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How to Save My Marriage Advice -10 Tips to Saving Your Relationship- Staying Together

Updated on January 28, 2014

You Can Save Your Marriage when growing apart.


Saving a marriage comes down to one thing and that is to do whatever you can to make it work. If you are serious about saving your marriage you have to work on it all of the time. As you can see in my article “How to Spend Time with Your Spouse”, preventing a divorce is a planned effort to take seriously from the very start.

I know that you are too smart to think that there is a magic pill you can give your spouse to erase the pain and problems that are affecting the marriage and that you will not escape the questions your spouse will demand answers to when confronted.

I do however want you to know that doing whatever it takes to regain respect and harmony in saving your marriage is worth it.

Don’t assume you already lost your wife, this assumption will prevent you from hearing the advice load and clear. Remember that all things are possible and that there are worse husbands that have gotten back together with their wife.

You may be :

  • · Arguing about nothing and everything.
  • · Staying out after hours.
  • · Spending more time with friends.
  • · Not helping out with home chores/family.


This is what happens when we grow apart. Of course this is not a good sign and can lead to a separation, cheating and/or divorce. Not to mention how your children’s present and future relationships are affected by the drama. You will not only be saving your relationship but your children’s as well whether you live together or not.

How Did Your Marriage Grow Apart?

Growing apart in a marriage is something that happens slowly and gradually. We get caught up at work; forget to kiss good-by or hello. We also stop sharing and appreciating each other’s efforts to make our lives easier turning our daily chores into thankless jobs.

In a relationship one person is never the blame even if the other is the hurt party. It is always important to tell your spouse what you need or what is missing. There is no reason for cheating. But through therapy, even that can be forgiven with time.

Although it will take much time to regain trust. If cheating is still an issue divorce, disease, or worse is expected. (An abuse situation is different. If you are physically abused or doing the abuse. Seek help now!)

Can you remember the last time you told your spouse how you appreciate the small things they do to make your life easier? Do you remember the last time you just held hands and talked? When the small important connections stop, so does the marriage.


Looking for "save my marriage advice" means nothing if both parties are not committed to fighting to save their relationship.

Saving your marriage that is already in a crisis will take bravery and much effort. The problem has to be addressed and the desire to fix the marriage has to be agreed by both parties. There will have to be ground rules for communicating established. This may have to be done with a third party or therapist.

There is no room for egos when fighting for your marriage. You will have to strip away your pride and come clean if you want to win your love back. Your spouse will know if you are not serious about saving your dying relationship and you may lose them forever. Matters of the heart are a very serious concern.

If therapy is out of the question it is best to get a relationship course to help you learn how to communicate without judgment and enhance your listening skills. It has already been established that you both need help and want to work on your marriage or you wouldn’t be reading this article now.

Wanting to save your marriage is half the battle. Doing whatever you have to do to make is work is necessary to make it a reality. Are you willing to fight and do what you have to do as a couple to save your marriage? Great! You will have to be:


  • Nonjudgmental- Never judge and blame during conversations.
  • Forgiven- When you forgive, mean it and don’t keep reopening the issue.
  • Humility- Never raise you voices when trying to get your point across. You want your spouse to be able to address all issues and not shut down.
  • Respectful-Respectfully listen/talk and have the courtesy not to interrupt. I don’t care who makes the money! A marriage is a partnership, agree? You don’t have one without your partner.


Save My Marriage Advice

Your relationship may seem broken to you but this is only temporary. You have not learned the psychology of how a mind work or group training strategies so challenges are to be expected. If football coaches can teach groups of men to work as a winning time. Two people that love each other can do the same. So, we can agree that help is needed.

10 Tips To Saving Your Relationship

  1. Seek relationship advice as a couple.
  2. Do something nice for your partner everyday.
  3. Always let your partner know that you love them.
  4. Never take you partner for granted.
  5. Always apologize when your wrong.
  6. Always publicly support by your partner.
  7. Do not hide important information from each other.
  8. If you can't do something say it.
  9. If you forget to do something say it then apologize.
  10. When you forgive. Leave it in the past.

A relationship course or therapist can teach you both how to have a loving marriage with effective communication in time. You can learn how to deal with issues in a courteous and loving manner. You will also learn how to forgive and move on if there is no hopes or reconciliation.

The bottom line is, if you are committed and believe you are with your soul-mate, separating is not an option. You are in what is called, the hard times; it is the ultimate test to weather the storm and reap the untold rewards of trust, respect and love on such an incredible level. Can you pass this test?. Hopefully these tips in saving your relationship has been helpful and you can see that a long lasting relationship has to be worked on. Read "5 Secrets to a Successful Marriage" for more relationship advice. Blessings.

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    • Elearn4Life profile imageAUTHOR

      Darlene Matthews 

      4 years ago

      @Nabil - In any relationship we should always be able to respectfully express how we fill. There is no room for harsh words, loud voices or put downs in a loving discussion. Forgiveness is great along with truces and compromises.

      Thanks for sharing Nabil;)

    • Elearn4Life profile imageAUTHOR

      Darlene Matthews 

      4 years ago

      @Tamara- I believe sex is like the gas and oil that keep our cars running . In the beginning we are excited about doing it and later we keep doing it because it's a necessity. I am not a professional therapist, but I do know men have needs and so do women. Find out if your going through chemical imbalances with your doctor and talk to your husband. There can be many other factors to you feeling this way. Are you still made to feel sexy and b beautiful? Are you still dating each other? He taking pride in his appearance? Work together to address this issue. I don't feel like making love all the time but I sure love being loved up by my man and couldn't bare anyony taking up the slack for me.

      Blessings

    • profile image

      tamara schie 

      4 years ago

      Me and my husband have been married for 30 years and i don't know what is wrong with me i don't want to do anything in bed with him i love him and i want to be with him i need help so i don't want to lose my husband please help

    • Nabil Ansari profile image

      Nabil Ansari 

      4 years ago from Mumbai, India

      Awesome advice. Even though I'm not married, I actually used this advice to improve my relationship with my girlfriend. And after having a huge fight (in which usually she wins), I did forgive her for everything she said. Feeling great now, because there is nothing that I need to worry about in my relationship.

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