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Rotted Love

Updated on February 4, 2015

Disclaimer

This article is not to be used for anything other than the purpose for food for thought. This advice shouldn't be used in replacement for medical treatment. I am not a medical professional, this advice comes from personal experience, opinion based, and behavioral studies. Please don't leave hateful or rude comments at the bottom of the page as those will be deleted. Feedback negative or positive done in a respectful manner is valued and appreciated.

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When you're in love

Every great story always starts with the "magical" feeling of falling in love. Although the ending, if there is one, is not always as magical. In fact most break-ups are filled with bad feelings like hurt, anger, and an extreme break of trust. The purpose of this article is to be able to understand when you're love has rotted away and if you should save it. So how does love so pure rot away? Well it starts with a few things, but regardless of the reasons for you're break-up this article maybe able to shed some light on a few things. So without anymore hesitation lets jump right into it!

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Rotted love reason #1

The first and always most damning reason for rotted love is an extreme break of trust. When you're in a relationship, everyone has their own guidelines as to what is acceptable and what isn't acceptable. These are usually very clear before entering the relationship, or become clear during the relationship via disputes between each other. Trust as strong, powerful, and necessary to any relationship is a very fickle beast. Meaning that it can be easily broken and become a factor in the overall decision to break-up.

So what can make an extreme break of trust? Well for example, when you're partner shares his or her time with someone else that makes you feel uncomfortable. Despite the consistent disputes about you not wanting your partner's time spent with this person. Your partner decides to lie to your face and go behind your back spending time with this person. This breaks the trust because it sends the message to you that your feelings regarding this person means nothing and isn't valued. When someone loves you, regardless if the feeling is justified or not your partner should value and respect your personal feelings above all else.

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Rotted love reason #2

The second most pressing reason for rotted love is anger. Anger is like a poison when you're in a relationship or when you're with someone you love. Although what causes anger? Where does it stem from? Anger typically in this case comes from a lack of being heard or understood. Most couples end an otherwise good relationship because they feel not heard or understood. When your not being heard or understood that sends the message that your feelings are worthless and have no value.

For an example, when you have disputes with your partner and your not getting along. Does your partner make you feel like your feelings are heard or understood? If your partner makes you feel like they don't give a damn about your feelings, or that your feelings don't mean anything because they don't listen. Then that is a sure indication that anger will rise like poison being injected into your bloodstream. You will eventually come to the point where you feel that your relationship is pointless and a waste of time.

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Rotted love reason #3

Although there is so many reasons for rotted love, I will end it with this last one. Resentment. Resentment happens, when your partner has made you overall, feel that your not as special to them as you should be. Meaning they made you feel like you're just a means to end, or that until they find someone better they will stay with you. This resentment is like a full loaded big bullet into a gun that keeps being fired by your partner by their actions towards you. What causes this fully loaded bullet of resentment?

Lets answer that question with an example shall we? Your partner and you don't do anything special anymore, don't go out together, don't go to family functions together, don't take pictures together, don't call each other pet names for each other, and most importantly don't tell you how special and meaningful you are to them. All these things when done in a relationship, send the message to your partner that there loved and an important part of your life. Resentment builds quickly and works faster than poison because it is an instant feeling. Like getting shot, if it isn't avoided than your hit. This resentment grows when your partner does actions like making someone else feel more special than you.

I love this song, so smart

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Rotted love to save or not?

So this brings us to our last and most pressing question. When you're love has rotted away do you save it or not? Now some people like to play the hero and say to themselves that they can save it. They tell themselves that they can fix it. That the cure for this will "magically" appear to them if they stay. All of my examples if you noticed come from what your PARTNER did not from what YOU did. That means that you can't change it, you can't fix it, and you can't save it. They would have to change and unless they want too do that then it is over. You can love them until you face turns blue, but they will continue this behavior because that is who they are.

You get who they are, not what you want them to be! This rotted love is indication that not only is your partner extremely selfish and self involved. They aren't capable of loving you because they don't love themselves enough to value you. They just want a good time and expect you not to have ANY feelings like a robot. What happens if you try to save it? Well you will be driving yourself insane. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Not every love game is worth winning, sometimes loss is what makes you a better and strong individual. So when do play the love game again you will have better odds of winning someone who will love you they way they should forever.

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Final note to readers

My last advice to all my readers is that when love has rotted away it is time to move on. Simply because if your love was meant to be it would get bruised, damaged, but never broken. It wouldn't get so rotted away that is beyond repair or unable to eat from. Like a rotted fruit its time to throw it away, would you eat a completely rotted fruit? No because it would only cause you great sickness or possibly kill you. The same thing with rotted love. Moving on isn't easy, simply because readjusting isn't very easy. Being lonely isn't easy, but take heart readers your suffering will one day be repaid if you hold out for someone better! I hope you found this article informative, inspiring, and heartfelt. Until next time readers, take care ciao.

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    • Mistressoflove profile image
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      Mistressoflove 2 years ago from Rhode Island

      I really like what you said dashing. I do actually agree with you, although when in a relationship I believe you need to respect each others feelings even if they are good or bad. If you can't do that then why be in a relationship? That is my underlined point with that statement. Not that my article is the right or wrong way to love, its just one side of a coin. Obviously if someone has many failed relationships then certain things need to be re-examined within themselves. I agree with that. Thank you very much for sharing your comment with everyone. It is appreciated and respected!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      "When someone loves you, regardless if the feeling is (justified or not) your partner should value and respect your personal feelings above all else." It's this belief that causes many heartaches!

      Each of us has our own idea of what love is supposed to look and feel like. However a lot of us assume our way of expressing love is the "universal way".

      In the beginning of most new relationships comes the "Infatuation Phase". During this period both people are bending over backwards to impress each other. Rarely is the word "no" ever mentioned as neither person does not want to say or do anything that would cause the object of their affection to flee. Both people make it their priority to make sure the other person is happy. It's only natural to believe you've met "the one"!

      However after the "first fight" or disagreement is when people begin to reveal their differences and "authentic selves". You start to observe each other's boundaries or express your "deal breakers". Oftentimes people will try to accommodate one another even if it's not something they believe in. Eventually they revert back to who they are and issues arise again.

      The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things that you do for the relationship, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another. This takes time!

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them as (is) or move on. The choice is up to us!

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      If someone is experiencing having one bad relationship after another it's probably time for them to re-examine their "mate selection" criteria. After all the only thing in common with all of your relationships is (you)!