommates), and some are meant to be long-term. Whether or not you learned what you were meant to from the experience, not how many years you were together, is of most importance.
7) “My twin soul or twin flame.” Supposedly, if you find the “other half” of your soul, if you believe in this concept, you will experience a love relationship of the highest kind. This sounds nice, but common sense, along with our findings, clearly point to the idea that the theory is a complete myth. One of the problems with this belief is that it may cause people to have incredibly high expectations of partners that no one could possibly meet. It’s always best to accept each partner and relationship as they are meant to be, rather than what you want them to be.
8) “My Other Half.” Two half people create a dysfunctional mess. A better approach is to accept that you’re already a whole person. If you don’t feel that you are yet, realizing why, perhaps through therapy, and making the most of yourself will eventually allow you to be happy and single and experience a more compatible relationship.
Copyright © 2009 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo