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How to introduce sex in a sexless marriage

Updated on November 13, 2014

Sexless Marriage

Sexless Marriage

A sexless marriage can be quite hard to deal with when the act of intimacy is not involved.

If you once had that free flowing abundance of intimacy that your spouse freely gave you and then all of a sudden “nothing”, then you may want to reconsider what is going on in your marriage to have caused this.

Proper communication, to actively express your feelings to your spouse may be very important during these times. 

Now we can open up to each other and let each other know how e feel so that the obstacles of sex does not interfere with our progressive growth in our relationship.

Sit down and talk with your spouse to see what has changed or what needs to be changed in order to make the marriage work. A sexless marriage can be quite frustrating and terrible to bear.

Allowing you and your partner to distance yourselves like this, has proven that your marriage has slipped and needs to effectively be recovered, in order for it to survive successfully.

The most natural way to approach a situation where a sexless marriage or relationship is involved, is not with conflict or arguments, because you may push your spouse further away from you.

Ask yourself if the affection has entirely disappeared or if your spouse is having an affair outside the home.

This may be the cause of a sexless marriage. For some people, it may be too hard to think that your spouse is cheating on you. This may introduce new diseases and conflicts in the future if not handled properly.

If you want to keep your spouse than consider alternative and strategic methods to successfully introduce a new peace and encouragement into your relationship.

If you can set yourselves up to rebuild the trust you once had through affection and understanding, then there still may be a chance for you both.

Why Men Cheat on Wives

Men cheat on their wives because there is an obvious lack of affection and attention at home. Men need attention and affection just like everyone else in a happy relationship or marriage.

If this feeling is taken away from the home then men will attempt to create this feeling elsewhere which leads to affairs and then an eventual divorce.

First off, try to understand why your man feels the ways he does. Are you providing him enough attention and affection at home so that he doesn't have to seek this elsewhere? This is mostly why men leave. It is very important that these attributes in a marriage are genuinely expressed so that he doesn't have to seek this kind of attention somewhere else.

Make sure you always try to give your man the most affection and attention possible while at home. This goes the same for the both of you. When this special attribute in a relationship is gone, you will surely find out that men will try to seek this feeling elsewhere.Also, check on how you are communicating with him. He also needs to effectively know how you feel about the situation if you suspect that he is cheating on you.

Approach this conversation with him without conflict and arguments. You don't want to push him away further then how he is now.A natural order of compromise and understanding will help alleviate the frustration and stress that infidelity bring to a marriage. Especially if you still want to change it for the better.

Reasons Why:

1. They are looking for a younger and fresh looking women

2. They may be tired of the same old things every day. Mixing things up in a relationship is very important.

3. They are not getting the right amount of attention and affection from you. Always make sure that you are giving and receiving the right amount of affection each day. Men need this in their lives.

4. Sex in bed may not be what it used to be. A little creativity and location can do the trick most of the time. Never be afraid to talk a little dirty to your husband. Bedtime should be playtime in a relationship or marriage.

5. Communicate and listen to each others needs and desire in the relationship. What are you not doing or are doing that makes the relationship they way it is today?

6. Always keep your husband surprised of what you do and look. Keeping a fresh wardrobe along with some great ideas for going out allows you and your husband to experience new and exciting things together. Remember that the more memories you make with your husband the better he will feel about you. This works well when couples are in danger of losing themselves to another woman.

7. Wives do love their husbands and they don't want to see them with another woman especially if they had already put all their time, effort and years into the relationship. I always say that making up is what needs to be done, but done effectively.

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    • profile image

      Anahis 3 years ago

      , true blood does feel like a gay-esque show but i know a lot of straight dudes like me who like it. plus trhees a lot of naked chicks in it. looking at one right now. nice nice.

    • profile image

      Camille 3 years ago

      Oh get off your high horse already with that crap! Why shuold a straight guy be comfortable with two men kissing if he's straight? You can shove your thought police bullshit up your a**.Also, your comparison of gays to black people is so condescending and insulting to blacks that it defies belief.Btw, maybe the reason you're so condescending to black people is because as a whole they are anti-gay? And so anyone who doesn't share your glowing positive view of homosexuality is somehow a disgrace ? What's next? Maybe round up all those nasty homophobes and send them to re-education camps? You'd like that wouldn't you?No, you sir, are the disgrace! Maybe you shuold see a psychiatrist about your tendencies for thought police fascism, as it kinda' reminds of some very dark periods in history of the previous century.Unbelievable.

    • antonrosa profile image

      antonrosa 5 years ago from USA

      @ dashingscorpio: I totally agree with the points you made concerning a sexless marriage. Men do need to feel loved and need the attention and affection from his wife.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      The article is lacking another concern. What happens when it is the *man* who lacks the desire for intimacy? What are his reasons? Is it because, "that's just the way I am," or is there something hidden deep within?

    • jamila sahar profile image

      jamila sahar 6 years ago

      great interesting hub, especially with people getting so many divorces in this time, it is very important if you made this commitment to work on any difficulties. it seems in this day and time, people just give up at the first sign of any slight problem and head for divorce. another source of problems is the economy which has a lot of people very stressed ! thanks for sharing ! voted up interesting and useful !

    • profile image

      Refused 6 years ago

      I wholly agree with you. It is sad when a spouse (wife) withholds sex unneccessarily, and even worse when her behavior drives the person away. This is not to excuse cheating, but merely to show how they go hand in hand. A comedian said "A sexless marriage is like a starving person living with a sandwich."

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 7 years ago

      Excellent hub.

      I think it's underestimated as to how important sex is to a man in marriage. It's been said a woman feels loved when her husband helps with chores around the house and shows consideration for her doing various other deeds.

      Men need to feel their wives desire them!

      Foresaking all others only to find themselves married to women who don't initiate sex let alone want to have sex with them makes men feel unloved.

      A woman can cook 3 meals a day, wash his laundry, clean the house, and take care of the house budget...etc But if she does not want to be held in his arms, kissed, and have passionate sex with him then he does not feel loved.

      After all, those other things could be handled by himself.

      If 80% of what a wife is willing to do for a man are things he can do for himself the marriage is in trouble.

      A "Sexless Marriage" is nothing more than roommates with the same last name.