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Sam A Beautiful Dating Transformation Story

Updated on March 19, 2016

The Evolution of Sam –Married at First Sight

Sam is an excellent role model for women that take strength to another level when dating. Watching her grow, change, open up and become aware of self-sabotaging behavior was amazing. Sometimes the greatest experiences come from vulnerability not railroading and being hard.

Great movie line: The key is to be strong not hard.

On Decision Day-Sam expressed some beautiful parts of herself when she was strong enough to say:

“I’m in it (marriage) to have a family. Someone who cares about me. “I think of my grandpa holding my grandmothers hand (when she passed). I don’t want to be in a bed by myself (and pass) with no one there that I love.” (Sam's words)

Married at First Sight. Psychologists, Relationship Experts, and Spiritual Advisors pick the person you marry. The first time you meet that person is on your wedding day. Extreme but for some couples they do the work and stay together. For others it’s clear that some individuals are not comfortable being vulnerable, remain stuck in their experiences of failed relationships, refuse to give 100%, and remain unwilling to understand anyone else’s viewpoint other than their own. One of the greatest truths the show reveals is how people may believe they are ready for marriage however they haven’t dealt with their own personal issues based on areas of opportunities for change, family dynamics, and relationships. No one else can heal one’s issues except for that individual person. We can want a healthy relationship however if we haven’t witnessed what that is or experienced healthy relationships then why would one believe they are capable achieving such? Therapist are there for a reason and sometimes the easiest thing to do is to discuss the issues that prevent one from achieving relationship success rather than believing some of your behavior and actions are normal when it’s not.

In the beginning Sam started her marriage with hurtful words expressing how she was not attracted to him, questioning her husband’s behavior in front of cameras, and making it clear sex was off the table. He chose to try and commit to the time it would take for her to grow to care and love him initially. Unfortunately words are powerful they can heal and they can also destroy. When in the realm of love which required vulnerability, when the object of your attention constantly destroys you with words those words are not easily forgotten.

Sam and Neil Decision Day

Why I Love Sam

She is a hero for the modern terminator style of woman determined to take charge and control everything. The prototype: successful, accomplished, and in control of her life in all aspects with the exception of love. Sam was clear that she was not sexually attracted to her new husband and continued to maintain control at all times while finding disappointment that her new husband refused to stand up and take charge to her expectations. Here’s a secret, on a two party team both people can’t be the captain giving orders. A man needs to feel respected in a relationship.

A change came when Sam’s eyes were open to knowing that she can’t handle everything by herself. When Neil and Sam were on vacation and they almost had an accident, she was really shaken up. Neil stepping up and taking control of the situation and later calming her opened her eyes to know that there is a beauty in having someone else there for you. Allowing yourself to be comforted and having someone there for you to see the things you may not is a strength and added benefit to partnership.

As her affection grew for him you noticed she became more loving. She became more willing to be vulnerable. More hugs and the occasional compliment went a long way. However, it was devastating when she was open enough to share with Neil that she missed him and he didn’t reciprocate. Unfortunately Sam tried to be loving and vulnerable and when it wasn’t returned she was hurt and expressed that without lashing out further but he read her disappointment. In an effort to make up for the lack of returned feelings Neil made it up to her and she expressed her gratitude for his care and was affectionate.

Moving forward to decision day –stay married or divorce

Sam expressed how she could have really hurt him and said hurtful things to him which might make him leave her. That was the fear that she had going into decision day. Everyone’s heart broke when Neil stated he didn’t want to be married.

After the show Sam has continued to show growth and develop into a loving woman that has a beautiful spirit. This experience has made her better and I still see the possibilities of Neil and Sam staying married or getting remarried. Love is not something you can dictate, control, and boss it is a shared experience with the commitment to grow together staying committed to your union once married. It’s not all about you and what you demand but having the desire to love and please your partner as well. When one reaches the understanding that love is an action word and a team sport the possibility of having love and a happier life is possible.

Sam has a beautiful spirit that is coming out and she’s evolving into a loving wonderful person. Her guard is down, the strong woman is still there but the tough shield has been removed and it’s beautiful. There is nothing more humbling to accept one’s role in a situation that did not turn out favorably. Her honesty is beautiful and there is so much many woman can learn from this situation.

Have you ever dated a woman that challenged your manhood?

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Honesty Truth Accountability

There are many single women today that want love but don’t know how to be loving. Just because you wear a dress does not make you a lady. Men are voting silently on this new bossy, controlling, authoritative, and dictating woman. They are silently deciding not to be in a relationship with you. If you can achieve everything except a successful relationship sometimes we must wonder although everything may look great on paper and your body: What is it inside of you that might not be so appealing? While you can boss and take over everything; a man still needs to smell the roses.

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    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 

      2 years ago from Philippines

      I have a lot of single friends who regret that they never married. They are wonderful women. But I don't know if a one-day courtship would work for them either. This is a very interesting story.

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