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Scorned and Troubled Family Pasts

Updated on December 11, 2014

State the Will to Trust

In the reality of today, there are so many broken families in the world that never found their way back into the loving graces of one another. In some cases, there may have been a death in the family and if the decedent never drafted a will, the grieving family not only has the left behind expenses to deal with, but the hurt that was left to burden someone that least expected it. I have heard a lot of scenarios where family members stopped speaking or even being cordial because of a death in the family. One person may feel that the decedent loved them more and they should therefore get a certain belonging to remember that deceased loved one by. Or maybe they felt they were to inherit money that was verbally promised to them by the decedent and no one else believes them and therefore the money left goes to some other expense that was not considered by decedent at that time they promised whatever fortune whether great or small.

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How Strong is Your Will?

At the end of the bickering and once final arrangements are made, the executor of any deceased persons estate or the beneficiary of life insurance policy holders have the task of getting the chance to really grieve their loss. Sometimes a deceased person leaves really no debt but in cases where they have left some debt, it has to be understood among the family what needs to be done and also discuss who will actually assist in getting those task done. At the end of the day, everyone believes that they are the just and rightful person for any responsibility there may be in order to prove something to themselves but in light of a death, there may have been at least one family member that never missed a visit or a chance to physically do something for the now deceased or maybe they ran every errand that was needed to increase the well-being and quality of life for the deceased, doesn’t mean that they are the chosen one to deal with a decedents estate or deal with the stress of preparing that person for burial. Getting things in order to execute the perfect and wished for funeral takes a certain strength that many find they never knew they even had. Peace of mind does come, but while tension is running high, and hearts are hurting, the family unit is crumbling for some and strengthening for others.

Rendering and Receiving Hurt..Is This You?

It’s almost certain that the phrases “They loved me more!”, or “They promised me this or that”, or “You were never around, where did you come from giving orders!” will be said by someone and those few words whether given or received can cause a lifetime of hurt and because someone important to them is dead and gone, they truly harbor those words as if they were the last words they were ever going to hear on this earth by the person that said them. Families that pray together stay together is the saying but when the heart is hurting or has been hurt by family, it’s like a forgiveness that will never come or when it does, the closeness is lost forever and conflict may even arise, every time the persons are in each other’s company. But there is hope yet! Hope doesn’t have to come in the form of costly therapy either.

The Root of Some Family Issues

Looking into the life of a son that was shown much favor by his father, not knowing or realizing the special attention and appreciation was silently creating resentment by his other brothers, turned their once happy and respectful hearts into bitter chances to create chaos in the family unit. Once those jealous brothers saw the chance to carry out something so evil and heinous towards their brother, they took that opportunity. They were not thinking at the time the pain and hurt they were about to cause a mother, who at one long stretch of time couldn’t even bare children, and their father whom loved all of his children for the different talents and gifts they were born with but only showed one son favor all the time. Those jealous brothers kidnapped then stripped their own brother, tossing him into a well, then allowing him out only to be sold into slavery. Once he was living out his days as a slave enclosed in a pit, he revealed some special qualities about himself that were also partially the very reason why his brothers were so jealous of him for he had a gift of foreseeing the future in his dreams and could help anyone decipher what they were going through and why or even when their strife would end and how. And because of this gift, this man became a person of interest to an egyptian master named Pharaoh because he was having the same dream over and over and no one throughout his land of people could explain to him why he were having the same dream and or what it meant. That talented man from the pit sold into slavery was named Joseph and because he suffered at the hand of his own family not even knowing it until it was too late for revenge, he had to forgive them and move on with his very prosperous life. Sometimes in life, even though the situations are very personal, we as people have to move on in life rather than remain stuck on issues that stunt our growth and stagger our means of surviving. Joseph was very prayerful while captive and very prayerful throughout his life, believing that if the Lord continued to work through him that he could do or be anything his heart desired.

If people really believe in all their hearts that they can be or do anything then no family issue would hinder them from growing as a human being and nothing would make them stray from the love that should come from a family member. For those that have no family left, there is always a friend whether in school, at work or maybe a neighbor that should be able to reach out and be that ear of reasoning or advice or just to listen because everybody needs somebody. The world we live in is far from perfect but every little effort counts. Every time a heart is grieving there should be ten more hearts available to render love and support so that person knows they are not alone and going through a tough time as punishment but because it is Gods will or whatever sovereign they worship hopefully they believe in a religion, but they also understand that while a person is grieving and personally suffering with issues to practice patience before an angry tongue ruins lives and family relationships.

Something to Consider for now on....

Unresolved family tension can fester and reproduce if the right ones never communicate their feelings and be ready to accept those areas where they themselves may have been at fault. Keep a simple non-mathematical equation in mind : The root to bitterness is hate; The symptom to bitterness is sarcasm; and the result of bitterness is manipulation-using people instead of loving them (Bill Crowder, 2011). As long as we know the powerful end results to hurting one another and the paths that road can take us, then we can and should begin to consider others more effectively from now on. The power of revenge only brings more misery to those that must keep up evil crooked plans forever trying to get back at someone else when the negative energy put into existence returns the revenge back on them in a continuous cycle.

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