- Gender and Relationships
Saving sex for marriage...is it possible?
Waiting for marriage is possible but it is also very hard. You've made a commitment to yourself and God to save yourself for marriage. Whether you are a virgin or decided to start a new leaf and abstain from sex. So far it’s been easy because you've surrounded yourself with supportive friends, become very busy picking up some extra actives, you’re in charge of every small group at church and you are single. But then you meet someone and month or two later you fall in love. Now your hormones are going crazy because you desire to be with them. What do you do?
It says in 1 Corinthians 7:9 “But if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Sounds like a pretty easy solution, but as we all know marriage is very serious, a huge commitment, a covenant. The lack of self-control is surely not a reason to enter into a marriage. Yet Paul tells us, it is better to marry than to give into our passion thus committing fornication. Paul advises us so because fornication is not to be taken lightly. In 1Corinthians 6:18 it says “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” Then it goes on to say in verse 19 that “Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own.”
I say again fornication is not to be taken lightly. It is a sin against your own body. Imagine the guilt you will inflect upon yourself. You will have prayed to God for forgiveness but unable to forgive yourself. How will you be able to do God’s work when you have burden yourself with such troubles? That is why it is important for us to leave sex for the marriage bed. Easier said than done. Well, here's a few tips that should help.
Remain single until you know for sure without a doubt that you are absolutely ready for marriage. It is not good to date freely without intention to marry. It only creates a doorway for lust.
Find someone that shares the same values as you
“Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said.” 2 Corinthians 6:14
It is much easier to abstain from sex when you are with someone who believes the same as you. That way you don’t have to spend half your time explaining to them why you want to wait and trying to convince then to do the same. Life would be easier if you both where on the same page…no pressure.
Double date…a lot
When you do fine “the one” do not ever be alone with them. Go on dates with friends. Hang out with couples that are already married, they may be able to lend you some advice. Hang out in public, movies, mall, church functions.
Spend some time apart
You really don’t have to see each other every day. Being around each other all the time can create that passion we’re trying to conceal, as you’re bound to be physically attracted to each other.
Change the subject
Let’s be honest, the topic ‘sex’ will somehow sneak its way into your conversation. Ever since we were little Barney has thought us how to use our imagination. It’s kind of hard to talk about sex without imagining it.
Do not awaken love
The bible tells us not to “awake love until it is right.” Song of Solomon 8:4. Whatever turns you on…do on engage. Talking about it, kissing, touching, whatever it maybe, do not engage.
Do not date forever
Do not date forever, someone is bound to get frustrated and inpatient. If you know with all your heart you've found the right one, what are you waiting for? Why prolong the inevitable.
It is not going to be easy so you’re going to have to do a lot of praying. Pray for strength, Pray together. Abstaining from sex before marriage is not easy but very possible.