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My Roommate Rants: Insecurities in Women

Updated on July 26, 2012

The psychology of women

The female mind. It is incredible, brilliant, fascinating, and I haven't the slightest clue what is going on up there! First of all, women remember everything and when I say everything, I mean they can recall the slightest little gesture and response that comes out of your mouth (you being the man). Furthermore, they proceed to analyze all of these little gestures and comments, and expect you to understand where they are coming from and for you to act accordingly. Of course, I'm generalizing and falling into gender stereotypes here. I realize that not every woman thinks and reacts in this manner (although I'm convinced that this syndrome, for lack of a better word, is embedded somewhere deep in that extra X chromosome of theirs). Regardless of the reason, some women tend to take this analysis quite literally and then are either offended or hurt by what the man said. From my own experience, I can say that most men do not intend to humiliate the woman, in fact, most times they are trying to be funny.

My roommate fell victim to this very scenario the other day, and voila, a roommate rant is born. Let's dive in!

The Background

The day was St. Patrick's Day, of all days, and my roommate was working a shift at a restaurant called Sticky Fingers.

For those who don't know the serving industry, it's an odd and crazy world and they must find ways to amuse themselves to avoid going absolutely insane. They do a variety of things to keep the 'flow' going such as play pranks, make funny gestures, be outrageously nice to customers (by the way, if the server sounds like they are being sarcastic to you, they probably are! Because no matter what you may say, no matter how original you think you are, chances are they have heard it and heard it may times) and they also insult each other.

My roommate happens to love the crazy insult, the ultimate diss, and saying the most horrific nasty things. Honestly, some of what comes out of his mouth is messed up but has you literally rolling all over that floor (ROFL), laughing your merry head off along the way. He doesn't hold back, he lets it all out, full blast and he doesn't care about gender, race, age, or whatever. Nobody takes him seriously until he hits...the soft spot.

Gentlemen (and ladies) I think you know exactly what the soft spot is. The spot that every woman holds deep within them, and if you hit's over.


One of the female servers is jiving back and forth with my roommate, laughing and cracking jokes all night. He says some messed up stuff and she counters him with how bad his game is both on and off the court (they play the occasional tennis match together). She berates him with a number of insults calling him a worthless bum, scumbag, and the bottom of this the fish barrel or something to that effect.

Then my roommate says it...hits the spot.

He says, "Well, you should do something about that growth on your upper lip. It's growing in kinda heavy there."

She stops in her tracks and sits down in the booth next to her. The waitress says nothing and then starts tearing up. She places her head in her arms. My roommate tries to console her, flowering her with compliments and apologies, but the damage is already done. She is humiliated, devastated and there is nothing he can do about it. She doesn't talk to him for the rest of the night (or since).

Again, I must point out (for my roommates' sake), that she said things that were just as vile and insensitive as the quoted insult above.

My Roommate Rant

The rant begins. My roommate approaches me with a complaint and he starts off slow and a little whiny.

Roommate says, "I don't get it. Why can't women just be cool, you know? They can be cool as a cat one minute, and then if you hit that nerve, they crumble. They get all sensitive and self-loathing. I just don't get it."

He doesn't give me a chance for a rebuttal, so I just listen.

He continues, "Why can't they be more like guys? You can BS with them, say some "F'ed" up things, and the guy will be just fine. He might throw some things back at ya but that's to be expected. Chicks are different. They'll laugh their butt off when it isn't about them, but the moment you say something that threatens their inner psyche it's like a time bomb...And they either explode or implode on you."

I nod in agreement, although the simplicity of his statement is a little crude and obnoxious.

He roars on, "She [the female he insulted] lost cool points."

I say, "Cool points?"

He nods, "Ya, cool points. In my book, every chick has a certain about of 'man' cool points based on what they do and how they react. Like if they come back at me with a joke or insult after I say something, they get some points. If they are laid back and they don't act like a total (you know what) then they get points. If they just act like a normal person and don't get caught up in their overanalyzes of what you said, then they get cool points...She lost some cool points today."

The rant roars on, "Whatever, I'm done with this! For now on I'm not saying a word to them. I'll just serve my customers and that is that. I hate that I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time. I hate it!"

men and women differences

I think it is obvious that he is a little mad and frustrated. I know there have been plenty of times where I had to stick my own foot in my mouth because I supposedly said the wrong thing to a woman. I believe my roommate is right and wrong. Also, I know that if you say the wrong thing to a guy, he'll either punch you or laugh right along with you (usually the latter). On the contrary, if you say the wrong thing to a woman, you'll be apologizing for hours, sometimes days and weeks depending on the severity of the insensitive comment. In short, men and women differences are just that: completely different in almost every way. The best way to solve the issue is to avoid each other at all costs! We have to because I don't think one gender is going to budge on way or another!

In the end, women might just be insane.


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    • drej2522 profile image

      drej2522 7 years ago from Augusta, GA

      Lady ~ Thanks for stopping by!

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 7 years ago from London, UK

      Interesting read... Thanks.

    • drej2522 profile image

      drej2522 7 years ago from Augusta, GA

      hey there, Stimp. Yeah, I've just recently popped back on hubpages too. I may join in on the next 60 day challenge...

      As far as the 'cool points' are concerned, I believe that's all my roommate was looking for...the small penis comment would be appropriate! :)

      Thanks for stopping by Stimp!

    • Stimp profile image

      Stimp 7 years ago from Upper Midwest

      Aright....I'm back....let ME clarify....don't ever ever ever....NEVER EVER....make a comment about a female's "person". That being their physical body....EVER EVER EVER. UNLESS, and only UNLESS it's something along the line of "OMG!! Have you lost look so thin." "OMG!! I love what you've done to your hair, it makes your eyes stand out EVEN MORE." Now, when I read the part about him saying that thing about the girls hair growth....I stopped dead in my tracks as well. I WANTED to cry for her. All night she was insecure about her hair growth. Every person she came across, when looking at her....she thought "they are staring at my hair growth". My response to him probably would have been along the lines of..."oh REEEAAALLY? Well, ya know the funny thing is I can shave this tonight and it'll be good tomorrow. You on the other hand, will ALWAYS wake up with a small penis. Sorry 'bout it." Thus, earning "cool points"

    • jamexican profile image

      jamexican 7 years ago from oceanside,ca

      lol i love this b/c this is how i act some of the time....yeah its nice to joke around,but from my point of view...guys say off the wall shit thats y girls say the things they do and they keep goin...guys really dont care...on the other hand girls are a differnt story....they have issues tat bug them espically when it comes to their i said i act like this too....and i tend to feel bad at the end for the guy,but im not apologizing im just stubborn...and i dont think i should...guys should just think about sayin things about girls apperances before they speak...hahahaha....but i like this hub its cool....not i know wat to watch out for and how to act

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Wow that was so cool Dre. You are the bees knees!!!

    • SummerSteward profile image

      SummerSteward 7 years ago from Duluth MN

      this is yet another consequence of media influenced women. Women grow up questioning why they are not like that girl or that girl or that girl, always faltering over one perception after another finding ways and means to become better, to shed another pound, to wax nasty hairs, to look like the girls on TV and the cover of VOGUE.. and of course if any man hit's that spot, that obsessive unrealistic want to be prettier, sexier, skinnier she will snap IF she isn't comfortable in her skin and the idea of never being quite like what's she's learned she's supposed to be. I liked your hub! I found it entertaining and hilarious. I know a few dudes like this, in fact they are some of my best friends... however they have NEVER said anything like that to me.

    • drej2522 profile image

      drej2522 7 years ago from Augusta, GA

      thanks cheryl! It IS a learning process, isn't it? Just when we think we have it figured out, something new pops in there. Thanks again!

    • _cheryl_ profile image

      _cheryl_ 7 years ago from California

      It's a lifelong learning process! lol! It does go both ways though. It just makes it even more rewarding when you do find relationships/frienships with the oppposite sex that just flow right. Nice hub. =)

    • drej2522 profile image

      drej2522 7 years ago from Augusta, GA

      Thanks Wren! I'm flattered. You're always very gracious and say the right things! And yes, they do!...dammit they do! :)

    • wrenfrost56 profile image

      wrenfrost56 7 years ago from U.K.

      Another great hub chris, I really enjoy your writing style and yes your right, women really do remember everything! :)

    • drej2522 profile image

      drej2522 7 years ago from Augusta, GA

      Thanks Paradise...Yeah, it's deinitely hard. I think as a whole men actually care what women think, but we don't comprehend the sensitivity issue. Tough, Paradise, tough.

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 7 years ago from Upstate New York

      I feel sorry for the dude but I understand the woman completely. You just can't explain it to men. They don't get it and they never will...they'll just keep on being themselves. They don't care if women find them loathsome to the nth degree for something they said.

    • drej2522 profile image

      drej2522 7 years ago from Augusta, GA

      haha...very true...I'll definitely keep it in mind!

    • TrixieGator profile image

      TrixieGator 7 years ago

      lol..never ever a woman even if she obviously 9 months pregnant ."when is your baby due"..just another one of those spots that will get you in trouble everytime..