Saving a Marriage/No Divorce
The Truth of Divorce
Just The Facts -50% of marriages end in divorce in America.
The ripple effects are well known. Financial ruin, lack of visitation for parents, psychological trauma, trouble making sure children do not experience lower self-esteem or other issues, and the difficulty of both partners to put their life back in order. While the therapist offices, local bars, churches, single wild life, and other vices to recovery from the devastating effects one can only wonder could you have saved the relationship? The question is posed, did you really give it your all? Did you know how to have a healthy relationship, choose a good partner, and do you part to contribute to the success of the marriage? This is an internal question one must ask and analyze before the process of healing to occur. While there is no such thing as the ideal wife or the ideal husband-Could the relationship have worked if both parties were willing to dedicate themselves to making things better?
Desire For Change
If you keep doing what you’re doing you will continue to get what you get. That’s not true of just marriage and relationships-but it’s a true principle in life. So here are the questions that may dance around in your head after the divorce or while you are in this desolate place in your marriage without direction of where to go from here:
- How can we get back to where we once were?
- How can I get that spark back in my marriage or relationship?
- Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?
- What can I give or do to make my spouse know that I care?
- Can I be vulnerable enough with my partner to share my feelings without anger or coldness?
- What am I willing to do in order to make this work?
- What will it take to stay here and rebuild this house (unit)?
Baseball Analogy - When you are up to bat and you have two strikes, you swing at everything! So when your relationship is in the dirt you try everything to bring your partnership to a better place.
Why is it in relationships, as adults, we become too strong to say how we feel? Why is it that as children we are okay expressing how we feel however when we become adults we hide so much from one another? Why can’t people get psychological help, guidance from happily married couples, or study what went right/wrong in our parents’ marriages so a better path could be followed?
"I was wrong."
"I hurt you."
"I miss you."
"I want you."
"I need you."
"I am committed to making this work."
"I love you."
So what happens when we become vulnerable enough to ask the questions needed to sustain a marriage? Knowledge and wisdom is gained even if the marriage fails at least you tried your hardest so you never live in regret wondering what could have been done differently. So while there are thousands of advertisements there are fewer courses and information on how to save your marriage. Then you here wonderful true stories of those who have been married 10-20-30-40-50 years and you often witness compassion, understanding, giving, and understanding amongst both parties that it beautiful to witness.