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Searching for a wife/husband! tips to finding true love in a lasting relationship

Updated on December 21, 2012

Finding true and lasting love

Choosng a person to share your life with is one of the most important things you will do in your life! It can be a make or break decision and should be done with the utmost care! Below are some tips to consider before taking the plunge!

Are you ready to be a wife or husband?

Marriage comes with the responsibility 'to have & to hold', whether it is difficult or easy, till death do us part'

It is not about the glamour of the wedding day! , But the way you live afterwards! If you are not willing to be the best wife or husband, Don't Even Bother! Making a marriage work takes commttment, sacrifice and hard work! However, it is a lot of fun wth the right person even when things are difficult.

You must think very hard before making a choice about who to spend the rest of your life with.

As a guide, ask yourself the following!

How do they treat others?

Watch how they treat others,! Are they considerate? Do they show respect to people, or do they talk them down?, Do they have a good relationship with family?, Have they formed any lasting relationships with friends?, Do they go the extra mile for people? Do they bully people who are less fortunate than themselves?. Do they show extreme anger and hatred towards others?

The truth is at the beginning of a relationship they may not show any of these traits/tendencies to you personally, but if they do it to others, they will eventually get round to you!

Can I tolerate their weaknesses?

Be honest, can you tolerate their weaknesses? Remember, you hope to be there for the long haul. If they do something you absolutely hate, do not deceive yourself , as it will come between you eventually!

One lady said,

‘Personally, I hate the smell of alcohol on a man’s breath! I could never compromise on that,

I think it is because my Dad drank so much! Having to live with that for a lifetime would be terrible!'’

However, if you believe you could live with the person’s weakness for a lifetime, there shouldn’t be a problem.

Could we be friends for life?

Look for someone who will be your friend for life. Someone you can laugh or cry with, someone with whom you can be yourself. If you have to pretend to please them, that is a definite no go area, as you will not be able to pretend for a lifetime.

Do we share similar ideals, goals, visions?

Be realistic! These are questions that must be answered. If you do not share similar ideals, goals and visions, are you willing to drop yours and adopt theirs?, or possiblty meet them halfway, are they willing to drop theirs, or meet you half way?, Do they want children?, do you want children?, if you do, and they don’t, could you live without children?. If you are a professional, could you give up work.,and become a housewife for instance? if that ‘s what he wants? No matter how gracious you are, it is very difficult to relate to someone who has a different mentality to yours. For instance, if you come from a from a very close knit family, that shares everything, and you meet someone who does not understand the meaning of the word ‘share’, there will be a lot of conflict because they may not be able to comprehend the way you do things Unless the person is open to change, and willing to embrace it, there will be conflict. On the othter hand, if they are willing to change their perspective, you wll have to be patient enough to teach them, as they will not change overnight!.

A man once told me,

'She did not have a close relationship with her family , and did not see why I should be close to my family either, she took every opportunity to cause conflict between us. and keep me apart from my famly. Eventually, we went our different ways!'

Be realistic!

Although in your dreams you want a tall, tan and tempting man, he may not possess the qualities that will make you happy. You may find these is a man who may not be as tall as you would have wanted! However 'short' does not mean he is stout and stupid! He may just be the love of your life! A lot of people miss it, because they look for the wrong things. Don’t look on the surface, or outward appearance, as all that glitters is not necessarily gold!

Looks will fade with age anyway. Having wealth and possessions will never compensate for the lack of true love. Finding true love, is like discovering a precious diamond. We all know that diamonds are never found on the surface, and that when one is found, it is always rough and uncut. However, true love is found when we look at the substance and potential of a person and work with it. The end result is a multifaceted gem which will gleam its light to the ends of the earth!

if you want to stroll along the beaches of life and accumulate unforgettable memories along the way, don't rush in! Many who have, rush out again very quiclkly!

Above all pray that God will lead you to the right person, and believe they are out there, , somewhere, waiting for your warm embrace!

can true love be found

do you think it is possible to find true love?

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    • tracy imevbore profile image

      tracy imevbore 6 years ago from england

      i agree, it is a challenge which takes a lot of tact and patience! However, it is worthwhile to persevere as the results can be truly awesome. However, women cannot afford to rush into relationships that are of no benefit,and leave them feeling worthless.

      We are valuable and must not make the mistake of 'throwing our pearls to the pigs'.i believe there are good men as well as women out there!

      As for having half a brain, that's why we need each other, to complete the picture!

    • dotty1 profile image

      dotty1 6 years ago from In my world

      Interesting hub, however for us women dealing with the male of the species and finding out if you are compatible is a challenge to say the least!!! I mean what was god thinking creating two beings to procreate and one of them doesn't even use half of its brain !!! eeek say no more :)