- Gender and Relationships
Sexuality In 2010
Darkest Before The Dawn
We all know how sexuality has changed over the centuries. We have still have the image of the caveman dragging his partner around by her hair, Tarzan and Jane, chastity belts, and young woman being sold off by their fathers to old men. The "be seen and not heard" still goes on in some places. There are still certain religious groups who inter-marry and marry off their children to much older men who really constitute as child molesters in my book. Not to mention ones who can never marry and vow celibacy.
The 1960s and 1970s had the whole Woodstock and "free love" thing going on. Multiple partners and group sex was pushed front and center. However, this was only for the 'hippies' and the anti-war youth. The early 1980s brought out the serious dance clubs where homosexuality and bisexuality really showed itself for the first time in our history NYC was infamous for the "gay bath houses and S&M clubs (another hub for sure). The 1990s, I have a hard time pin pointing, but we did gain the term Metro-Sexual (man) which has connotations from sensitive stylish man to a man who is really gay and not admitting it.
Well, here we are in "twenty-ten". We still have the nuclear family but swingers are at an all time high, homosexuality is celebrated in some areas and a huge sin in others, bi-sexuality is actually trendy especially among females, infidelity is so ever present that society has become numb to it and almost excepts it. So what is sexuality today?
Straight Is Not So Straight
"Sexuality is Fluid" is a very "in" term for basically saying that the "lines" of sexuality are not so defined. Sexuality is like water it has movement with an ebbing and flowing. There have been many studies, dating pretty far back, which suggest this is in fact true. Look at the bell curve idea. You have Heterosexuality on the bottom of one side of the bell and Homosexuality on the bottom of the bell and a whole lot left for discussion in the middle.
As you rise up on each side of the bell in small degrees something interesting occurs. You begin to see that there are far fewer people who are 100% solidly on either side. How many "100" homosexual people have NOT experimented with the opposite sex. I would argue very few. Whether it is social pressure or honest "I am not really sure" attitude almost every person who says I am Gay has probably checked out the opposite sex to some degree.
The Heterosexual community are not as willing to openly admit to experimentation or admit they have even thought about it. Let me argue, they have. I know for a fact the Gay bars are frequented with "straight" men who lead completely double lives. In fact, my sources tell me that, gay bars with parking in the rear (HA) are filled with straight men. Why? Because their cars will not be seen. There are, also, men who are perfectly happy with their wives or girlfriends yet like to have oral sex performed on them by other men. Some might say it is powerful, erotic, or give the feeling of deviance. It is probably all of this things. It is what it is!
Now the ladies. The Sisters are a little more open with the attitude "I kissed a girl and I liked it." There has always been the fantasy (for men) to see two woman have sex. Right? It is not that rare of an occurrence. Threesomes have been around forever (1 guy to 2 girls ratio). Ladies are sensitive and often enjoy the change of a female to female relationship for a change. I know several females who date men and woman.
Colleges are swarming with girls making out. The guys love it and the girls think it is "fun' and not a big deal. Back in the 1980s you were pretty progressive if you were a college girl making out with other girls. It happened pretty frequently but today it is down right COOL. A lot of woman make out to turn men on. Interesting, this almost sets sexuality back in time woman reacting for men? Food for thought.
Fantasy. The mind is a wonderful thing or a dangerous place you might not want to go in alone. I am sure if men and woman were honest somewhere in their sexual fantasies they have crossed the line more than once. There is a sexual freedom in fantasy that evades the social pressure. However, I bet many people won't even fantasize because on some level they are embarrassed as if some how everyone can read their mind
You can see that the bell curve is not so weighed down on the bottom ends. Any fantasy or action that involves the same sex takes a person off their solid footing on the bottom of the bell. I question those individuals who claim up and down that they are 100% straight. I was once told by a "very" gay man "You never know who will float your boat."
Social Aceptability Over Time
The media once again is huge the barometer for what the public finds socially acceptable. Cable has LOGO a "gay" channel. Reality TV is very open with sexual topic, actors are openly gay where at one time they all had "beards". Sports figures are serial cheaters. When we "see" things over and over again society loosens the reigns on its' opinions of what is socially acceptable. When every one is doing it it becomes ok. I bet some director or producer has already come up with the threesome idea for a reality show. There was a short lived show called Swingtown on one of the major networks. It was set in the 1970s and showcased a very liberal couple juxtaposed to a more conservative couple. The more liberal couple were not the only ones to experiment. The show did not fly. My guess is try putting that show on cable and let it loose. I bet it takes off!
Progress is a good thing. We can not have the same sexual standards as we did hundreds of years ago. I would argue that sexual repression leads to many negative things.
Where Does This Leave Us?
Sexuality has made vast progress. There will always be men loving woman and vice verse. This will remain the majority for many years to come. But, there will always be men loving men, woman loving woman, and again a whole in between.
Sexually fluidity I believe will continue to rise. We are all human beings who interact on many different levels with one and other and should be "allowed" to without ridicule and chastising. Sexual repression has never been good for anyone and probably leads to much bigger problems- doesn't seem to be working out too well for certain religious secs.
Maybe most people will live there lives and never act on their feelings for the same sex or the idea of inviting another person/persons into their bed. I am certain they have thought about it!