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Sex Has Ceased, And You're Wondering Why? -50 reasons why she's no longer sleeping with you- Stephanie Bailey

Updated on December 11, 2013
Miss-Adventures profile image

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

Hey guys, has a lady you've been seeing all of a sudden stopped having sex with you? Believe me, there's definitely a reason. A friend of mine recently asked me this question, and then he suggested I write an article about "why sex ceases?"

Let me tell you why from a woman's perspective (I collaborated with several of my best gal-pals), and came up with 50 potential reasons why we stop having sex with men:

1. Never any foreplay before sex—straight to sex

2. You expect foreplay but won't ever give foreplay

3.You don't dirty talk or your dirty talk is too degrading

4. You ask her to do things that are demeaning

5. You're too quiet during sex

6. You're a quick draw (

7. You're not well endowed

8. Not passionate enough—it's just a motion to you

9. You only like missionary position

10. Once you orgasm you don't care about making sure she does—selfish lover

11. Body issues (i.e. you talk about how "fat" you think you're getting)

12. You're always intoxicated before having sex

13. No kissing during sex

14. You ask if you're "big enough" and expect her to share past lover information

15. You keep your eyes closed the entire time

16. You always want her to be on top

17. You don't take 5 minutes to snuggle after sex

18. You don't initiate sex

19. There's no chemistry during sex

20. You're overly sweaty during sex and it's cold outside (do you ever go to the gym?)

21. You usually don't want to have sex (i.e. too tired or another lame excuse)

22. You point out a flaw about her body

23. You're too rough and aggressive (passionate is one thing, overly aggressive is another)

24. You talk about wanting to have threesomes—a lot!

25. You talk about other women being sexier

26. You have bad body odor and/or bad breath

27. You don't ask her about her day/week before instigating sex

28. After sex you ask her to leave and it's the first time sleeping together (i.e. "busy day" ahead)

29. You make horrible sex noises—overly loud grunting or huffing (what is that?)

30. You only want sex on your time, when you want it

31. You're not sensual

32. You expect a relationship after sex when you know she's dating other people

33. You're rude/distant in the morning

34. After sex for the first time no call/text, 3 days—Seriously?!—Do you want her to feel like she was used?

35. You've become lazy in the bedroom (see some of the above)

36. Sex is never spontaneous

37. You ask her if she ever thought about getting a boob job during sex

38. You have a roommate—you're over 30 years old and not living in NYC

39. You call her the wrong name in bed

40. Every time after sex you quickly get dressed—what's up with that?

41. You suck (no pun intended) at foreplay

42. You continually have a hard time getting it up or keeping a hard-on—okay, but do something about it.

43. You left too many marks: hickies/bites on her body—don't mark your territory

44. Sex is way too long & becomes boring and drying

45. Too serious—boring!

46. Too clinical in bed--she doesn't want to feel like she's getting an exam

47. You baby talk—no "titty-witties" comments please (

48. Unacceptable behavior outside the bedroom ( ie. you blow her off in public or you only sleep with her—never take her out)

49. Your dog is always staring or jumping onto the bed during sex

50. You gave her a sexually transmitted disease (Not cool!)

Bottom-line, sex should be enjoyable for both parties involved---no one likes a lazy or selfish lover. Guys, you need to realize that sex for most woman is emotional. Until you can connect that way, you can't expect a sustainable or physical connection.


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    • Miss-Adventures profile image

      Stephanie Bailey 4 years ago from Denver

      True...unless they have been dating for awhile before hand.

      Lol...and yes I do agree that a lot of men are self-centered and unfortunately let their egos get the best of them thank you for reading I always enjoy your opinions. :)

    • Miss-Adventures profile image

      Stephanie Bailey 4 years ago from Denver

      Thanks for reading dashingscorpio!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      I suppose if a guy is not in a "committed relationship" he is probably having sex with other women and is not likely to care enough to figure out why one woman stopped having sex.

      Most of us men are too self-centered especially during our youth. We're likely to think she is holding out because we have NOT suggested having a "committed relationship". :-)

    • Miss-Adventures profile image

      Stephanie Bailey 4 years ago from Denver

      Thank you for reading Dashingscorpio. Yes communication is the key however this list wasn't created for couples in a committed relationship, this is during the dating stages---a few dates, weeks or possible days of dating depending on the comfortable of when one chooses to sleep together.

    • Miss-Adventures profile image

      Stephanie Bailey 4 years ago from Denver

      Marketeconomy I agree or even more so---knowing ahead of time so maybe dating can move to the next level. :)

    • Miss-Adventures profile image

      Stephanie Bailey 4 years ago from Denver

      Thank you for reading!

    • profile image

      marketeconomy 4 years ago

      I agree with dashingscorpio that communication is the key - hopefully this list will help couples figure out what may be wrong, and aid them in open communication.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      I guess the real question is: Why would a woman stay in a relationship or marriage with a guy who she did not want to have sex with? Should she be surprised if there is no food in the "refrigerator" that he would go out to a restaurant or visit someone else who was serving up a hot meal?

      I believe all 50 items are legitimate reasons why a woman may not want to have sex with a man. Aside from #7 a man can do something about. Nevertheless the real problem is a complete lack of communication.

      Too often one thinks of communication as being the responsibility of the "unhappy" person. For instance if this "neglected" man went out and cheated people would say (he) should have told his wife or girlfriend he was unhappy.

      Communication is a "two-way" street. If someone has decided to "stop" doing something (they) should feel obligated to announce it. If you worked a job where you were told upfront that paydays were on the 15th and last day of the month and 6 months in the 15th rolls around one month and you don't get paid you'd go to payroll. If once you got there they told you the company (switched) to a once a month pay cycle you'd be upset that they never put out a "memo" or announcement!

      It seems when it comes to being "committed" in a relationship or marriage we tend to believe it's the (one exception) where one can STOP doing something and expect things to remain the same.

      We know if we quit going to work we'll lose our job, if we quit paying the mortgage we'll lose our house, and if we quit working out we gain weight or become less toned. "When we change our circumstances change."

      I think we'd all do well to remember the old Impressions song lyric: "The same thing it took to get your baby is the same thing it's going to take to keep them." :-)

      “While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions” – Stephen R. Covey