ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Sam A Beautiful Dating Transformation Story

Updated on March 19, 2016

The Evolution of Sam –Married at First Sight

Sam is an excellent role model for women that take strength to another level when dating. Watching her grow, change, open up and become aware of self-sabotaging behavior was amazing. Sometimes the greatest experiences come from vulnerability not railroading and being hard.

Great movie line: The key is to be strong not hard.

On Decision Day-Sam expressed some beautiful parts of herself when she was strong enough to say:

“I’m in it (marriage) to have a family. Someone who cares about me. “I think of my grandpa holding my grandmothers hand (when she passed). I don’t want to be in a bed by myself (and pass) with no one there that I love.” (Sam's words)

Married at First Sight. Psychologists, Relationship Experts, and Spiritual Advisors pick the person you marry. The first time you meet that person is on your wedding day. Extreme but for some couples they do the work and stay together. For others it’s clear that some individuals are not comfortable being vulnerable, remain stuck in their experiences of failed relationships, refuse to give 100%, and remain unwilling to understand anyone else’s viewpoint other than their own. One of the greatest truths the show reveals is how people may believe they are ready for marriage however they haven’t dealt with their own personal issues based on areas of opportunities for change, family dynamics, and relationships. No one else can heal one’s issues except for that individual person. We can want a healthy relationship however if we haven’t witnessed what that is or experienced healthy relationships then why would one believe they are capable achieving such? Therapist are there for a reason and sometimes the easiest thing to do is to discuss the issues that prevent one from achieving relationship success rather than believing some of your behavior and actions are normal when it’s not.

In the beginning Sam started her marriage with hurtful words expressing how she was not attracted to him, questioning her husband’s behavior in front of cameras, and making it clear sex was off the table. He chose to try and commit to the time it would take for her to grow to care and love him initially. Unfortunately words are powerful they can heal and they can also destroy. When in the realm of love which required vulnerability, when the object of your attention constantly destroys you with words those words are not easily forgotten.

Sam and Neil Decision Day

Why I Love Sam

She is a hero for the modern terminator style of woman determined to take charge and control everything. The prototype: successful, accomplished, and in control of her life in all aspects with the exception of love. Sam was clear that she was not sexually attracted to her new husband and continued to maintain control at all times while finding disappointment that her new husband refused to stand up and take charge to her expectations. Here’s a secret, on a two party team both people can’t be the captain giving orders. A man needs to feel respected in a relationship.

A change came when Sam’s eyes were open to knowing that she can’t handle everything by herself. When Neil and Sam were on vacation and they almost had an accident, she was really shaken up. Neil stepping up and taking control of the situation and later calming her opened her eyes to know that there is a beauty in having someone else there for you. Allowing yourself to be comforted and having someone there for you to see the things you may not is a strength and added benefit to partnership.

As her affection grew for him you noticed she became more loving. She became more willing to be vulnerable. More hugs and the occasional compliment went a long way. However, it was devastating when she was open enough to share with Neil that she missed him and he didn’t reciprocate. Unfortunately Sam tried to be loving and vulnerable and when it wasn’t returned she was hurt and expressed that without lashing out further but he read her disappointment. In an effort to make up for the lack of returned feelings Neil made it up to her and she expressed her gratitude for his care and was affectionate.

Moving forward to decision day –stay married or divorce

Sam expressed how she could have really hurt him and said hurtful things to him which might make him leave her. That was the fear that she had going into decision day. Everyone’s heart broke when Neil stated he didn’t want to be married.

After the show Sam has continued to show growth and develop into a loving woman that has a beautiful spirit. This experience has made her better and I still see the possibilities of Neil and Sam staying married or getting remarried. Love is not something you can dictate, control, and boss it is a shared experience with the commitment to grow together staying committed to your union once married. It’s not all about you and what you demand but having the desire to love and please your partner as well. When one reaches the understanding that love is an action word and a team sport the possibility of having love and a happier life is possible.

Sam has a beautiful spirit that is coming out and she’s evolving into a loving wonderful person. Her guard is down, the strong woman is still there but the tough shield has been removed and it’s beautiful. There is nothing more humbling to accept one’s role in a situation that did not turn out favorably. Her honesty is beautiful and there is so much many woman can learn from this situation.

Have you ever dated a woman that challenged your manhood?

See results

Honesty Truth Accountability

There are many single women today that want love but don’t know how to be loving. Just because you wear a dress does not make you a lady. Men are voting silently on this new bossy, controlling, authoritative, and dictating woman. They are silently deciding not to be in a relationship with you. If you can achieve everything except a successful relationship sometimes we must wonder although everything may look great on paper and your body: What is it inside of you that might not be so appealing? While you can boss and take over everything; a man still needs to smell the roses.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 

      2 years ago from Philippines

      I have a lot of single friends who regret that they never married. They are wonderful women. But I don't know if a one-day courtship would work for them either. This is a very interesting story.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)